"Tend to your own garden." ~Voltaire, Candide

"Tend to your own garden."

~ Voltaire, Candide

Sunday, March 8, 2015

This morning, I was describing how I am struggling right now because some huge stuff is going on, and I feel like I have to take care of everything myself. 

My husband, a very smart man (bless him) asked me this: "What if it's not true that you have to take care of everything?" (huge pause) "What if you just think you do?" (another huge pause) "Maybe you sometimes do for others, but they don't really need you to? Or, what if other people can step up?"

JEESH. ( . . . maybe this is really about me? . . .) ouch. (not really--I needed to hear this).

I know for a fact that writing sustains me, and is a means for making sense of my experience and for self-care.

I haven't blogged for awhile, and I need to get back to it. Life has showed up very intensely for the past year or so, and that's been my excuse NOT TO WRITE. Today, I get it that sharing my experiences and perspectives is precisely what I'm supposed to do--ESPECIALLY and PRECISELY when life gets messy. So hear goes . . . about taking care of everything and everybody (which is made up, anyway . . .)

For the past few years, I have been in the process of unpacking a huge epiphany, an operating assumption that so many of us have, which is: 

In order to be okay, we need others to be okay first.

It sounds nice to take care of others, but there are string attached, right?  When we trying to make other people okay so we can be comfortable, it's a no win setup for everybody. It also prevents us from getting to okay because we're too preoccupied with others to take care of ourselves. Here's how messed up this gets:

• our value is outsourced to others from the outside in, rather than from the inside out
• we are not in touch with what we need because we focus on the needs of others
• we are off the hook for working on our own issues
• as we depend on their comfort for ours, we set up an unrealistic expectation--which is actually pretty manipulating!
• people are robbed of their experiences because of our attempts to micromanage their emotional landscapes

Knowing this on a conscious level is a game-changer for me. It's a tricky balance, knowing when to give, when to receive, and where to focus our attention.

For now, I think I'll be minding to my own business for awhile. I need to make sure I'm okay before I help others, so I'm fully present and available to the people in my life. I think I will spend some time tending to my own garden.

Happy You Year!

haPpy yOu yEaR!

Happy 2015, fun&freePps!

Good news! I was featured on THE DAILY LOVE this week as a guest blogger-ette! Check it out & leave a comment about the content and how it speaks to you~thanks so much in advance! Click here for my specific post: Dana's GuEst bLog.

So we've dropped a big story in the past couple of days, and now it's time to rock it to the present and the future! This is your year of creating and celebrating the life you desire-- welcome to 2013! You are aLIVE and yoUr fabulous existence began as a strand of DNA . . . amazing . . . huh? How do you live your life on purpose, with purpose? 

I am doing a lot of stuff right now to figure out them meaning of my LIFE('s) juiciest purpose, and when I get in touch with me, I can check in to what gives me a feeling of passion and what brings me to LIFE!

When I used to live from the OUTSIDE:IN, I worried a lot about what other people thought of me--I found myself reacting to life rather than responding to it. And while responding is a more powerful place than reacting, I still wasn't living life & loving (myself and others) as a powerful coCreator!

I beLIeVE it is my destiny (& yours, too) to be the most powerful and fabulous expression of me I can be! That is each of our highest calling.

So, are you living life small? Or, are you living LARGE and in CHARGE--bursting forward with pursuing the amazing creative aCtS that give you energy and passion?

Have you every thought that the world will be a better place if you sHaRe your amazing gifts with the You-niverse, with your fellow travelers--otherwise, why would you be here? What presence do you wish to leave as your own personal signature to our delicious and amazing existence?

That doesn't mean that life is easy, and there won't be challenges--as a matter of fact, the hard stuff is designed especially for us so we can learn and become even more amazing (I know it's hard to believe when your in the emotional and experiental crapper). Check out this Dr. Seuss vid called "Oh, The Places You'll Go" as a reminder of the awesome texture of LIFE!

Today, the first day of the NEW YEAR--I challenge you to do a bit of writing.

