Wednesday, October 31, 2012

fAcE uR fEaR . . bOo!

"I have not ceased being fearful,
but I have ceased to let fear control me.
I have accepted fear as a part of life
- specifically the fear of change,
the fear of the unknown;
and I have gone ahead despite the pounding in my heart that says:
turn back, turn back, you'll die if you venture too far."
- Erica Jong
Hey All!

Wow! After the full moon last night, I am totally ready to out myself and release an old pattern of mine. Right now, I am actually reading and working through an e-book called 50 Ways to Leave Your Karma by Eric Klein (sponsored by WisdomHeart). Module 1 calls us to observe habitual patterns, so I am doing some thinking about patterns in my own life.

Here's one bIggY for me: my fear of being alone.

Now, I'm not supposed to judge it as wrong or bad or be critical of it (by the way it's not my only pattern or fear . . .), I'm noticing that it has been a pattern that has served my in my life . . .
                  until now.

Fear of being alone has manifested for my in many ways, and I'm going to list the ones that I can think of right now:
  • I have settled for relationships that have not really met my needs (both men and women, both friendships and romantic partners)--because someone is better than no one (false belief), and it's better than being alone
  • I have stayed in relationships (sometimes for a long time), even though my heart knew it wasn't a good fit--because someone is better than no one (false belief), and there may not be anyone who's gonna show up, and it's better than being alone
  • I have acted outside of my authenticity to ensure that people wouldn't leave me with the false belief that if I could control people liking me, they would stay in relationship with me (not true) and I wouldn't be left alone
  • I have manipulated people into needing me, or chosen people who I knew would become dependent on me, so they wouldn't leave me and I wouldn't be alone
As I write this, there's part of me that is observing this pattern in a detached way--mostly because I know these things are not true for me anymore.

So, what is amazing (as those of you know  who have been following my process) at the end of the day, I am left with me, alone. It's okay. I am okay alone.

Makes me wonder why I have never wanted o be alone with me. I am amaZinG. I am mE.

Dana Lynne Curry (PhD when I need a boost of extra credit . . . I am smart!)

And I am beginning to be okay with being alone, although it's a process. Yikeys.

I am coming in to liking (and loving) me. 

Love,
(capital D) Dana

Wednesday, October 24, 2012

nO wAy! I cHooSe Me! (unselfishly . . . ) . . .

I love me - like Gary Halliwel
Hey FreEple!

So yesterday I blOgGed about spending time with me, taking care of and loving mySelF, trUsting (me)self, and listening to my gut. 

I don't know about you, yo--but I have spent a HUGE amount of time and energy saying yes all my life...to stuff I didn't really want to do in my GUT.

We humans tend to do this out of fear, like, for example, here's what we think in our silly melon-heads:

If I don't __________(fill in the blank). . . then (here comes the made up storysomeone might:
  • be mad at me
  • not like me
  • be disappointed
or,
  • I might miss out
  • everybody else is doing it
  • I won't be popular
Do you want to make your decisions and live your life based on fear of outside stuff (which you are actually making up in your head and which probably will NEVER happen), or do you want to trUst your gUt, say NO (or He##-no!) which means you are also saying YES to yoU and basing your decisions on lOvE and trUst of Ur inside stuff (Ur gut)!

That's what it means to put the in trUst. In the groWn uP world, we call this setting boundaries. It's kinda like claiming your territory as a person who gets to choose what feels right for U firmly (and sometimes gently) but with NO apologies. 

BTWU can't say yes to others unless U say it to U first, yo (U)!
Just sayin'! 

Can I get a WOOT-WOOT?!

Love (me first), and then lOvE U--- sosososos mUch!

:) Ur sEcReT aDmiRer, 
dAna-burgER

p.s. how do U take care of U? Let me know in the comments . . .

Tuesday, October 23, 2012

i am wiTh m(e)SelF! yikEys! . . . and yAy!

What are yOu mOst grAteFuL 4 on This dAy?
Tuesday, October 23, 2012
wHoA y'aLL!

mOnster learning cUrve 4 me tonight! . . .  it may sound weird,  . . . but I am all alone . . . and, it's not a bad thing! I am learning to loVe the compan(ionship) of mE, and take beautiful care of ME!

