Friday, May 31, 2013

MaKe Up a NeW sTorY!

hEy aMAzing yOu!

Remember a couple of months ago when I was blogging about the made-up STORIES we create in our minds about what other people think? (cuz, you all know we can't crawl up inside people's heads or read their minds) . . . and that we can choose NOT to believe the stories?


And also, that we don't have to listen to our gross, yucky, mean inner (s)ELF?--we can tell him or her to shut the front door and take a hike (or, in a more loving fashion, we could send your (s)ELF on an all-expenses paid vacation to Bermuda!) 


What if . . . (mind boggling thought coming on . . . disregard in advance if too scary. . .) the stuff we make up about what EVERYBODY thinks about us is actually the same stuff that we FEAR everybody thinks about us---and the same stuff that our mean inner (s)ELF beats us over the head about? (so, it's 
all actually, really, and truly about how we feel about ourselves... sorry! I know cuz I've been there, believe me!)


So, like, for example, other people are, like, YOUR personal big huge movie screen--and YOU project the scary stuff YOU feel about YOURself on their screens and view it, and go, 

"OMG! THEY (note you are not focusing on yourself here) are sOsOsoSo mean 
(or rude, or ______ fill in the blank), I can't believe they (note you are not focusing on yourself here) would think that about me!"


Hmnnn. . . and Yike-eys! What if it's always about you? and the meaning 
you put onto the people and things that happen to you in your life?


CrAP, dAnA--SOUNDS LIKE A LOT OF RESPONSIBILITY! . . . 


And that's the point. . . 

Go(o)D News and bAd nEws: You are in charge of you! You get to cReAtE yOuR liFe! Problem is, it's easier to blame others for what is going on, how we are feeling, and the general circumstances of our existence.
QUESTion: Would you rather be the hero(ine) of your own journey (in charge)? or, the victim (everybody does stuff TO you? ...so sad...)

Personally, I want to be the super sparkly heroine with the short yellow orange peel cape, the pink high-tops, and the yellow-dangly, multi-flowered tiara!


All bow down! nOw! (jK!)


lOvE and LuVe,

;) pRinCesS dAna

Thursday, May 30, 2013

Don't BE-LIeVE your thoughts!


“There is nothing either good or bad, 
but thinking makes it so.
~Shakespeare
Dear FunFreePeeples!
Well, guess what? Last night I woke up at 12:30 and never really got back to sleep. My mind was taking over my body,  . . . hELp!
ALIEN INVASION!
This is what happens when I actually listen to my thoughts and believe them--especially when they are negative or self-critical, or they have to do with my past or worry about my future . . . 
      they get bigger
                     and BIGGER
                             and BIGGER
until they literally take over my brain and body!
I have to remind myself that I am in charge of my own thoughts and beliefs. My perception of the outside world is nothing more than a projection of my inner world, my fears, doubts, struggles, my own darkness. Here's another amazing quote about our thoughts and feelings:

"You are not your mind, your emotions or the circumstances of your life.
You are the peaceful observer of your mind and emotions 
hat allows life circumstances to pass through and around you
for your evolution to finally come to a place of total acceptance of all that is.
Only the peaceful observer remains after all else fades away.
Only the peaceful observer in total acceptance of what is
can take action towards effectively changing anything.
You are only this peaceful observer--everything else is as fleeting as the blink of an eye, choose happiness and don't buy into it." 

- Jackson Kiddard
We can choose to blame the world for our unhappiness, and our our lack of abundance and inner peace. Happiness is our choice and our responsibility 'cuz ultimately we choose our own thoughts, our own beliefs, and our interpretation of our own life events. If we are too busy focusing our time and energy on what is wrong, we may be putting our attention to the wrong stuff, at the expense of what is right.
We can choose to see the many incredible things that take place everyday in our world, and appreciate the amazing relationships  in our lives. And, when we choose to accept all for WHAT IS, we can be at peace.

Which brings me back to (of course! you guessed it!)

ACCEPTANCE & GRATITUDE.

So, to get myself of my brain and thoughts, I am going to meditate and begin a gratitude practice by silently saying thank you to all that is in my day.

