Thursday, April 30, 2015

bE PreSeNt!


Seems like so many of us spend our energy wishing for things to be different. Do you? Personally, this habit has robbed me of being present for some pretty big chunks of my life.

The way I can tell that I'm intensely present is when I actually stop noticing the passage of
time; Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi calls this "optimal state" FLOW (and he wrote a book by the
same name!). 

If I'm not present, not in the present moment, I can generally be found up in my head, making up stuff. 

It's pretty L(one)Ly up there, now that I mention it.

It may seem simple to get out your head, but to me, it has taken some very deliberate noticing on my part of where (up in my brain?) and when (in the past or future?) I AM with respect to what's right in front of me. 

Many times, I will notice that I'm not at all present, and so I enter my surroundings and intentionally interact with what's in front of me. Sometimes I even have to NAME STUFF to get out of my head: 

"There is a tree, I can feel my feet stepping in the grass, I am breathing in . . . I am breathing out . . ."

And guess what? 

TIME DROPS OFF, AND I CAN GET OUT OF MY HEAD AND BACK ONTO THE PLANET EARTH. 

It's nice on this earthly plane; I believe I'll try to be here more . . .

Big Love ;)
Dana


Wednesday, April 29, 2015

MOM! Something's NOT pErFect!


Hey All--

Something very interesting happened to me today. I was in the shower with the (albeit clear) shower door closed as well as the bathroom door closed (which means my kids are suposed to let me have "Mom time"), and my daughter rushed in through the door and knocked on the (CLEAR GLASS) shower. Awkward. I don't think it's appropriate for my kids to see me naked, even though we're family.

Anyway, she was panicked. She pounded on the glass. "Mom!" she gestured for me to clear the steam from the shower glass.

"What? It's Mommy's private shower time! I'll be out in a minute."

"Mom!" she gestured for me to clear the steam from the shower glass, AGAIN. I cleared the steam.

"Mom!" (she was very distraught). "Mom!" she urged. "Something's not perfect!" My daughter, Chloe, was crying.

"Honey, I need to finish my shower and I'll be right there, okay?" I rushed to the TV room and everything was thrown EVERYWHERE.

Chloe was so frustrated. I know that feeling.

I know what it's like to try to be perfect, and I, myself, have thought that if I did everything perfectly, people would approve of me, or like me more. (Have you every been around someone who acts like they are perfect? . . . I actually find people who act perfect quite annoying and humorous . . . and I am sometimes THAT girl) . . . yikes.

So being perfect was a way for me to feel in control. Perfection comes in many disguises, like, for example:

  • being the perfect student
  • being the perfect son/daughter
  • being the perfect athlete/singer/actress/_______fill in blank (no fouls, strikes, warnings,wrong notes or lines etc.)
  • having a perfect body (eating disorder warning)
  • looking perfect
  • kissing butt to people so they like you 
  • making others dependent on you . . .
Being perfect is SOSOSOSOSOS stressful . . . and WE DO IT TO OURSELVES. Nobody else does it TO us. Anyway, so that leaves us with being (im)PerFeCKT! Hmn...

It's actually kind of a relief . . . takes the pressure off, and then we can just breathe, be hu(wo)man, and love ourselves even MORE. 
I personally love being a dork and I want to remind you that (im)PerfeCkT is the new PerfeCKt!

BTW: Who else can be perfekctly you? NO-BODY!

You R the grace of Go(O)D-(NESS)!

;) Dana

Tuesday, April 28, 2015

drEaM bIG, mY LoVe . . .


Dreams come true, Dana Lynne, that's what they do.
The only variable is when.

For the slow approach: Resist. Attach. Insist. Deny. Stop. Second guess.

Whine. Argue. Defend. Protest. Cry. Struggle. And ask others, when you

know the answer yourself.

For the quick approach: Visualize. Pretend. Prepare. Dodge. Roll. Serpentine.

Do not waiver over intentions, but over methods. Show up, even when nothing

happens. And give thanks in advance.