After a long but awesome day at my teaching job (I LOVE my Job and I lOve my kiDDoS & coLLeagues . . . even if they bug me) . . . I picked up my magical daughter from school, watched h2O (MERMAID SHOW) with her, had a bite to eat, and then went to Max's soccer game with my MOM (yo MIMI!) and Chloe! 

Afterwards, my kids went home with their dad ;( I always miss them . . . and I was BY MYSELF . . .

In the picture above, notice I have no makeup on, I have just taken a wonderful cleansing lavender soaking bath, and I am in my PIRATE ROBE (my kids have matching pirate robes, too . . . all three of us. I bought them off the clearance rack in the little boys department at Target . . . my favorite store. . . and XL for ME, a L for my magical son, MAX, and a SM for my amazing girl, CHLOE . . .). I think they were, like, $5.97 each . . . but totally PRICELESS!

Random SpongeBob SquarePants Pirate movie: AAAARRGHH!

I am also listening to a CD by Damien Rice that I got from one of my lifelong soul mates (whom I actually haven't seen or spoken with for years, but we're still connected . . . get it? it's bigger than FAceTime, faceBook, YouTube, GmaiL, TwiTTer, PinTresT or . . . . you fill in the blank).

You can also see me above with my favorite candle that reads, "What are you most grateful for on this day?" And really, that's where I like to live . . . in graTitUde.

But sometimes it's tough.

Most of us operate on a deficit, as in, we need more of (whatever) in order to feel complete. Problem is, we don't always realize that we need to fill up on our own love and care for ourselves, and stop looking for stuff from the oUTsIde in.

So that's why I'm secretly (not) proud tonight.

I have my favorite things around me: my musica lavender bathmy pirate robe, my blog (hey ho!), my candle, oyster crackers, and my diptych painting entitled "It'll All Make Sense Soon." I bought it as a leap of faith about 5 years ago when I felt my life was falling apart. I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW WHAT THE TITLE WAS WHEN I BOUGHT IT!
Coincidence? Yeah , right.!
And, of course, last but not least . . . our new favorite sign in the kitchen:
I mean, really, what more can you say?

Life is so, so Go(o)d. And WE make it so, by loving ourselves.

Night, night, y'All. Sweet dreams (as my best friend says ;) . . .
maNy blEsSiNgs and LoVe!

(i heArT) mE!

p.s. how do you take care of you? Leave me a comment and SpiLL it! We all need ideas!

Wednesday, October 17, 2012

we R huMan; we 4-get . . . & 4 get!

heLLo aMaziNg fun & free following!

I've been checking out and writing about Cherie Carter-Scott's Ten Rules for being Human for the past week or so. It has been an amazing journey, and I've been reminded of so much (stuff I had forgotten . . . see rule 10!)

Sadly, we just have the last left to consider:


10. you will forget all this.



 "Live life fully while you're here. 
Experience everything.
Take care of yourself and your friends.
Have fun, be crazy, be weird.
Go out and screw up!
You're going to anyway,
so you might as well enjoy the process.
Take the opportunity to learn from your mistakes:
find the cause of your problem and eliminate it.
Don't try to be perfect;
just be an excellent example of being human." 

- Anthony Robbins

Do you embrace and live fully in your craZiNeSS? One thing I loVE about the quote from AR is that he encourages us to be super goofy and fUn! And-we forget the lessons we have already learned sometimes, . . . and that's just fine!

That can be amazingly scary for folks when they worry a lot about what other people think about them. What I've learned in the last few years, is that if I am play-acting and trying to iMpReSS others about how awesome I am, and I am trying to be a certain way--I am not being truthful 'cuz when I'm trying, it's not me. When I'm me, I don't usually have to try
 (. . . well, unless I'm in a situation where I would normally do the whole people pleasing BS and I am consciously trying NOT to do it...)

Anyway, being hu(wo)man and ImPerFecKt is so awesome 'cuz I am not TRyIng so hard to control what everyone thinks of me (or what I make up @ what they think of me) aND (bonus) I can relax!

