Sunday, May 31, 2015

We are perfect . . .

"Perfect: 2" 2011, acrylic on canvas, 8" x 10"
David Culveramazing artist

I think we all struggle with trying to be "perfect" from time to time; but isn't it true that some of us actually make it a full time job?
(...I feel sTreSs coming on just writing that!).
Do you feel like you have to be
perfect?
Do you expect others to be
perfect?
What does that mean, anyway?

I see kids in my classes every day who have a tough time being anything less than perfect. This looks different depending on the kid:
  • Some kids are so stressed about being "perfect" that they show me their work over and over, asking, "Is this okay?" (and repeating the same question over and over throughout my English class). Sounds like a lot of work, doesn't it?
  • Other kids are so scared they won't get an "A" that they get stuck, like, on a writing assignment, before they even begin...these kiddos sometimes sit in my class and are kind of paralyzed from the beginning. Painful, huh?
  • Another way this shows up is with kids who pretend they don't care, or say the assignment is stupid, so they make excuses about why they won't even try the assignment. They would actually rather not even try than maybe not do it perfectly. This is a really tough one!
My heart goes out to all these kids. I GeT iT, because I did that stuff when I was in school, too (but not the third one, because I tried to be so "perfect"that I would have never disobeyed a teacher or turned in a late assignment). 
What's the deal, anyway?#!

Where do we get the idea that we need to do everything perfectly? Like, have perfect bodies, look perfect, act perfect, feel perfect (in other words, not ever have negative feelings)? I don't get it.
(insert deep belly breath, here . . .)
Trying to be perfect is pointless because we can never get there! It doesn't exist because we are human and we screw up! (surprise!...Note: Your parents are human, too, so don't expect them to be perfect. either. Thanks!)

Anyway, I know now that to be human is to be imPERFECT... and THAT is PERFECT! (and it takes the pressure off, too.!). That means accepting things just the way they are, even if they're not perfect.

I've noticed that when I resist what IS, I create HUGE StReSs for myself. Honestly, I create this stress by how I think about it--which means, I do it to myself (kind of like the inner mean voice, remember?). Yikes, that means I'm responsible and I'm the one who has the power to change . . . change how I think about this stuff! (oh, that's kind of a relief, actually). . .

Here's how: for example, if I am waiting in a long line:
  • I can sit there and get mad and start making up stories, criticizing what is going on and complain about the situation. And guess what? If I look for crappy stuff about the situation, I just see more and more evidence to back my made up stories or thoughts and that will make me miserable! As Eckhart Tolle writes, “The primary cause of unhappiness is never the situation but your thoughts about it.”   A New Earth: Awakening to Your Life's Purpose
  • Good thing I have a choice! I would rather stand in line and look around, smile at others, make conversation with people around me, plan an adventure, and enjoy myself! I get to pick my own reaction! Whew!
Whatever is in front of me, whatever happens, is, indeed: perfect (even if it's not). I read an awesome blog by an amazingly inspirational guy named Kute Jackson "Trying to be perfect is a waste of time" (click on the title if you want to check it out--it's a little more of a grown up read).

I'm so glad I'm finally getting that perfection doesn't exist...that helps me breathe better. And it allows me to be more accepting of others (for not being perfect) and myself (for not being perfect), too.

When I focus on growing from situation (instead of doing everything perfectly), I can live a happier life! Being PERFECTly imPERFECT!
Yay!

Lots of LoVe!

Dana

Saturday, May 30, 2015

(im)PerfeCkT!


I was thinking today about what it means to be perfect and why I used to try to be perfect, and what I landed on is that I thought that if I did everything perfectly, people would approve of me, or like me (have you every been around someone who acts like they are perfect?  . . . I actually find people who act perfect quite annoying and humorous . . . and I used to be THAT girl . . . ;0( yikes, kinda funny! . . . ).

So being perfect was a way for me to feel in control (even though it was all made up in my head . . . cuz some people still didn't like me no matter if I was perfect or not . . . and guess what? we can't control other people and the way they feel about us!)