You knew that,
The Universe

Remember when you were a kid and the entire world was your playground and EVERYTHING was a delicious possibility?  . . . when you wanted to save the whales, rule the planet, and invent candy that grew from trees?

Remember the crazy s#!t you used to dream about? . . . when everything was magical and new?

Guess what? . . . it still is. 
Nothing changed, except you grew up and forgot about the magic.

It's time to grow back 
d
    o
        w
            n
and reclaim your place among the stars.

I challenge you to remember your dreams as a child, write them down, and begin to believe in them again: 

Visualize. Pretend. Prepare. 
Dodge. Roll. Serpentine. 
Do not waiver over intentions, but over methods. 
Show up, even when nothing happens. 
And give thanks in advance.

Love from the dreamtime!
Dana

Monday, April 27, 2015

pUt Ur fAce 2 the sUn! Ur shAdoW wILL bE bE(hInD)


 "If you put your face to the sun,
your shadow will always be behind you." 

Needless to say, we all have trouble putting our fears and hurts behind us. We like to wear our hurt and pain (sometimes) like wAr badges...and we bond with others who will join us in feeding on our past hurts and emotions.
If we know that life is uP and Down, we can learn to roll with the punches and be grateful for our lessons, even when they cloak themselves in crappy situations, relationships, or events.


Dr. Seuss was a genius about this!
Here is a video that tells the story of
 "oH! The pLacEs you'LL gO!" 
and it shows life's uPs and dOwnS!



RemEMbEr: wE are handed what we are ready for, and even if it feels like cRap-oLa, there are LeSSonS in eVerYthInG! (thanks, You-niverse!)
Thing is, that we just need to go with it, and be present with what iS. Like I said yesterday. . . we may not know the reason why something is happening . . .but we can know that the You-niverse has Ur back, and if we trUst, we'll know the answer in the (You-niverse's) time . . .
Lottsa love!
;) dana

Sunday, April 26, 2015

Love UrSeLf . . .

Hey FreEple!

So it's really time for my to get used to spending time with me, taking care of and loving mySelF, trUsting (me)self, and listening to my gut. 
I don't know about you, yo--but I have spent a HUGE amount of time and energy saying yes all my life...to stuff I didn't really want to do in my GUT.
We humans tend to do this out of fear, like, for example, here's what we think in our silly melon-heads:
If I don't __________(fill in the blank). . . then (here comes the made up storysomeone might:
  • be mad at me
  • not like me
  • be disappointed 
  • I might miss out
  • everybody else is doing it
  • I won't be popular
Do you want to make your decisions and live your life based on fear of outside stuff (which you are actually making up in your head and which probably will NEVER happen), or do you want to trUst your gUt, say NO (or He##-no!) which means you are also saying YES to yoU and basing your decisions on lOvE and trUst of Ur inside stuff (Ur gut)!

That's what it means to put the in trUst. In the groWn uP world, we call this setting boundaries. It's kinda like claiming your territory as a person who gets to choose what feels right for U firmly (and sometimes gently) but with NO apologies. 

BTWU can't say yes to others unless U say it to U first, yo (U)!
Just sayin'! 

Can I get a WOOT-WOOT?!

Love (me first), and then lOvE U--- sosososos mUch!

:) Ur sEcReT aDmiRer, 
dAna

p.s. how do U take care of U? Let me know in the comments . . .

Saturday, April 25, 2015

GoT vIbRaTiON?

"A belief is only a thought you continue to think.
A belief is nothing more than a chronic pattern of thought,
and you have the ability --
if you try even a little bit--
 to begin a new pattern, to tell a new story, 
to achieve a different vibration,
to change your point of attraction."
--Esther Hicks 

Dear FunFreeSeekers--

Happy SpringTime!!
Yesterday I was listening to a CD from Esther Hicks called "Ask & it Will be Given." It is about energy and The Law of Attraction, which basically holds that whatever we put out into the Universe as a vibrational state comes back to us. I was really grateful to be reminded that we all have a natural state of well-being, and we can choose to either resist or allow that natural state.