Totally takes the pressure off!

And I can do loving things for myself despite when I screw up---and I am more okay when other people screw up--I can be more loving to them! 

It's all good! 

Here's my new secret: (shhhhhhh . . . please tell EverYonE!)

peOplE
arE
dOing
aNd
BeIng
tHeir 
Best...

and sometimes their best totally sucks to us . . .
(believe me, I get it . . . I've been there!)

BUT ALSO CONSIDER THIS:

Don't you want other pEEpS
to ASSume
you
are always doing and being your bEsT?

So, I challenge you to
PAY IT FORWARD.

sOmEtImeS, (& . . . don't tell nE1 . . .) my best SUCKS! SUCKS HUGE! aND I don'T always know why! Sometimes, my best is to get my butt out of bed and gO pEE, pEEps---'cuz I'm sad, or mad, or SUpEr sTuCk! (but not very often, anymore thankfully . . . )

AnyWay, hope you get what I mEan. When have you given someone else a miss, and let them off the hook of your JUDGEMENT!? Let me know in the comments!

Love you and love EverYoNE!
;0) dAnA-drOpLeT (that's what my bro used to call me . . .)

Tuesday, October 16, 2012

Ur answerS lIe wIthIn U!


heLLo aMaziNg fun & free following!

I've been checking out and writing about Cherie Carter-Scott's Ten Rules for being Human for the past week or so. It has been an amazing journey, and I've been reminded of so much (stuff I had forgotten . . . see rule 10!)

Sadly, we just have two left to consider and they are:


9. Your answers lie within you. The answers to life's questions lie within you. All you nee to do is look, listen, and trust.


10. you will forget all this.



The soul knows everything. 
Be who you are and your life will transform forever. 
~Deepak Chopra

Only when we choose a calmer life can we actually listen to and get to know oUr(goOD and bAd)selves. 

When I was younger, I used to keep super busy (so people would know how much I had to do 'cuz i was so important and so responsible and I could multitask) all the time and make lists of stuff I had to do, check my lists off and make new ones...I even had lists of lists! I also tried to be friends with everyone (just like the girl in my lunch club). 

And guess what? It was exhausting for me 'cuz I couldn't keep up with everyone's dRaMa! I also ended up being kind of L(one)Ly 'cuz my friendships didn't go very dEEp (sounds familiar, right? that's the point, yo!). 

Anyway, looking back, al this business was really a way for me to run away from me. Like, as in, run away from getting to know myself and loving myself. Somewhere I learned that if I kept busy, if I did all this stuff for other people all the time, and if everyone liked me, I would be oKaY---problem is, I was living OUT:SIDE IN not IN:SIDE OUT.

We have to make friends with and LoVe ourselves, before we can LoVe others. I wish I would have known that when I was younger--but now I know (and I still have to practice, btw . . .) and, I know the You-niverse gives me everything in my own perfect time! 

And, I'm super blessed 'cuz now I kind of understand some of this stuff, and it helps me write this blog so I can share the You-niversal Go(o)dness with you! No coincidence about that!

So blessed to bLoG & thankful 4 U!
huggers! 
;) dana

Monday, October 15, 2012

it'S uP . . . uP . . . uP . . . to yOu, yo!

heLLo aMaziNg fun & free following!


I've been checking out and writing about Cherie Carter-Scott's Ten Rules for being Human for the past week or so. It has been an amazing journey, and I've been reminded of so much (stuff I had forgotten . . . see rule 10!)


Sadly, we just have three left to consider and they are:


8. What you make of your life is up to you. You have all the tools and resources you need. What you do with them is up to you. The choice is yours.

9. Your answers lie within you. The answers to life's questions lie within you. All you nee to do is look, listen, and trust.


10. you will forget all this.



Last summer I blogged about my Personal Codes of Truth for a week or so,--I even wrote them in chalk in my backyard driveway--and one biggie was "I am responsible for my own happiness." Interesting that we get reminders JUST WHEN WE NEED THEM, huh? Kinda sounds like rule ten, huh?


