Whew! So glad yesterday is over!. . . I really put myself through a lot and I was miserable for a good part of the day!
Brief recap of my made-up drama: I screwed up by making an honest mistake (and nobody died, or was hurt... it really wasn't a big deal--lol...), and then my super evil mean inner (s)ELF started screaming at me in my head all day long (you know, the haTeR voice that says we are so stupid, wrong . . . and should be perfeckt?--not humanly possible) and she (my mean inner (s)elf happens to be a girl) SERIOUSLY WOULD NOT SHUT UP!
Anyway, GUESS wHaT?
I pretty much filtered everything all day long through the lens of "I'm a screw up" and I seriously misinterpreted a lot of go(o)d stuff that was going on around me. I took things personally that were not personal, and I seemed to feel all the energy drain out my feet until I was completely exhausted by the afternoon...
That mean inner (s)elf is a total (bull)y, and I don't quite know what to do about her. Funny thing the awful crap we tell ourselves . . . cuz I know she's really (me)an & (me).
How do we make friends with the icky mean parts of ours(elves)? Maybe I'll. . .
- yell back or write her an eviction notice and tell her she is fired (but that's being mean, too . . . and that's not me)
- invite her to dinner and ask her why she is so mean
- buy her a mango smoothie and hear her story find out who treated her so yucky
- hug her and make friends with her
LIGHT BULB IDEA: I wonder if she is the same part of me that criticizes and complains about other people? Yikes...I think this is huge. I could get to know her a lot better... maybe I'll start by giving her name?
Good thing we are all works in progress! What makes Life BEautiful is there's so much to learn, yo! And we are unwritten. . .
SosOMuchoQuiero!
;) dana
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