Thanks for reading! Hearts!
Dana 

Wednesday, May 29, 2013

BEinG VuLneRable is PeRfeCkt . . .

ShhHhh . . . prOmiSe nOt tO TeLL?

Dear FunFree(imperfecKt)Peeps,

Chloe was really distraught  one day ("Mom! Something's not perfect!"), and I was gently reminded (again) of the daunting nature of perfection. I looked around the room of my basement and I saw he artwork crumpled up in piles--markers and colored pencils strewn all over the floor. She'd had a fit of frustration because her art wasn't PERFECT.

YIKES.

I have had fits of perfection off and on all my life. Still do. As a matter of fact, something about my perfectionism has recently got my attention in a BIG WAY.

BACKSTORY: Sometimes, I like to manage my emotional life by keeping all the yucky stuff to myself; for example, when I'm struggling, sad, frustrated, overwhelmed, or anxious about anything, in particular--or about LIFE, in general. So, things build up . . . DUH . . . and then my feelings and fears end up spewing in a not-so-planful or pretty fashion. Not pretty. (Sorry, friends . . .)

And, I can't possibly get support from the people who love me if they don't know what's going on. The EGO part of me believes that it's better if people think I'm FINE and I can handle everything--like SUPERWOMAN, right?

Not.

So, I have made a commitment to myself and my loved ones to be more transparent about my TRUTH, knowing that sharing my pain or frustration does not make me needy, it does not mean I wish be rescued, and it doesn't make me a BURDEN or a VICTIM. 

It just IS.

I have felt a huge weight lifted from my heart by shedding a layer of my perfection, asking for a little time, and resting in the presence of loving friends who have listened with patience and compassion.

I am (im)perfeCktly human.

After all, amazing stuff as well as my wobbly spots are all part of what makes me, Me: Dana Lynne Curry . . . and I can't  celebrate the great stuff and hide the ISH . . . cuz' the ISH is what needs transformation and is the awesome Growing SPOT.

I need to shed light on ALL parts of me--and especially those scary wobbly parts of ME need to bask in the yummy light so they can be transform, heal, and re(a)l-ease. Get it?

Purple Nerple Love,
Dana Burger

Tuesday, May 28, 2013

Be Gr8TEFULL!

“There is a calmness to a life lived in gratitude, a quiet joy.”
Hey funfreemfollowers!
 
Hope this blog finds you in a hApPy space! I have been doing a lot of reading lately about living with a sense of awesome gratitude. 

Gratitude isn't really something we are taught to cultivate from an early age; as a matter of fact, with the media and pressure at school & work, we often compare ourselves to the made up information we create about what other people have (and it's usually more than what we've got, ain't it?)

I can remember when was a kid believing that a lot of times, ALL THE OTHER kids had all the GooD StufF--like cool clothes (which in my day was red-tag Levi's--we didn't dare wear the orange-tag Levi's!), parents who gave them everything, expensive shoes, awesome vacations, and the list goes on. On other words, I used to compare what I had to what others had, and feel like I never got my StuFF!

I know you are thinking OMG she must be SoOoooooOO oLD! But really now, times haven't changed that much . . . (although the shape and cost of the stuff has changed a lot . . .). 
  SUPER AWESOME IDEA:
instead of wondering 
where your stuff is? 
or 
instead of
expecting someone else to give it to you?
painful :( ],

do you ever
. . . pause. . . 
to be 
gRaTeFuL
for what you DO have, 
AWESOME! ;)]!

Hmmnnn . . . maybe we can switch our attention away from what is painful to what is awesome

I am so thankful for all of you!
With so much love and gratitude,
Dana

Thursday, May 23, 2013

Love U Just the Way YOU are . . .

go(o)D dAy, fReE pEEpS!

Last summer (after an amazing crazy slumber party), 5 of my daughters BfFs came into my room and wanted to wake up Chloe so she could go downstairs to plaY! They were all snuggled up in their blankies & jammies like little ducklings at the foot of my bed. 


My daughter, Chloe, had crawled in with me in the middle of the night, after I tested her blood sugar (I don't know if I have shared that she is diabetic--type 1). 

While my daughter was slowly waking up, one of her friends, Dascia, asked me, "Do wish Chloe didn't have diabetes? I mean, is it kind of hard to, like, take care of her?"