What you make of your life is up to you.
You have all the tools and resources you need.
What you do with them is up to you.
The choice is yours.

Most of my Personal Codes of Truth are about me taking back my own power and listening the Universe guide me everyday. Cool, 'cuz that guidance is inside my heart and my gut if I can get quiet enough to listen to it! So, that's actually helped me become more independent and responsible 'cuz I really can't blame others for my reality, my relationships, my stories, or my choices. In other words, I am responsible for my own happiness!
***********************************************************
Here's a cool piece about hApPiNeSs:

Tell everyone you know:
"My happiness depends on me, so you're off the hook."
And then demonstrate it.
Be happy, no matter what they're doing.
Practice feeling good, no matter what.
And before you know it,
you will not give anyone else responsibility for the way you feel-and then, you'll love them all.
Because the only reason you don't love them,
is because you're using them as your excuse to not feel good. 


~Esther Hicks inspirational speaker and best-selling author
*********************************************************************************
Like the quote says above, I get to choose where my energy and attention goes! Personally, I prefer the good stuff to the crap, and that means appreciating what's right in front of me. For example, 
  • right now I am eating my favorite treat--a delicious, icy coconut popsicle!--how lucky am I? (BTW it's almost three in the morning!!!!! oh well!)
  • and, I get to go for a nice walk in the morning 'cuz my mom's here to watch my kiddos--life is good!--
  • and, I'm doing one of my fav activities--writing to all of you! what could be better
  • and, I got a fabulous text from my daughter, Chloe, that said: "Sup yo this is Chloe I love you so much you are the best mom in the whole world I love you It's cool"--that's the awesomest message a mom could ever get!
Any-hoo, good thing I'm paying attention to all the yummy  juicy great stuff in front of me! I'm learning so much right now--in life, business school, relationships, and well, in everything! 

I personally believe we all have a birthright to be amazingly happy---life doesn't have to be dramatic and hard all the time (although we all have our ups and downs...). 

And personally, I think being dramatic and StReSsEd OuT is, well, 
eXhAustIng!

Just remember that when it gets tough, we can come out the other side with more tools and choices, if we choose to learn from the crappy stuff. How do you stay in your happy place? Leave an amazing comment or story and let me know!

BuCkeTs o' LoVe!
;0)  dana

Sunday, October 14, 2012

we R MirrOrs:sRorriM R ew


heLLo funfreefollowing!


My intention for the next 10 days is to dig into Cherie Carter-Scott's work, "Ten Rules for Being Human." Here's her list--I'll focus on one rule each day! Today is rule 7:
Other people are merely mirrors of you. You cannot love or hate something about another person unless it reflects to you something you love or hate about yourself.
We often settle for crumbs in our friendships when we all deserve the most delicious cake! Sometimes, we keep friends around, even when we are uncomfortable for whatever reason--we give too much, we are constantly criticized or told what to do, or we just can't be ourselves. Sometimes, we hang on just because we are afraid of being alone. Someone is better than no one, right? No Way!  Yikes!  RED FLAG!!!!!!

If we are mean to ourselves, and pay close attention to and listen to our inner mean girl, why shouldn't others be mean to us, as well? We draw into our lives people who reflect or mirror how we treat ourselves. 

Why don't we have the courage to let go of those friendships?
When I was in middle school, I used to wonder why other girls were so mean to me; I believed the rotten stuff they said about me, and I never stuck up for myself or argued with them.

This kept happening over and over again. Hmmmmnnnnnn...that's interesting...

Have you ever noticed that the SAME characters keep showing up in your life (with different faces, of course) until you learn the lesson you are supposed to learn ?!!!!?
Funny how that works! 

We teach people how to treat us. It doesn't matter whether the friends are girls or boys--people treat us the way we allow ourselves to be treated (BTW--it's the same when you are grown up!...)

You know, we actually train (yep, as in training dogs! ) the people in our lives how to treat us by what we are willing to put up with, and I believe this is soOoOoo true!

What is the first word we teach a dog?
"NO."
First, we teach a dog what we are NOT willing to put up with; then, we reward the dog when it behaves in a way that is acceptable to us. 