Perfection comes in many disguises, like, for example,
  • being the perfect student (you know, like as in, straight A's)
  • being the perfect son/daughter (like you can't mess up)
  • being the perfect athlete/singer/actress/_______fill in blank (no fouls, strikes, warnings,wrong notes or lines etc.)
  • having a perfect body (eating disorder warning . . . been there, done that!)
  • looking perfect
  • kissing butt to people so they like you (even though the things you say aren't true...)
  • making others dependent on you . . .
  • and it goes on and on . . .
Being perfect is SOSOSOSOSOS stressful . . . and WE DO IT TO OURSELVES. Nobody else does it TO us (and if you feel someone expects perfection from you, you might want to have a conversation about that with them and ask them if it's true . . .).

Anyway, so that leaves us with being (im)PerFeCKT! Hmnnnn...

It's actually kind of a relief . . . takes the pressure off, and then we can just breathe, be hu(wo)man, and love ourselves even MORE. More on loving ourselves later . . .
Here's an awesome song by PiNk! to remind you that (im)PerfeCkT is the new PerfeCKt!

Have an amazingly PerFecKT day!

Smiles! and 0000 hugs and ))))) mustaches! 
;) dana

Friday, May 29, 2015

DiVe In! It's DiV(in)e!


"When in deep water, 
become a diver."
~Ralph H. Blum~

Have you ever started something, and you really didn't exactly know what they heck you were doing or where you were going? But you knew it was the right thing to do, anyway?

It's not so easy to continue on a path when you're not sure where you are headed. 

It takes 
courage
and it takes
  faith
 (which is the subject of this blog).

Sometimes we have nO iDeA what we are doing, but in our hearts it's the right thing and we can feel it! Has this ever happened to you?...It's kind of like listening to your gut, which I didn't do when I first named this blog (sEe YesTerdAy's PoSt...)

We just need to tell our inner mean voice
"stop bugging me!!!!!!!!!"
about why I 
can't or shouldn't 
______________ (fill in the blank).
AND,
stop listening to kids and other stuff (like the media!) that could discourage us.

Yep!#%?  I know that's tough stuff when your a kid or a teenager, and guess what? It's also tough for grown ups!
 Living from the 
IN:SIDE OUT and not the OUT:SIDE IN 
takes courage and faith.

I was watching a video from the OWN network (yeah, that's Oprah!) where she interviewed Ram Dass who is a very well-known spiritual leader.

She asked him about the difference between faith and belief. He basically said that belief is up in your head (remember my first blog about listening to our thoughts? ...WATCH OUT! they might not be true!); he also said that
faith
on the other hand, 
comes from your heart.
Hmmmnnnnnn.
What do you want to listen to: your head? your heart?
Maybe they can actually have a conversation! Imagine that!

I don't know about you, but I have spent a lot of my life up in my head thinking...and not always trusting my heart (aka feelings). My head sometimes talks me out of listening to my heart, and I am sick of it! I am learning how to tell my head to 
ZIP IT!

As Carl Jung once wrote: 
“Your vision will become clear only when you look into your heart … 
Who looks outside, dreams. 
Who looks inside, awakens.”

PICTURE THIS...it's a super sweaty day... and you are dying of heat! 
Would you rather stand on the end of the dock for hours thinking about the whether you should jump in? Or, would you rather just jump in and get your butt into the cool water?

Just sayin'  ;) DiVe In!

Lots of LoVe,

Dana




Tuesday, May 26, 2015

wOrdS to LivE by . . .


Go(o)d dAy, aMaZiNg yOU!
Have you thought a little bit about your mantras? You may have even written them down! When I was teaching 8th grade last year, we were talking about cool sayings that have been passed down in our families. SO many of my students told awesome and amazing stories about where they had first heard their special words to live by.

First, I showed them this amazing 
SoulPancake (OprahWinfreyNetwork)
video called Big Think:
Check it out!

Then, I had each of my kids write down a mantra or special saying that speaks to their heart
or that they try to live by.
Here's what it ended up looking like by the end of the day!
Here's a couple of close ups . . . 
By the end of the day, look at what we had--over 200 !! 

Even teachers came to add their special sayings to our board!

