Appreciate Relation-SHIPS. . . .

The journey is the reward.
-Chinese Proverb

I have been thinking a lot lately about the delicate dance of relation-SHIP, and by relation-SHIP, I literally mean SHIP--like, as in relation-SHIPs are journeys, not destinations. 

Sometimes, travel is smooth and beautiful, and the water is crystal clear and the skies are baby blue. Whew! and Yay!

Other times, waters are murky and tumultuous & filled with predators, and the sky is pitch black, rainy, and thunderous--Scary! . . .not.

Most of us have a destination in mind when we go on a journey, and this is often true of a relation-SHIP, as well. We have an idea of where we want it to go, and so often, we have OUR PLAN (destination) in mind . . . and we forget to really see and appreciate the person in front of us and we don't live authentically in our own skin.

This is also true when we meet someone and assume they have nothing to offer us. We never see the gifts they potentially could offer us in our life 'cuz we think we have it figured out before we even allow the relation-SHIP to develop.

I don't know about you, but some of the coolest journeys I have taken are just getting in the car and starting to drive--without knowing where I am going . . . OR (even better) . . . having a set destination and then getting lost or going on a detour and ending up somewhere even more amazing than I had ever imagined . . . (I'm sure you know where I'm secretly going with this by now!)

CONSIDER THIS: Relation-SHIPS are journeys, not destinations, and if we open ourselves to fully experiencing another person, while being authentic at the same time, the possibilities are endless! Hello!

For those of us who have ever chased a relationship, this notion can be a huge relief. Personally, I'd rather be my imperfect, crazy, awkward self--with someone who appreciates me for all of it--than try to be perfect with someone who constantly corrects me, criticizes me, and wants me to be different than who I am. Bye-bye!

When we open ourselves up authentically to others, we may be surprised where the journey, the relation-SHIP carries us. Where has an unexpected relation-SHIP taken you? 

Take Action; Choose Your Path

05.06.17. Yesterday, I shared that the next time I go to Lakewood Cemetery, I will intentionally go to the office to find a map to my brother's gravesite.  As a rather hippy-type person with her head up in the clouds some of the time, and I was expecting to "follow my energy" at the cemetery to find Chris's gravestone three years after his death. I was wrong (but where I was supposed to be . . ). Although I know I wasn't supposed to find Chris's gravesite last Wednesday, I got a strong "Message from the Universe" in my mailbox yesterday morning from TUT.COM which read: ****************************************************** Let's just say, Dana, you're driving down the road listening to some hip-hop, happy kind of music. Then, after a while, you decide you want to hear something else, maybe some classic rock. Would you just hope that the hip-hop station starts playing rock? Would you visualize it, and say, "YES! I believe in the magic! I know thoughts become things! I can 'see’ the Boss now, I can 'hear’ the E Street Band. Thank you, Universe, in advance, I am so grateful!"? Or, after thinking about what you wanted, would you physically change the station? Good. Just checking. Rock on,     The Universe ****************************************************** It hit me that in my hippy-dippy world, I have sometimes felt that if I envision something and give it my full energy, it will happen because of the magic nature of the Universe. And THAT, is actually true. The Universe is so magically delicious (just like Lucky Charms). But I realize I have missed the point, sometimes.  Nothing will happen in my life without my personal and unique agency, my action. And "trusting the Universe" requires my believing in myself enough to move forward to follow my head and my heart (a difficult marriage) and f***ing DO SOMETHING! And as I write this, I am thinking that most people already know this. And that may or may not be true. This is my stuck elementary school self who thought everyone knew all this stuff and I didn't.  But at least I'm questioning it . . .  It doesn't matter. Because this is my unique experience at age 51, and I am a writer, and I share my life's tapestry with you, wherever life may find you.  So sometimes we need a map, and we can try to visualize the hell out of the map arriving, or we can simply ask for it, taking our ego out of the picture.  It's hard to ask for help for some of us who have been on survival. We are warriors, but sometimes, we are weary. When we can share our pain, drop our burdens, let go and ask for help, life becomes a confluence of community and self--and we can finally breathe. We are gratefully not alone. Can I borrow your map?