Hmmnn... lessons from dogs!

Would you keep a dog in your house who constantly barked at you and nipped at your fingers or clamped on to the bottom of your pant legs? Absolutely not!!!! (and if you did, who would be the problem? you? or the dog?...just sayin'...) 

So, if you are noticing that you surround yourself with people who aren't very nice to you, ask yourself "Why?" 
They are a reflection of how you feel about you! Otherwise, you would not put up with them...you would walk away! 

Walking down another street can be a really hard, brave thing to do, and sometimes we don't have choices about the people who surround us--like on teams, at work, or in school. 
When that happens, we can just look to others with love and detachment, and be 
on our way . . . on our own path

Much love!

Dana

Saturday, October 13, 2012

ruLe sIx: "there" iS nO bEtTEr pLacE tHan 'HerE"


heLLo funfreefollowing!

My intention for the next 10 days is to dig into Cherie Carter-Scott's work, "Ten Rules for Being Human." Here's her list--I'll focus on one rule each day! Today is rule 6:


Ten Rules for Being Human

by Cherie Carter-Scott
1.
You will receive a body. You may like it or hate it, but it's yours to keep for the entire period.
2.
You will learn lessons. You are enrolled in a full-time informal school called, "life."
3.
There are no mistakes, only lessons. Growth is a process of trial, error, and experimentation. The "failed" experiments are as much a part of the process as the experiments that ultimately "work."
4.
Lessons are repeated until they are learned. A lesson will be presented to you in various forms until you have learned it. When you have learned it, you can go on to the next lesson.
5.
Learning lessons does not end. There's no part of life that doesn't contain its lessons. If you're alive, that means there are still lessons to be learned.
6.
"There" is no better a place than "here." When your "there" has become a "here", you will simply obtain another "there" that will again look better than "here."
7.
Other people are merely mirrors of you. You cannot love or hate something about another person unless it reflects to you something you love or hate about yourself.
8.
What you make of your life is up to you. You have all the tools and resources you need. What you do with them is up to you. The choice is yours.
9.
Your answers lie within you. The answers to life's questions lie within you. All you need to do is look, listen, and trust.
10.
You will forget all this.



So, we all have a tough time being in the moment, or being in the NOW(as, in, like . . . right now you are reading this blog . . .)

A lot of times, when i'm actually doing something, i'm not really paying attention--like, my mind is elsewhere (like, worrying about the past or the future, of course)and my body is going through the motions (of life). sometimes i catch myself watching me (dana) in my own personal movie . . . i'm doing stuff but my mind is totally
checked out.

. . . this bad habit kind of robs me of my life cuz i'm not actually experiencing what is in front of me (which is a huge gift!). 

Go(o)D NeWs: we can choose our habits of thought---and, we can replace old habits that don't work anymore, with new and improved habits that make life even mOrE aMaZing!
So HOW do we beComE more pReSent? Here are a few iDeAs:
  • breathe deeply (and pay attention while you do it . . .)
  • hang out in nature--notice how amazing our world is!
  • play with kids, animals, and babies--they require that you stay in the present!
  • do what you love and live your passion! being creative is deeply engaging and takes us to a different state of consciousness . . . sometimes called a flow state...time drops off!
  • try meditating . . . it really calms your mind. 
More about peace tomorrow . . .
Have a beautiful day, and remember to 
B     r     e     a     t     h     e !

Gobs of love and peace!
dana

Friday, October 12, 2012

ruLe fIVe: lEarNinG LeSsonS dOes nOt eNd . . .

"Learning lessons does not end . . ."
10.12.12.

hApPy fReefreakeeFriDaY!

I've been looking at Cherie Carter-Scott's work, "Ten Rules for Being Human" for a few days. It's an amazing list! Check it out. I've been focusing on one rule each day, and today is rule 5!