Some words to live by from my fAbuliscious 8th grade kiddos!
  • Chocolate makes you happy!
  • Everyone smiles in the same language.
  • Be the person you want to be.
  • Freedom is not free.
  • Let your wings soar to the sky!
  • Be yourself; don’t change for anyone. 
  • Live life strong, or when you are old you will regret it.
  • Breathe!
  • Choose the life you want to live.
  • The only responsibility you have is to be the fullest expression of yourself.
  • Immature love is I love you cause I need you; mature love is I love you cause I love you.
  • Be a bush if you can't be a tree. If you can't be a highway, be a trail. If you can't be the sun, be a star. For it is not by size you win or fail; be the best at whatever you are.
  • Yesterday was the past, tomorrow is the future, today is a gift--that’s why they call it the present.
  • Keep calm and carry on.
  • There are 7 billion people in the world why are you letting one ruin your life?
  • Working hard is smart in the end.
  • Pick flowers instead of fights!
Do you have a favorite inspiring phrase? Would love to hear it below in our comments!

So mUcH LoVe!
;) dana

Sunday, May 24, 2015

Let Go (d)

Shedding that which is not me.
Dear FunFreePeeps;

A couple of weeks ago, I read that recovery and healing is not just about me adopting new ways of thinking, feeling, behaving, and coping in the world--it's equally about "shedding all that which is not me."

This may sound pretty obvious to some, but I believe this statement to be extremely profound. In a society where many of us have tried to fit in, we have cloaked our true nature, our real selves. 

We have behaved in ways that have not been real versions of ourselves--we either puff up and become MORE THAN,  or we have acted in ways that keep us SMALL for a variety of reasons. I would argue that most of these reasons are rooted in fear:
  • to get approval
  • to feel significant
  • to look smart
  • to keep the peace
  • to impress or please others
  • to not outshine and intimidate those around us
  • to prevent abandonment
How does this pattern work for you?

Dana

Wednesday, May 20, 2015

iT's tHe jOuRnEy . . . nOt the dEsTiNaTiOn!


One week, I got this cool note from the Universe in my mailbox (I highly suggest going to tut.com and signing up for the daily Notes rom the Universe. . . they're awesome!). It reminded me that even when I can't see the top and the journey feels rough, I need to carry on and bless each step!:

If you knew of a spectacular mountain that was very,
very tall, yet climbable.
And if it was well established that from its peak,
you could literally see all the love that bathes the world,
dance with the angels, and party with the gods.
Would you curse or celebrate each step you took as you ascended it?
Right-o!
Dana Lynne, life is that mountain and each day a step.
Perspectives change everything,

    ~The Universe


Fear not. Last time I checked, Dana Lynne, 

you were so close to the top they were taking your toga measurements.


I am always amazed that I get just what I need at the right time (like this message). And with that, I am also reminded that I am always just right where I need to be--even if the climb gets tough, or I can't see the cool yummy stuff at the top (and I may not even know where I'm going, LOL!). See this card below? I got this card from one of bffs just about a week later. 
Coincidence? NOT!

(. . . nice Hello Kitty ring, Dana!)

I guess climbing isn't supposed to be easy all the time, is it, now? I mean, we sometimes have to catch our breath 'cuz of the bumps along the path or the changes in ELEVATION (duh) . . . or is it change due to our own EVOL-UTION? 


(word play warning: EVOL is LOVE spelled backwards!). 

It's totally worth it, though--'cuz as we climb, we get used to the air, and we can gaze at the breathtaking view . . . which gets more and more amazing as we climb to greater heights!

Good thing we're always CLIMBING UP and not just

f
     a                    
          l          
               l          
                    i          
                         n
                              g
                                                back(ass)wards, huh? There sure is gratitude in that . . . 

TOP SECRET INFO (shhhh. . .  tell everyone!): I'm starting to believe that there's really no such thing as falling anymore--'cuz each time we fall, it means we have to get back up--which is precisely what makes us stronger. In other words, the FALL is necessary to the recovery and the recovery makes us better climbers. Kinda wierd, huh? 

Sometimes, it sure is nice to hang and climb with close friends and acquaintances, too; but ultimately, I know the climb is mostly my own . . . and that I'm never really alone . . . even if it feels that way once in a while.
Sometimes I climb fast, other times slowly, and sometimes I just gotta rest, look at the view, and look back down the mountain at where I've been (& that can be kinda dangerous 'cuz it makes me dizzy & sick to look back); it's good when I can keep my eye on moving forward--or even better, if I pay attention to right where I am.