I thought for a split second, and I shared this with them:

"You know, it's might sound kinda strange, but I love Chloe exactly the way she is, and she knows that! I wouldn't want her to be any different than her amazing and beautiful self--and that includes her diabetes."

The girls looked a bit surprised, but they were listening really hard. 


I continued,

"And yeah, sometimes it's challenging, like if she doesn't feel well, or her blood sugar's high or low, but Chloe's really learned a lot about how to take care of herself, about her body, about nutrition, and about math . . . and a lot of other stuff, too. I think one of the most important things I can do as a mom is to love both of my kids just the way they are . . . everyday."

One night a few weeks later before bed, we were naming things we are thankful for, & Chloe said this in her prayer: 

"God, this might be weird, but I'm grateful for diabetes . . . I mean, 'cuz that's who I'm supposed to be."

Can you imagine? She's nine! It made me cry! 


Here's something else amazing she wrote when she was helping me with my blog ;)

God loves you awesomley and perfectley!! @##^%#$%^#$%# did I spell it wrong???? 
 yeah, i did. o well! 
I'm still a great gal even tho' i have d'b's (diabetes). 
DID U KNOW JOE JONAS HAS D'B'S? 
So yeah! bye bye!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 
I'm still  perfect just the way i am even though I have diabetes.  

So yeah.
Rock on if you have dbs! . . . or not!


What if we are all perfect just the way we are (no matter what our challenges are) and just right where we are in life--and grateful for ALL of it! 

hAve a beAutIfUL dAy, aLL!
;0) dana

Saturday, May 18, 2013

Pay it For(give)Ward!



"Forgiveness is the most powerful thing that you can do
for your physiology and your spirituality,
and it remains one of the least attractive things to us,
largely because our egos rule so unequivocally.
To forgive is somehow associated with saying that it is all right,
that we accept the evil deed.
But this is not forgiveness.
Forgiveness means that you fill yourself with love and you radiate that love outward
and refuse to hang onto the venom or hatred that was engendered
by the behaviors that caused the wounds.
Forgiveness is a spiritual act of love for yourself
and it sends a message to everyone, including yourself,
that you are an object of love and that that is what you are going to impart." 

Dr. Wayne W. Dyer 


Dear Fun & Free Ones,

Today I had sort of an aha! moment when I realized that after I learned to forgive others, I could then extend the same courtesy to myself . . . and forgive myself. As I thought about it, it felt kind of inside out, actually--but that's generally been my path: living from the outside:in for a good part of my existence. 

Knowing that pattern of mine, I can actually be grateful for the pains I've experienced, because they taught me how to forgive others and release my resentent,which in turn taught my forgiveness and acceptance of ME--for all my imperfections, for not knowing the right thing to do or say, for not being good enough, for hurting people I love. I was always doing the best I could with the skills I had at the moment; I just didn't realize it at the time.

So today I'll write a bit @ forgiveness

TOP SECRET: It's not about the person you're forgiving; it's about you and your own freedom. And, just so you know, that doesn't make right the crappy stuff that people have done. Pain is part of life, and so is forgiveness, release, and acceptance. And, thankfully, so is JOY! What I am saying, is it's our choice what we do with our pain.

Holding onto resentment is like 
holding your breath 
-- only you suffocate. 

@ DeepakChopra

And often it takes time before we are ready and willing to let go of resentment and actually forgive others. And, (I've learned this the hard way)--just because we're sorry, doesn't mean someone else wants to necessarily forgive us --in which case, the work is for us to forgive ourselves.

I know people who have been in pain, drama, and in victim mode  FOREVER! I used to be there, too! And finally, I got sick of it . . . sick of feeling terrible, tired of my same old victim story, and I eventually had to choose to shift or die a slow spiritual deathAt one point in my life, I began to run--a lot (which begs the question: What was I running from?). I ran . . . and ran . . . and ran. I was burdened, stressed out, burned out, sad, and exhausted & one morning, as  I turned onto my running course, I found a 15 pound rock (actually, it found me). Something nudged me to pick it up . . . and guess what? I ran 3 miles carrying that 15 lb. rock! When I was  done, I put down the rock, and I felt so very light!