It also discussed that we can gauge how connected we are to Source by our emotions; in other words, the better we feel, the more in alignment we are with the Yes!, the I AM. So we can watch with detachment our emotions like a guidance system. We also can listen (with detachment) to our thoughts, which are our vibration--the point of attraction.

So (this is totally mind-boggling), if we want to attract something different in our lives, the place to start is by changing our thoughts! And, if we are having resistant thoughts, we can change them to from resisting to allowing.

Wow. I think I have been seeing this backwards for much of my life. 

As Hicks puts it (paraphrased): 

We look our whole lives to control our outside surroundings and attach ourselves to what we observe; we think that when we have __________, we will finally feel better. The reality is that our natural state of well-being is always available to us because we can learn to CHOOSE better feeling thoughts to feel better--before  our negative vibration manifests in the world in the physical form. These are the processes we must pay attention to consciously if we wish to become intentional, deliberate creators.

We must awaken.
We must shed our unconsciousness.
We must raise our collective vibration. 

In Gabrielle Bernstein's newest book May Cause Miracles, guess what she writes about? Energy

Here are some of her words:

"Your body is a molecular structure that is always vibrating energy. That energy is positive when thoughts are positive, and it is negative when your thoughts are negative. Our energy fields are like magnets; they attract their likeness. Therefore, if your energy is negative . . . guess what? You're attracting negativity into your life. [ . . . ] The miracle-minded approach shows you how to shift your thoughts and energy, thereby attracting positivity into your life."
Bernstein, May Cause Miracles, p. 7

So, whatever energy we put out into the Universe in the form of thoughts comes back to us in the original state--in the same form of energy. Ask yourself:

Can you shift your vibration from negative states to focus more intentionally on service, gratitude, forgiveness, and love?

Can't wait to hear from you!
Lots of love,
Dana

Friday, April 24, 2015

WhOLeHeaRteD fUn!

Dear Readers;

When I was walking today with one of my besties, we were brainstorming about well, life in general. We decided that we would like to eat good food and enjoy ourselves--that simple!
We were thinking about some ways we could have wholehearted fun (instead of dropping down into drama). 

Here's an initial list of what we came up with:
  • go to a bookstore
  • learn to sew with a sewing machine
  • play double solitaire
  • take a walk in nature
  • go to Valleyfair (amusement park)
  • cook delicious food
  • go canoeing
  • write a love note and send it snail-mail
  • color with sparkly pens and smelly markers
  • attend a yoga class
How do you have wholehearted fun?
Leave a comment and share on the BLOG!
Hearts!
Dana

Thursday, April 23, 2015

wHo'S on Ur tEaM? . . . (cont'd)

Are yoU a-Lone(r) or R U on a TeAm?

I had an opportunity of watching a hockey game today. I don't speak hockey, but I'm learning . . . 

It made me think more about the idea of being on a team . . . whatever that means. It could be a family team, a sports team, a work team, a parenting team, or a team of _______ (fill in the blank 4 u!). 

Sometimes, we think it's easier to do stuff by ourselves . . . like, as in, we have a lot more CONTROL, right? I know for me, when I do stuff by myself, I do feel more in control, but I ALSO feel more alone.

Sometimes, it's not easy asking for help. But you know what I've found? People TOTALLY want to help me when I need it---just like I love helping others!

And then, I don't feel so alone.

I think we're all supposed to keep looking and searching (or praying and being patient . . .) until we find our team . . . our TRIBE . . .our PeePs.

I can't imagine watching hockey or soccer and expecting that a single player is supposed to win the game. As my bff says, you can have individual skills, but it's the strategy of being a team player that wins the game. 

It's about WORKING TOGETHER---AND, maybe it's really not about winning after all. It's about doing your best, and working with the players (get the metaphor?) who are in front of you.