Pretty profound this climbing stuff . . . after all, perspectives really do change everything . . . cArRy oN, bRaVE oNe!

hEaRts!  ;) Dana

Tuesday, May 19, 2015

The Journey of Relation-SHIP . . .


The journey is the reward.
-Chinese Proverb

WeLL hELLo all fUn & fRee feLLow tRaVeLers--

As you know, I have been writing a lot lately about the delicate dance of relation-SHIP, and by relation-SHIP, I literally mean SHIP--like, as in relation-SHIPs are journeys, not destinations. 

Sometimes, travel is smooth and beautiful, and the water is crystal clear and the skies are baby blue. Whew!

Other times, waters are murky and tumultuous & filled with predators, and the sky is pitch black, rainy and thunderous--Scary!

Most of us have a destination in mind when we go on a journey, and this is often true of a relation-SHIP, as well. We have an idea of where we want it to go, and so often, we have OUR PLAN (destination) in mind . . . and we forget to really see and appreciate the person in front of us and we don't live authentically in our own skin.

This is also true when we meet someone and assume they have nothing to offer us. We never see the gifts they potentially could offer us in our life 'cuz we think we have it figured out before we even allow the relation-SHIP to develop.

I don't know about you, but some of the coolest journeys I have taken are just getting in the car and starting to drive--without knowing where I am going . . . OR (even better) . . . having a set destination and then getting lost or going on a detour and ending up somewhere even more amazing than I had ever imagined . . . (I'm sure you know where I'm secretly going with this by now!).

CONSIDER THIS: 
Relation-SHIPS are journeys, not destinations, and if we open ourselves to fully experiencing another person, while being authentic at the same time, the possibilities are endless! Hello!

For those of us who have ever chased a relationship, this notion can be a huge relief. Personally, I'd rather be my imperfect, crazy, awkward self--with someone who appreciates me for all of it--than try to be perfect with someone who constantly corrects me, criticizes me, and wants me to be different than who I am. Bye-bye!

When we open ourselves up authentically to others, we may be surprised where the journey, the relation-SHIP carries us. Where has an unexpected relation-SHIP taken you?

Leave me a comment and let me know!
All Aboard!
Love, 
Captain Dana

Thursday, May 14, 2015

WatcH tHe cLoUdS and jUsT bE . . .

I only do this until I get dizzy
and then I lay down on my back 
& watch the clouds she said. 
It sounds simple 
but you won't believe how many people
forget the second part.


Dear FunFreePeeps!

Yesterday I did something (r)EVOLUTIONARY! If you've read my blog for awhile, you may realize that sometimes my brain sends my into kind of a tailspin of TO DO LISTING! Sometimes, I get rather stuck up in my brain thinking about the stuff I HAVE TO DO (made up stuff, a lot of the time . . . ) OR I whirl around my house or classroom DOING STUFF. 

Ho do we get this STUFF OUT OF OUR BRAINS and out of the TAILSPIN/WHIRLWIND OF ACTION?

First, I write down major categories of my STUFF: kids, house, to fix, car, funfreeMe, business school, LOVE, and LIFE! And then, I downloaded everything out of my brain and barf it onto the paper.

You know what? . . . I often realize that my list isn't even that long . . . and I am getting overwhelmed over not SO MUCH STUFF. Even just getting it on paper calms me down a TON!

In the past, what I've tried to do is get everything done superFAST so I can actually relax, instead of moving through my activities, and giving each my full attention and presence, trusting that I'll know what the next right thing to do will be--

Somewhere along the way, I learned that if I'm superBUSY and get things done superFAST in a superPERFECT way, I'll get extra credit or something. TOTAL VICTIM of busYness and PERFECTION!

Same with suffering. I used to believe that if I held onto the past and kept reliving pain, I would get extra credit for my extra suffering. TOTAL VICTIM of pAIn (in the butt) and DRAMA!

Secret information: We are human BEings not human DOings. We need to enjoy life along the way and not freak out over all the stuff we have to do, after all, there's always more stuff to add to our lists.