That's what forgiveness does.
It frees us.
It makes us lighter.
It means we quit judging others
and making them "wrong" so our egos can be "right", "superior",
and 
ALL
THAT!
(and it takes the pressure off . . .)

It's easier to stay stuck in being mad, right, resentful, offended, or disgusted by someone else's behavior--which conveniently takes the focus off of ourselves, right? And - - it's only suffocating to the person who chooses to hold his or her breath, in Chopra's words. 

Can you forgive yourself or someone else today? 
Let me know in the comments!

Much LoVe!

OXOXOX Dana

Thursday, May 16, 2013

It'S MoMMy & ChLoE TiMe !

Mommy & Chloe Time . . .
05.16.13.
Dear Peeps!

I had such a special opportunity today to spend some one-on-one time with my daughter, Chloe. Her brother, Max, is in Chicago on a field trip for the next few days, so we decided to have an adventure together today after school (I have to admit that I took a nap first). 

We went to the Salon and got pedicures together. Chloe and I sat side-by-side in massage chairs and we read fashion magazines and exchanged stories from the day--mine at my school where I teach 8th grade, and Chloe's in her 3rd grade class. Chloe went to do a service project with her teacher today at Feed My Starving Children and I continued to teach my 8th graders a compare and contrast essay, and I introduced the language of poetry to them in a short presentation. Max was off on the coach to Chicago at 7 o'clock this morning on a band field trip adventure--his first overnight trip out-of-state, away from both Mom and Dad (rumor has it that Max and Chloe were both looking forward to a break from each other!). 

After we got our toes done, Chloe and I went down the street to Hello Pizza--the newest and greatest venue in the hood. It was yummy! Chloe had amazing cheese pizza and I had a tri-color salad--we both topped off our meal with a soft-serve cone with homemade dark-chocolate sauce. The best part was we got to sit next to a family with two twin boys who were Chloe's age; we chatted about school, Minecraft, summertime activities, and zombies (true!?).

Anyway, it was great spending special time with Chloe--and I will make a point of doing it more often with each of my beautiful kids; it gives them the message that I care enough to make time to be present with them alone, and that's an important message from me as their mom.

How do you help your kids feel special? We all need ideas for that! Share your experiences and ideas on the blog . . .

Blessings,
Dana

Monday, May 13, 2013

Got Commitment?


“Ninety-nine percent commitment is not possible.
We are either 100 percent or not committed at all.
I was amazed to discover this, because I had made a lifestyle
out of tepid commitments that turned out to be non-commitments. 


I was just conning myself that I was partly committed.


I had adapted to the pain of early rejection with the decision ‘Don’t play.’

If I didn’t play, I wouldn’t have to face losing.
And if I were forced to play, I could always play halfheartedly.
If I lost, I could say it didn’t matter, because I wasn’t trying.

It took me many years to realize that I wasn’t even in the game if I was not committed.
My body might have been out on the field, but my soul was on the bench.
Soulless play is worse than no play at all.”

 ~ Gay Hendricks from Conscious Living


Dear Peeps;

Just to let you know that I am guest blogging today at The Daily Love, so check it out and leave a comment; I'd really appreciate it. The blog is about when my daughter, Chloe, and I were caught smack dab in the rain one day--and we celebrated it!

What are you 100% committed to? Can you name some things that hold your complete dedication? I personally have dabbled in a lot of things throughout my life; I really didn't realize it until one of my mentors, Mastin Kipp, encouraged me to ask myself this question: 

Are you a dabbler or a master?

The difference between the two for me is a matter of commitment, which brings me the idea of perfection. One of the things that has prevented me from mastery is my tendency to make the expectations for myself so high so that I set myself up for failure. And then I have told myself, "Screw it!" and quit whatever it is I attempted to commit myself to. This is a very convenient, albeit unconscious, excuse to perpetuate bad habits, self-defeating behaviors, unhealthy relationships, and poor self-esteem. It's also a self-destructive, self-perpetuating cycle.

In the segment from Hendricks' book, she describes the manner by which we con ourselves BEFORE we even get on the playing field. The good news is, that once we are aware of this pattern in ourselves, we can take a step back and observe ow this pattern has served to protect us from our fears--ond only then can we move through it to the other side . . . with commitment to what we have to change that will serve our highest Go(o)d.