• Make a list of at least 10 things, people, experiences, or opportunities that you are incredibly grateful for--be as specific and detailed as you can. Read the list out loud and at the end of each item, graciously feel the gratitude and say Thank you in your mind's eye.
• Create another list of 5 things you desire to call in for this New Year--again, be very specific and write in the present tense. For example, I am earning an extra $1,000 each month, or, I run painlessly and freely each day. When this list is complete, read the list out loud, envision each desire fully with all of your senses-- and at the end of each item, graciously feel the gratitude and say Thank you, and so it is in your mind's eye. If you're really into it, you can create a vision board with the 5 things you's like to manifest--collect images, magazine snippets, drawings, whatever you like, and make a visual representation of each of your 5 desires that you can hang somewhere you'll see it every day.
• Revisit your lists daily, and do the gratitude piece to close each process.

This is just on step to living your life as your BeSt sElF--remember that every juicy moment and hOLy interaction is created jUsT for you to reaCh youR hIghEsT poTentIaL! What are some of your desires in the new year? Leave a comment on the blog--we appreciate you sharing your experience!

You are large and in charge! LOL!

Blessings in the New Year!

Dana

GreAt-FuLL

“There is a calmness to a life lived in gratitude, a quiet joy.”

― Ralph H. Blum

Hey funfreeme followers!

Hope this blog finds you in a hApPy space! I have been doing a lot of reading lately about being thankful (aka grateful). 

I can remember when was a kid believing that a lot of times, other kids had all the GooD StufF like cool clothes (which in my day was red-tag Levi's--don't you dare wear the orange-tag Levi's!),  parents who gave them everything, expensive shoes, awesome vacations, and the list goes on . . . I know you are thinking OMG she must be SoOoooooOO oLD! But really now, times haven't changed that much (although the "stuff" has changed a lot . . .). 

instead of wondering 

where your stuff is? 

or 

expecting someone else to give it to you?

[ painful :( ],

do you ever

. . . pause. . . 

to be 

gRaTeFuL

for what you DO have, 

[ AWESOME! ;) ]!

Hmmnnn . . . maybe we can switch our attention away from what is painful to what is awesome! How? . . . here is my first vlog . . . (apologies for the roughness...) about just that!

Being GRATEful is GREAT!

I am so thankful for all of you!

With so much love and gratitude,

Dana

Go WithIN ...

hAPpY sAtUrDaY ffpps!
   The last few days have been thinking a lot about peAce, and how to calm ourselves  and become present enough to get quiet and clear . . . so we can JuSt Be . . .

We can get quiet and get present in a lot of ways . . . I think I've described meditating (below is a turtle meditation about getting quiet within yourself . . . like a turtle goes into it's shell!:)  

Sometimes, going inside (like a turtle) is so necessary . . . either to protect yourself  from people or situations with gross, icky energy; just to check in with yourself to refuel and get your "stuff" back together; to calm down; or to just rest. Isn't it nice to know that you can do this FOR YOURSELF whenever you want? Whew! and YAY!

I totally believe in breathing deeply, laughing, doing your passion, and spending time with children and pets! There are many ways to experience peace (and it ain't outSIDe of yOu!); PEACE is an INside job! 

Sometimes going out into nature is the best remedy for finding peace; when I want peace, I can go for a walk, look at the trees, smell the flowers, and feel the wind. 

Take a few minutes today to find a little piece of peace . . . 

Have an amazing, fun-filled day (and liFe!)...

pEaCe iN!

;) dana

Love YouR LIFE!

deAr funfreeMepeeps!

This amazing reminder landed in my mailbox this morning from one of my favorite tweeters, notsalmon.com---check her out! She's so super groovy & inspirational!

Her post reminds me how important it is to take beautiful care of me and to keep all the promises I make to myself.

So, here are some promises I would like to keep to ME!

1. Be present when I am with my children.
2. Hug my kids and tell them how much I love them.
3. Get enough sleep.
4. Be a good teacher!
5. Hug my students and tell them how much I love them (WARNING!--POLITICALLY INCORRECT...oh well...)

This is kind of random, but I also promise myself that I will put lotion on my skin every day, look into the sun and counting my blessings, and thank God for my beautiful (and imperfect) life!

I am learning from everything!

Love you so much!

dAnA