rELaTtiOn-SHIPS! aLL aBoArd @!#$^&

The journey is the reward.
-Chinese Proverb

WeLL hELLo all fUn & fRee feLLow tRaVeLers--

As you know, I have been writing a lot lately about the delicate dance of relation-SHIP, and by relation-SHIP, I literally mean SHIP--like, as in relation-SHIPs are journeys, not destinations. 
Sometimes, travel is smooth and beautiful, and the water is crystal clear and the skies are baby blue. Whew!
Other times, waters are murky and tumultuous & filled with predators, and the sky is pitch black, rainy and thunderous--Scary!
Most of us have a destination in mind when we go on a journey, and this is often true of a relation-SHIP, as well. We have an idea of where we want it to go, and so often, we have OUR PLAN (destination) in mind . . . and we forget to really see and appreciate the person in front of us and we don't live authentically in our own skin.
This is also true when we meet someone and assume they have nothing to offer us. We never see the gifts they potentially could offer us in our life 'cuz we think we have it figured out before we even allow the relation-SHIP to develop.
I don't know about you, but some of the coolest journeys I have taken are just getting in the car and starting to drive--without knowing where I am going . . . OR (even better) . . . having a set destination and then getting lost or going on a detour and ending up somewhere even more amazing than I had ever imagined . . . (I'm sure you know where I'm secretly going with this by now!)
CONSIDER THIS: 
Relation-SHIPS are journeys, not destinations, and if we open ourselves to fully experiencing another person, while being authentic at the same time, the possibilities are endless! Hello!
For those of us who have ever chased a relationship, this notion can be a huge relief. Personally, I'd rather be my imperfect, crazy, awkward self--with someone who appreciates me for all of it--than try to be perfect with someone who constantly corrects me, criticizes me, and wants me to be different than who I am. Bye-bye!
When we open ourselves up authentically to others, we may be surprised where the journey, the relation-SHIP carries us. Where has an unexpected relation-SHIP taken you? Leave me a comment and let me know!
All Aboard!
Love, 
Captain Dana

Rule 9: Your Answers Lie Within You

heLLo aMaziNg fun & free following!

I've been checking out and writing about Cherie Carter-Scott's Ten Rules for being Human for the past week or so. It has been an amazing journey, and I've been reminded of so much (stuff I had forgotten . . . see rule 10!)

Sadly, we just have two left to consider and they are:

9. Your answers lie within you. The answers to life's questions lie within you. All you nee to do is look, listen, and trust.

10. you will forget all this.

The soul knows everything. 

Be who you are and your life will transform forever. 
~Deepak Chopra

Only when we choose a calmer life can we actually listen to and get to know oUr(goOD and bAd)selves. 

When I was younger, I used to keep super busy (so people would know how much I had to do 'cuz i was so important and so responsible and I could multitask) all the time and make lists of stuff I had to do, check my lists off and make new ones...I even had lists of lists! I also tried to be friends with everyone (just like the girl in my lunch club). 

And guess what? It was exhausting for me 'cuz I couldn't keep up with everyone's dRaMa! I also ended up being kind of L(one)Ly 'cuz my friendships didn't go very dEEp (sounds familiar, right?). 

Anyway, looking back, al this business was really a way for me to run away from me. Like, as in, run away from getting to know myself and loving myself. Somewhere I learned that if I kept busy, if I did all this stuff for other people all the time, and if everyone liked me, I would be oKaY---problem is, I was living OUT:SIDE IN not IN:SIDE OUT.

We have to make friends with and LoVe ourselves, before we can LoVe others. I wish I would have known that when I was younger--but now I know (and I still have to practice, btw . . .) and, I know the You-niverse gives me everything in my own perfect time! 

And, I'm super blessed 'cuz now I kind of understand some of this stuff, and it helps me write this blog so I can share the You-niversal Go(o)dness with you! No coincidence about that!