In the past few years, I've made some large commitments, mostly to myself:
  • to speak my truth to the best of my ability
  • to care for myself in spirit, mind, and body
  • to evolve and grow, and surround myself with others who are on this path
  • to be honest with myself
  • to live a life full of love, gratitude, service, and generosity
  • to love myself and set boundaries in relationships, work, and expectations 
What have you committed yourself to? Leave a comment and share your story!

Lots of Love,
Dana

Saturday, May 11, 2013

Happiness . . .


“Thousands of candles can be lit from a single candle,
and the life of the candle will not be shortened.
Happiness never decreases by being shared.” 

-Gautama Buddha
GoodDay funandfreePeePs;

You might remember that last summer I wrote my Personal Codes of Truth; they are about me taking back my power and listening my Universal guidance everyday. I never knew that guidance is inside my heart and my gut--when I can get quiet enough to listen to it! That's actually helped me become more independent and responsible because I've learned I can't blame others for my reality, my relationships, my stories, or my choices. My happiness depends on ME!
****************************************************************************************
Here's a cool piece about hApPiNeSs:

Tell everyone you know:
"My happiness depends on me,
so you're off the hook."
And then demonstrate it.
Be happy, no matter what they're doing.
Practice feeling good, no matter what.
And before you know it,
you will not give anyone else responsibility for the way you feel-and then, you'll love them all.
Because the only reason you don't love them,
is because you're using them as your excuse to not feel good. 


~Esther Hicks, speaker and author
*********************************************************************************
Like the quote says above, I get to choose where my energy and attention goes! Personally, I prefer the good stuff to the crap, and that means appreciating what's right in front of me. For example, 
  • right now I am eating one of my favorite treats--a delicious, icy coconut popsicle!--how lucky am I
  • and, I get to go to my son's play Godspell tonight--life is good!--
  • and, I'm doing one of my favorite activities--writing to all of you! what could be better
  • and, I got a fabulous text from my daughter, Chloe, that said: "Sup yo this is Chloe I love you so much you are the best mom in the whole world I love you. It's cool"--that's the awesomest message a mom could ever get!
  • I am teaching in my classroom, and I triple-diple LOVE my job and my students!
  • it's Mother's Day on Sunday, so I get to write love letters to my own Mom AND to my kids, telling them what an awesome honor it is to be Chloe and Max's mom! 
Good thing I'm paying attention to all the yummy  juicy great stuff in front of me! I'm learning so much right now--in life, business school, relationships, and well, in everything!

I personally believe we all have a birthright to be amazingly happy---life doesn't have to be dramatic and hard all the time (although we all have our ups and downs...). Just remember that when it gets tough, we can come out the other side if we choose to learn from the crappy stuff.

How do you stay in your happy place? Leave an amazing comment or story and let me know!

BuCkeTs o' LoVe!
;0)  dana

Friday, May 10, 2013

yOuR LifE rOcKs!

It's not that your life totally rocks, Dana Lynne,
except for a few tricky spots, slippery patches, and challenges.

But that your life totally rocks, in large part,

because of the tricky spots, slippery patches, and challenges.
Stranger than fiction,
 The Universe
Dear Peeps;

Did you know that your life rocks even though it can get tricky sometimes? AND that the tricky spots actually make you life better because they teach us stuff? I mean, think about it--can you remember something that seemed really hard, risky, and downright scary at the time, only to realize now that it's exactly what you needed to get where you are now?

As many of my mentors have said: It's not about what happens TO us . . . it's about what happens FOR us, and the meaning we assign to those events, relationships, and circumstances.

And this notion brings me back to the fifth barrier to peace--We don't trust . . . yet--as written by Eckhart Tolle (see last week's PEACE series for more about these ideas). When we trust in the UNiverse, we know deep down that what is happening is fro our highest good, even though it may not be fun, or peaceful, or exactly what we think we need. But, as Tolle further suggests:


“Life will give you whatever experience is most helpful
for the evolution of your consciousness.
How do you know this is the experience you need?
Because this is the experience you are having 
at the moment.”