"In Micronesian, there's a word, kukaro, which has no corresponding word in English. When people say they are going to kukaro, they mean they are going to relax, sit around, and hang out. They are being, not doing."

--Eli and Beth Halpern


I sure don't know any Micronesian, and I don't even know where it's spoken, do you? Leave me a comment and let me know! but I love the idea of kukaro, and I'm going to put more kukaro-ing into my life!

PeAcE--
xXoXox0x dana

Wednesday, May 13, 2015

wHat Is yOuR hEaRt'S dEsiRe?


Dear Fun & Free Peeps!

This is an amazing poster by Karen Salmonsohn. I have done a lot of reading and studying about manifestation and the LAW OF ATTRACTION (read the book The Secret or watch the movie--it's amazing!), and one thing I struggle with (and have for a long time) is that I'm not always sure what I want--or I don't trust myself enough to know what I want and just end up second-guessing what I think I want--does that even make sense?

A recurring and painful pattern in my life is this: It's easier for me to try and meet other people's needs before my own, so I've struggled with acquiring the skills & practice it takes to get in touch with what I want--that just hasn't been my role--until just recently (meaning in the past 5 years, or so . . .). So part of my journey has been to GET IN TOUCH WITH ME AND WITH WHAT I HOLD AS MY DEEPEST  & MOST PRECIOUS WISHES.

I want my wishes to come true-- and therefore it's my job as a Child of the Universe to leverage my wishes, but first I've had to learn to LISTEN to the whisperings of my heart.

What has helped my find this inner voice is most definitely and directly tied to my spiritual practices, which include:
  • writing (in my journal and sharing my process in this daily bloggety-blog)
  • reading books, blogs, and literature that inspires me
  • healing/energy work
  • meditation
  • yoga
  • processing with loved ones
  • eating properly & exercising
  • treating myself with love and kindness; accepting myself as human (rather than perfect)
  • speaking my feelings and my truth respectfully and firmly (or, just barfing them out in inappropriate ways and then taking corrective measures after ;0)
  • intentionally being present, in the moment
  • saying "I'm sorry" when I make a mEsS with my words or actions
Now, really, this list is pretty long, and I certainly am not 100% on any of it--but the point is, I'm intentionally raising my awareness, and I'm trying to evolve. So, as I look at Salmonsohn's "How to make wishes come true," I am going describe what each item means to me right now on my journey:
  1. Feel your dream with all your might. This is about visualization, The Law of Attraction, and gratitude. We can make our wishes come true faster when we appreciate what we already have and act "as if" we already possess what we desire. And be in the present moment.
  2. List your "To Do's," Write. Write. Write. In order to manifest what we want, it's a great idea to write down what we want in specific, present tense terms. Making a vision board is also am amazing process.
  3. Overwhelmed? Take Smaller bites. Sometimes we go for the big stuff, when continuous, smaller steps might be more palatable. I always want o be a different, bigger version of myself . . .  and HATE on my former self.
  4. Frustrated? Focus on all that's right. Once again, gratitude for all we already have is super powerful to call in the even better stuff, relationships, and circumstance!
  5. Impatient? Focus on what's within sight. This practice helps keep us in the present, with our short-term goals right in front of us.
  6. Hustle each day. Appreciate progress each night. Calling in our deepest desires takes daily action--manifestation is not wishing and hoping without taking steps toward what you want. At the end of the day, we can appreciate and feel gratitude for our progress. 
How do you make your dreams come true? Leave us a comment and share your ideas!
Lots of Love,
Dana 

Tuesday, May 12, 2015

My Mother's Day Gifts!


Dear Peeps;

Thought I'd share with you what I got from my daughter Chloe for Mother's Day (see above). It's called a Wordle, and my daughter made it in the shape of a shoe (we both LOVE shoes!) with words inside that she used to describe me. I was so surprised!

Here are the words she used for ME, her super lucky Momma!--
  • Mom
  • fun
  • helpful
  • amazing
  • lovable
  • daring
  • leader
  • beautiful
  • Irish
  • spiritual
  • pretty
  • exciting
  • weird
  • silly
  • crazy
  • awesome
  • caring
  • special
  • nice
  • funny 
  • brave
  • loving 
  • creative





I'm gonna check out this list on the days when I feel like a crappy Mom--and remind myself that my daughter thinks I'm all of these awesome things (on a good day . . . ), and that my best is pretty darn good (even on a bad day . . .). 