AND, that means you have to GIVE UP CONTROL (of the puck, the ball, or whatever . . .) and passing it to someone else, trust that your teammate will support you. You may not win but WHATEVER, yo!

So, who are the sweet, sweet members of your team? Be grateful for them, and the lessons they teach! A personal thanks to all the members of my team! We are a winning combination! I am blessed for your presence in my life!

YOU ARE NOT ALONE! WE ARE ONE!

Hearty-heartS!
Dana

Wednesday, April 22, 2015

trUst Ur hEaRt!

HeY tHerE!

My daughter Chloe made this heart one morning when she was getting stuff together to make a rOcKeT sHiP! Hearts show up a lot for me--in nAtUrE, and, well, everywhere! It reminds me that there's enough love to go around.

Since I've lived up in my head for so long, it's not so easy to get used to listening to my heart (even though I am a heart person . . . ). 

It's like I've shut off a part of myself, and when I am feeling something it's like I'm meeting someone who is vaguely familiar.

My first instinct when I have a feeling,
is to think about it and understand it, 
and then
                                                          tALk mYsElF oUt oF iT!

(like feelings can be reasoned with . . . duh), instead of just allowing myself to feel whatever's in my heart. My BFF reminds me when I have a feeling or hunch about something:
"DoN'T oVeRtHinK iT . . ."

Here's another thing I've noticed . . . (super secret . . .). Sometimes, when I have super yummy amazing and awesome feelings like LoVE, happiNess, or excitement . . . I also go up into my head and sometimes do the same . . .

tALk mYsElF oUt oF iT!
or question it 'cuz I'm afraid of 
trusting the feeling . . .

 I'm practicing feeling it all, and just letting it be . . . whatever it is . . . I'm glad I let myself feel sad, and I'm glad I let the tears come when I need to . . . I am also still facing fears . . . and now when I feel, it won't be so scary. 

Thanks, Universe! I'm so glad I can trust the lessons You are preparing especially FOR me!

Lots of LovE!
;0) Dana

Oh Hey Dar.
It's Chloe. Yes. The amazing girl that this amazing woman talks about. No photography please. So like, yeah. I like Starbucks, going shopping (srsly, I can't stop), singing (I am alot better at singing now that I look back at my web-screen "music videos"), school, and math.
Toodles!
C=Dog

Tuesday, April 21, 2015

goT bRaVe?

hEy tHeRe!
fEeLiNg BraVe!? Yesterday, I wrote about taking risks and being supported and caught by the You-Niverse. Scary? Not really ('cuz the You-niverse will catch you . . . remember?)
It's GO TIME!
You probably know by now that I don't really believe in coincidence, right? And that everything happens for us (not To us!...) for a reason---but we might not be able to see it at the time 'cuz we have a limited perspective.
That means we can trUst in our gUt and hEarT and act with courage!!!!
Have you ever heard of a random act of kindness? Well, I tripple-dipple-double-dare you to do a random act of courage in the next couple of days! Here are some ideas:

  • tell someone how you feel
  • try something you have always wanted to try
  • stick up for someone who is being bUgGeD by other kids (super act of courage)
  • start a conversation with someone you don't know
Here's a video from
SouLPanCakE
(of the Oprah Winfrey Network) 
where some strangers got together 
and found some really cool stuff in common!


(btw, i have a confession . . . 
i am kind of shy with grOwN uPs! 
Ssshhhhhhhhhh . . . don't tell anyone!)

I don't know about you, but I would be really brave to get into a (random) ball pit with a stranger and start a conversation! Remember when I said that everything happens for a reason? Did you notice that the strangers found amazing and beautiful connections with each other?
Hmmnnnnn . . . cOiNcIdeNcE? . . . NOT!

OpEn yOurselF up to the mAgic, yo! It's everywhere!
Just sayin'!@

loVe sQuAreD!
;) dana

Monday, April 20, 2015

Be Like a Tree!