~Eckhart Tolle


The interesting thing about this idea, is that if I believe everything is happening for the evolution of MY consciousness, it also follows that everything is happening for the evolution of EVERYONE ELSE'S consciousness, as well--

Hmnnn . . . I guess I'm not in charge of other people, or passing judgement on what they choose to do or say, or how they choose to operate in this lifetime. Just as I am right where I need to be, so are they. We are all on our own trajectory of learning, on our own evolutionary timelines.

Does this mean we need to allow people to "just be themselves," even if they are abusive or they don't have our bests interests in mind? Nope; that's not the point--but we don't have to hate on them. We can learn to set boundaries with these individuals, detach from them with compassion (or not, sometimes!), and simply turn our energy in the direction of those people who have what we want, and focus on those relationships which serve us and give us energy. 

This practice of setting boundaries with people who don't treat me with respect has certainly been one of MY greatest lessons . . . and guess what? They keep repeating the same disrespectful behavior as long as I have allowed it. Hmnnn . . . now THAT'S about ME.

What have you learned on your journey lately? Leave us a comment and share your experience!

Lots of Love!
Dana

Friday, May 3, 2013

Be in Your Present!


It's an interesting journey!
hEy tHere!

Isn't this a coOL picture! I lOvE it! . . . so, we have to finally reach a point where we break free from our past and step into love for ourselves. 

After all, we have to LOVE oUrSelves b4 we can love and give to others, right? When I look at this amazing picture, I can see that it's pretty dang dark! and cloudy, too (SPOOKY!) almost like a storm has just passed . . . 

YIKEYS!@$!@@!@%$!#!
TAKE COVER!
SURRENDER DOROTHY!

oh, and here's the Go(o)d news:

in this picture, the sun is right ahead of me, reaching down with her amazing sun-ray-beams (made up word) of light . . .
and,
 . . . I can see the light ahead!
and (extra bonus!)
. . . I can actually SEE the road (metaphor: my path). yAy!

p.s. I'm not always sure where the road leads, but at least I can see a few feet in front of me . . . thanks Universe!

Love the Journey!
dana

TOP SECRET INFORMATION: I have actually been losing a lot of sleep lately cuz' I keep worrying about stuff I can't control. I lie awake at night and practice deep belly breathing to try to get back to sleep. I need to dream & LET GO!

Thursday, May 2, 2013

You Will Love and Be(Loved)!


***********************************************************
The evolution of all spiritual life,
Dana Lynne,
includes 3 absolutes:

1. You will love.
 
2. You will be loved.
 
3. The former will eventually be 
far more important to you than the latter. 

Grasshopper,
 

The Universe
***********************************************************
GuEsS wHaT? The LoVe is in you! I used to think that the love I needed was going to come from someone outside myself (and it very often does, and that's a huge bOnUs!), but when I want to feel love, I have to remember that I have to love me first!

If something's missing in my life, it's missing 'cuz I am NOT GIVING IT TO MYSELF (. . . and, at first, that totally stinks to realize because it means that we have to STOP complaining about everybody else not giving us what we need, and figure out how to give it to ourselves . . . which is actually un-sucky, and powerful in a cool way...)

FYI: just want you to know that at first, this idea really bugged me, cuz it meant that I was in charge (and I had to stop blaming others for me!), but, at the same time, the good news is that I AM IN CHARGE . . . of ME! And, why would we want to give our sUpErPoWerS away, anyway? (so we can stay "victimized" and not take responsibility? hmmnnnn . . . sounds miserable!) 



. . . which leads me back to the fact that we are in charge of our own stories and our own hApPiNeSs. Here's a cool grownup blogger who has some ideaS:


Seems kind of weird that in order to receive love, we have to love, but it has to start with us loving ourselves before we can love others. What's important is that we love ourselves, and then we love others with no expectations.We just love because it feels good . . . and right . . . and true. For me, I know that I am loving, and to keep myself from being loving or restrict myself from being loving feels very difficult, really tough . . . and well, NOT ME.

Love is always bestowed as a gift –
freely, willingly and without expectation.
We don’t love to be loved;
we love to love.

~Leo Buscaglia

ALL is WELL! ALL is LoVe . . .

;) dana