My son, Max, made me this card. It says:
Happy Mother's Day!
From: Max
Dear Mom,
I luv you all of the time, (except when you're being a *hoverbot.)
I heart you!                                                                                   --Max

*hoverbot is our code word for when Max feels like I am "hovering" or micromanaging him too much--like a helicopter parent! It's been a great tool for me to know when to back off a bit.
p.s. Max told me that he secretly still loves me even when I am a hoverbot.

What gifts! I'm so grateful . . . Thanks, Chloe & Max!

Love you to the moon and back . . . ;0)
Mom

Saturday, May 9, 2015

Arrival of Theodore Duncan Bradach III . . .

Shhhhh . . . 

Teddy the Cavapoo is here and he is a very good boy! He is taking his morning nap right now, so please be very quiet!
I may need a bit of extra sleep in the next week or so, but I'll still be writing.
Have a beautiful day!
Dana

Friday, May 8, 2015

gOt dRaMa?


hEllo tHerE!

Let's just say that today has been, well . . . CHALLENGING! 

I thought I had the day totally planned out, but just when I think everything is UnDeR cOnTroL . . . life happens . . . and things change. 

And, I'm not even going to give the drama of my day energy by sharing all the details . . . cuz' I'm gonna DrOp DrAmA!

Actually, change is the only thing we can really count on, I suppose. So today I had to get really creative, and flexible with   LiFe!  

I could have gone into suPer frEak out mode . . . and I almost did in front of my son, Max. I turned to him and sighed this morning, frustrated. 

And he asked, "Mom, are you okay?"

I (dramatically) announced, "I think I might need to cry."

And then, magically, Max said, "Breathe, Mom." (gee, where has he heard that before? LoL!)

So, I took a deep breath, and said, "You know, I'm not going to cry. . . too dramatic. I'm just going to breathe, and go with it."
Whew. . . I'm okay.

So, today has been challenging, and I have been very creative, patient, and strong. I made a choice to go with the flow, and you know what?

Everything is just fine

I'm glad I am learning how to actively choose my reactions to the world around me. At least for today.

Dana

Thursday, May 7, 2015

fEEL it aLL . . .

Hey All--

I have to admit that I had a meltdown last night. 

It's okay, sort of. 

I'm human.

There are many layers to a meltdown, but the first line of recovery for me involves the shame I feel from having the meltdown in the first place. It's like the worst hangover feeling ever.
This self-imposed shame is an additional layer of yucky-ness from the original shi## that I felt triggered from, catapulting me into the meltdown in the first place. It's another way I punish myself. 

What I know, is that I learned that having feelings  in the first place was a source of shame, and that if I expressed them, I was punished, emotionally--DIS-missed. And then I would go missing, almost like hiding, emotionally by denying I had feelings at all. Push them down so deep into my cells, causing feelings of intense sadness, depression, hopelessness, topped off with a (LARGE)dash of anxiety.

Funny thing is, I don't need anyone else to do that to me anymore; I've learned to do that myself, thank you very much. 

Not sure why I believe that voice inside my head anymore; it's the meanest, cruelest entity I've ever known. Like a black hole heart-stabbing.

Here's how it works, I think (or can I just let go and try NOT to figure it out? . . . that's another layer, too):

I get triggered by X.

Fixate on X (don't take responsibility for my reaction).

Feel ashamed of myself.

Stuff my emotions.
Emotions get bigger, and bigger, . . . and bigger.
Stuff bigger, and bigger, . . . and bigger emotions.
Become anxious, sad, and emotions get bigger, and bigger, . . . and bigger.

Repeat pattern, until . . .

Meltdown ensues.

Feel ashamed of meltdown (and then the cycle repeats again . . .)

Stuff my emotions.
Emotions get bigger, and bigger, . . . and bigger.
Stuff bigger, and bigger, . . . and bigger emotions.
Become anxious, sad, and emotions get bigger, and bigger, . . . and bigger.

Repeat pattern, until . . . (maybe) . . . I (let myself) cry.

Which happened this morning. On my way to work. Let's just say it was a gusher. And do you know what I noticed?