"Praise and blame, gain and loss,
pleasure and sorrow come and go like the wind.
To be happy,
rest like a giant tree, in the midst of them all."

Buddha
Dear Readers;

Above you can see an amazingly majestic tree that sits outside our lake place. I have sat many times out on the patio in the mornings with a hot cup of coffee admiring this tree and meditating on its greatness.

I have been adopting trees for much of my life.

Here's what I know about trees:
  • they bend with the wind; they do not resist.
  • they rejoice in the rain, and feel nourished by the elements.
  • there is enough sun for all trees; they do not need to compete for the sun . . . abundance is everywhere.
  • they continually reach and grow.
  • their tops waver with the crazy wind, and as they are flexible, they are alive; when they are no longer flexible, they break, wither, and die.
  • this cycle is all natural; it's the plan for trees.
  • there are many different species of trees, and they do not argue about the superiority of one tree to another; they coexist.
  • trees are super amazingly strong.
 I grew up with trees. Trees framed my existence. I saw their waving, shiny leaves like hands clapping for me as a young women . . . and later in life, as well.

As a child, I looked to trees in the night, to their shadows to bring me both comfort and terror. 

Many trees, we know, have deep and lasting roots. And those that do not, are at the whim of the wind and the elements. They are uprooted and then they die. And it's okay. It's a letting go. And, that's as it should be.

But we do not need to attach sadness or loss here; it is as it should be. It is all perfect.

I want to have deep, lasting roots--roots that keep me present and strong with myself, and with the people I love.

I want to embrace the being of tree . . . large, majestic, and strong---but also beautiful, fancy, and fluttering.

Trees
I think that I shall never see 
A poem lovely as a tree. 

A tree whose hungry mouth is prest 
Against the earth's sweet flowing breast; 

A tree that looks at God all day, 
And lifts her leafy arms to pray; 

A tree that may in summer wear 
A nest of robins in her hair; 

Upon whose bosom snow has lain; 
Who intimately lives with rain. 

Poems are made by fools like me, 
But only God can make a tree.

Sunday, April 19, 2015

fEeL yOuR cOoL rAiN . . .


This morning I awakened to a soft rain. I take this as an invitation for taking good, slow care of myself today. How will you take care of yourself today?
Today, I commit to:
  • meditating
  • going for a healthy-paced run
  • taking a nap
  • writing my blog
  • journaling
  • taking a salt bath
  • spending time present with my children
  • eating delicious food
  • hugging people I love
  • forgiving someone
  • smiling at a stranger
  • calling a friend
  • reading a prayer
  • planting in my garden
  • listening to a mantra
Blessing my life!
Dana

Saturday, April 18, 2015

serV(i)ce . . .

"I hEaRt sErvIcE"
Hey All!
Here're 10 ways to serve others that are all super duper easy and require almost nO-tHing!
  1. give everyone you encounter a genuine smile . . .
  2. do a random act of kiNdness-it feels amazing!
  3. write someone you knOw a LOVe lettEr!
  4. pUt a stIckEr on Ur forEhEaD!
  5. buy the person behind you in in line their cofFee!
  6. gIve someonE a wonderful, genuine cOmpLImenT!
  7. sHare Your icE cReAm!
  8. gIve yoUr friEnd a frUit sNacK!
  9. aLLow someone to pass u in traffIc without getting aLL EMO  (send them LovE!)
  10. randomly dAncE in Public . . . just 'cuz!
How do you serve? Leave me a comment and let me know!

Super Duper Love STuff!
Dana

Friday, April 17, 2015

fun & free 2 feeL it aLL . . . (part 4)

AmAzING nAturE!
DeAr funfreePps!