Ten Rules for Being Human

by Cherie Carter-Scott
1.
You will receive a body. You may like it or hate it, but it's yours to keep for the entire period.
2.
You will learn lessons. You are enrolled in a full-time informal school called, "life."
3.
There are no mistakes, only lessons. Growth is a process of trial, error, and experimentation. The "failed" experiments are as much a part of the process as the experiments that ultimately "work."
4.
Lessons are repeated until they are learned. A lesson will be presented to you in various forms until you have learned it. When you have learned it, you can go on to the next lesson.
5.
Learning lessons does not end. There's no part of life that doesn't contain its lessons. If you're alive, that means there are still lessons to be learned.
6.
"There" is no better a place than "here." When your "there" has become a "here", you will simply obtain another "there" that will again look better than "here."
7.
Other people are merely mirrors of you. You cannot love or hate something about another person unless it reflects to you something you love or hate about yourself.
8.
What you make of your life is up to you. You have all the tools and resources you need. What you do with them is up to you. The choice is yours.
9.
Your answers lie within you. The answers to life's questions lie within you. All you need to do is look, listen, and trust.
10.
You will forget all this.


What rule 5 reminds me of is to be humble. Like, as in, we never "arrive." So I know that as long as I am alive, I will always be a student of life. What that means to me, is that I can relax and stop thinking that I am "done" or I "have arrived." In other words, my life is a work in progress, and I can relax and stop trying to be perfect.

We need to be open to the lessons the You-niverse provides us. What lessons is the You-niverse opening up 4 you?

Hearts!
D-Doggie-dog

Thursday, October 11, 2012

rule fOuR: LesSonS R re-PeAteD uNtiL tHeY R lEarNed . . .

"Lessons are repeated until they are learned."
10.11.12. 
(OMG look at the numbers on the date!)

hEy thErE hApPy freeFridaypeeps--
Hope your week has been amazing! For the past few days, I've been poking into Cherie Carter-Scott's work, "Ten Rules for Being Human." Her list is so short, but so incredibly powerful. Check it out! Today we'll be focusing on rule four . . . 
Ten Rules for Being Human

by Cherie Carter-Scott
1.
You will receive a body. You may like it or hate it, but it's yours to keep for the entire period.
2.
You will learn lessons. You are enrolled in a full-time informal school called, "life."
3.
There are no mistakes, only lessons. Growth is a process of trial, error, and experimentation. The "failed" experiments are as much a part of the process as the experiments that ultimately "work."
4.
Lessons are repeated until they are learned. A lesson will be presented to you in various forms until you have learned it. When you have learned it, you can go on to the next lesson.
5.
Learning lessons does not end. There's no part of life that doesn't contain its lessons. If you're alive, that means there are still lessons to be learned.
6.
"There" is no better a place than "here." When your "there" has become a "here", you will simply obtain another "there" that will again look better than "here."
7.
Other people are merely mirrors of you. You cannot love or hate something about another person unless it reflects to you something you love or hate about yourself.
8.
What you make of your life is up to you. You have all the tools and resources you need. What you do with them is up to you. The choice is yours.
9.
Your answers lie within you. The answers to life's questions lie within you. All you need to do is look, listen, and trust.
10.
You will forget all this.


Yesterday, I was writing about all of our individual lessons that are tailor-made especially for us by the Universe. It's interesting that many times, we think the same old stuff keeps happening to us, AND IT DOES . . . for a reason! As Carter-Scott writes, 
"A lesson will be presented to you in various forms until you have learned it.
When you have learned it, you can go on to the next lesson."
Know what? That means that if the same old s(tuff) keeps repeating itself in your life forming a painful pattern, we need to

WAKE UP
and see how we are
PARTICIPATING
in
PERPETUATING
the
PAINFUL PATTERN
and if we don't . . . 
no worries . . .
it'll come around and bite us in the butt again
(in a different way . . .)
Here are my top three lessons I've been challenged with my entire freakin' life:

  1. It is not good for me to put the needs of others before my own needs. I love myself first, and that allows me to love others from overflow.
  2. It is not good for me to rescue others to boost my own self-esteem and ensure that they don't leave me.
  3. It is not good for me to put up with others' unkind or abusive behavior towards me; it is awesome for me to set boundaries, and disengage and detach from people who do no treat me with respect.
Where are your patterns screaming at you?
Love you so much, peeps!
;) dana