I noticed that when there are tears in my eyes, I actually see MORE CLEARLY. And when I stuff and deny my emotions, let's just say that it's, well, much messier. I think crying may actually be good for me.

This realization reminds me of an amazing message from Michael EisenCheck out his-story (get it? hisTORY?)! I have highlighted the stuff that totally resonates with me in his message.

***********************************

Don’t Suppress – EXPRESS!

by MICHAEL EISEN on AUGUST 4, 2012

Growing up I was taught that part of being a man was having control over my emotions. I didn’t want to be seen as someone who was “emotional,” rather as someone who was rational and logical. If I did show my emotions too much it would be considered weak and irresponsible. I would be judged by others and not given a fair chance at certain opportunities in life. I was taught to suppress instead of express.
Unfortunately, this belief system is very much present in most men in our society. I believe that women generally are more attuned to their emotions because they don’t face as much negative stigma when it comes to expressing themselves. However, as there has been more push for gender equality in our society over the past few decades, I believe that women have even begun to take on this same belief as their own, out of fear that being viewed as someone who is “emotional” may limit their opportunities to succeed.
The unfortunate reality is that we live in a society that does not value creative feelers nearly as much as the logical thinkers, and thus we are in some way forced to decide whether we want to face the judgment and ridicule that comes with expressing ourselves and feeling our emotions.
I believe that our society has it all WRONG!
It is our misconception and misunderstanding of what emotions truly are that creates the majority of the distress and dis-ease that we experience. So what are emotions anyway?
Emotions in their natural state are energy in motion. In essence they are the free flow of energy that is triggered by our response to what’s going on around us. I believe that everything in this world is made up of energy, even humans. So when our vibrating frequency comes in contact with the forces around us, there’s a reaction. I’m sure you have experienced this, even if you weren’t aware of what was happening. Have you ever noticed that when a really happy individual walks into a room, the whole space seems to light up? But when an angry or stressed-out person enters the same room, it’s as if the light has been extinguished? That’s energy!
If emotions are energy in motion, then every time we try to control this force by holding them back, we stop their natural flow and end up throwing ourselves out of balance. Every emotion has a path of movement, and in its natural form it will flow in and through our bodies with relative ease and often rather quickly. A great example of this is to observe a child. Because they have not yet been conditioned to judge or stop what they’re feeling, babies and young children will go from hysterical tears to giddy glee in a matter of seconds. With no resistance, the energy flows and the emotions are expressed and let go.
What impedes the flow is when our minds become active during this process. Because many of us are taught that expressing ourselves is bad, weak or irresponsible, we begin to judge, analyze and even try to understand what we are feeling instead of just feeling it. If we don’t have our emotions under control, we’re viewed as social outcasts. If we cry in public, it’s considered embarrassing. Even someone laughing really loudly oftentimes attracts a lot of unwanted attention.
At a young age I was taught that if I don’t keep control over my emotions that they would explode and cause pain to myself and others. The ironic thing is that over the past few years I have discovered that the process of controlling and suppressing my emotions is what ultimately caused all of the pain! It was the suppression of my emotions that led to the explosion. Because emotions are energy in motion, when we try to control or suppress them, they only get stronger. It is like we are taking our emotions and locking them away in a trunk. Every time we feel another emotion that we don’t want to feel, we put it in the trunk. Inside this trunk are all of our unwanted emotions bouncing off the walls and each other. The longer they are resisted, the stronger they persist. Eventually the trunk bursts open and out comes our suppressed emotions, often in a violent and explosive way.
If however, we decided to throw away the trunk and express our emotions, without judgment or analysis, when they first surfaced, they would flow through us a lot easier and faster – like they do in a child. We would avoid the violent explosions and the physical maladies that the suppressed emotions created in our bodies. Life certainly would become a lot easier!
I was lucky enough to realize at a young age that expressing my emotions instead of suppressing them was the key to living a happy and healthy life. I now believe that being an emotionally aware and intelligent person is no longer a weakness, but one of my greatest strengths and assets.

***********************************

So, there it is! . . pretty cool stuff, huh? I am going to practice feeling my feelings with safe people going forward.
Hope you have an amazing and blessed day!
Super hUgS!
;0) dana