After a couple of weeks of going through some tough emotions, I have been blogging a bit about feelings. Earlier this week I shared a vid from TheChopraWell describing 7 steps we can take to get rid of gross, unpleasant, toxic feelings. Here's a RaInBoW recap of the steps from the vid:  
  1. Take responsibility for your present emotions
  2. Witness what you are feeling
  3. Label your feelings
  4. Express your feelings
  5. Share your feelings with someone you trust
  6. Release toxic emotions through a ritual
  7. Celebrate the release of the feelings

The past couple of days, I shared some thoughts about the first 5 steps (see the earlier blog for my experiences & take on them!). So, today, I'll give some feedback on steps 6, & 7--these are the ones I believe we often forget. Here goes: 

6. Release toxic emotions through a ritual: this helps us let go and move on. How many of us hold onto past pain and resentment 'cuz it helps up feel better thanright (and THEY'RE wrong), stuck, a victim, or paralyzed. If we don't release our feelings, it only hurts us. I personally love doing rituals, and I'll blog more about some ideas tomorrow. . .

7. Celebrate the release of the feelings: This is kind of a continuation of the ritual, but in a more positive, grateful, "I'm gonna move on" type of way. It is also a way to honor and claim your emotional process, forgive yourself and others, and give yourself a hug &  

A BIG ROUND OF APPLAUSE!

So, after watching this video, I am thinking that what I have left off the process of feeling my feelings has to do with the last 2 steps Chopra describes: the release ritual & the celebration of release--maybe nOt taking care of these last 2 steps is what left me with the
                                  OvER
                           hAng 
 of left over emotion. Since they both have to do with rituals (and I am ALL ABOUT the RiTuALs), I can't wait to write some more thoughts about that tomorrow--
So grateful to be growing with you!

LotS & lOts of LuV!
:o) dana

Thursday, April 16, 2015

feEL iT 2 B fRee . . . (part 3)

it'll aLL mAke SeNse sOOn . . . 

wELL heLLo tHeRe!
Earlier in the week, the video from TheChopraWell (click on it if you haven't already watched it!) gave us 7 things to do to get rid of crappy overwhelm-ish gross feelings. The steps are:  
  1. Take responsibility for your present emotions
  2. Witness what you are feeling
  3. Label your feelings
  4. Express your feelings
  5. Share your feelings with someone you trust
  6. Release toxic emotions through a ritual
  7. Celebrate the release of the feelings
Yesterday I gave my translation of the first 3 steps. Here's my take on the 4th and 5th steps:

4. Express your feelings: this step can be done with a chum or alone (I used to rip phone books, scream into a pillow, or hit a punching bag when I was mad, for example). A friend of mine also used to do PUSH UPS, and YELL in his car! When I was sad, I used to throw myself on the floor and weep (especially after my dad and later, my brother, died) or crawl into a ball of bawling or a hEaP of tears :( . . . Sometimes pets or stuffed animals can be awesome listeners ('cuz they lick or sop up your tears!) and they won't tell you what to do or give you advice. If you don't have a person to talk to, a diary or journal will do. Prayers to the Universe or maybe to a Higher Power (whatever yours may be!) are also a great idea . . . as a matter of fact, some of my most enlightening conversations over the years have been with God . . .

5. Share your feelings with someone you trustthis is important 'cuz then we don't feel so alone. I have been known in the past to share feelings in hopes of manipulating others into feeling sorry for me or taking care of me--nOt PoWeRfUL & NoT a GoOd ideA (we really have to learn self-care around healing our emotional states)-- or even worse, I have shared my feelings with someone who was toxic and made me feel worse. It's bad enough that I shame myself, Or, they argue with me for how I feel or tell me not to feel that way . . . P.S. one of my besties told me that it really helps to ask your friend to just listen and let you vent without trying to solve it--that way s/he knows what they're geting into and what's expected!

Whew! We're almost through to the last step. Secretly, I realized that the reason I have still felt a bit crapp-ish is that I didn't really finish the last two steps--super important for letting go of the yucky stuff with 
aBsOluTeLy nO tUrNinG bAcK!
Tomorrow, we'll check out the last two, and I'll figure out a release ritual and celebration! Wooooooooo Hoooooooooo! cAn'T wAiT!

tOOdlEs & tOOtS!
;0) dAnA