So blessed to bLoG & thankful 4 U!
huggers! 
;) dana

Rule 5: Learning lessons never ends . . .

"Learning lessons does not end . . ."

hApPy Monday!

I've been looking at Cherie Carter-Scott's work, "Ten Rules for Being Human" for a few days. It's an amazing list! Check it out. I've been focusing on one rule each day, and today is rule 5!
Ten Rules for Being Human
by Cherie Carter-Scott

1.	You will receive a body. You may like it or hate it, but it's yours to keep for the entire period.
2.	You will learn lessons. You are enrolled in a full-time informal school called, "life."
3.	There are no mistakes, only lessons. Growth is a process of trial, error, and experimentation. The "failed" experiments are as much a part of the process as the experiments that ultimately "work."
4.	Lessons are repeated until they are learned. A lesson will be presented to you in various forms until you have learned it. When you have learned it, you can go on to the next lesson.
5.	Learning lessons does not end. There's no part of life that doesn't contain its lessons. If you're alive, that means there are still lessons to be learned.
6.	"There" is no better a place than "here." When your "there" has become a "here", you will simply obtain another "there" that will again look better than "here."
7.	Other people are merely mirrors of you. You cannot love or hate something about another person unless it reflects to you something you love or hate about yourself.
8.	What you make of your life is up to you. You have all the tools and resources you need. What you do with them is up to you. The choice is yours.
9.	Your answers lie within you. The answers to life's questions lie within you. All you need to do is look, listen, and trust.
10.	You will forget all this.

What rule 5 reminds me of is to be humble. Like, as in, we never "arrive." So I know that as long as I am alive, I will always be a student of life. What that means to me, is that I can relax and stop thinking that I am "done" or I "have arrived." In other words, my life is a work in progress, and I can relax and stop trying to be perfect.

We need to be open to the lessons the You-niverse provides us. What lessons is the You-niverse opening up 4 you?

Hearts!
D-Doggie-dog

LeArNinG is tHe rEaL jOurNey . . .

Have you learned the lessons
only of those who admired you,
and were tender with you,
and who stood aside for you?

Have you not learned great lessons 

from those who braced themselves against you,

and disputed the passage with you?
--Walt Whitman

Dear fun & free Peeps!

Have you ever noticed that a lot of times we really want life to be easy and our relationships to be harmonious and smooth? And when things aren't that way, we can sometimes freak out?

What if we decide that even the lumpy stuff and the difficult people in our lives were sent for a reason? That is, to learn some stuff from them?

I'm not sure where I learned that stuff should usually go my way . . . no bumps or whatever . . . but I'll tell you one thing:

ThIngS moStLy doN'T go thE way,

I, dAna LyNNe cUrrY BraDaCh,

eXpeCt tHeM to gO.

And then, I ask myself the question: Why sHouLd they?

top secret incoming confession: I think maybe the real problem is that I get attached to my expectations (of people and other things), and then I feel disappointed when my expectations aren't met.

What if I change my expectations and open up to whatever life brings me? And, just accept WHAT IS--positive or negative--and decide that WHATever IS going on OUTSIDE of me doesn't necessarily have to affect WHAT IS my own experience on the INSIDE?

WheW!!!!

 . . . sounds good, doesn't it? 

It means that no matter what happens, ALL IS WELL.

cOoL bEaNs!

;0) dAnA

pEEps in Ur LiFe r MIRRORS:SRORRIM of U!

Karla & Jeanie: Doppelgangers

September, 2012

hEy fun & freePeePS!

Have you ever heard that everyone of us in the world has a double (someone who looks just like you) somewhere in time? Funny thing is, they may be YOU at a different age, so you may not recognize them.

I have been asked by my students many times if I was at ______ (enter random location and time) and they swear they saw me! Apparently, there is a woman who looks exactly like me in the town where I work (40 miles from where I actually live). Has this ever happened to you?

If you look at the  picture above, you'll see two different women, 10 years apart. This is a picture I took of two friends--one I've known for over 15 years (Karla, on the left), and one, I just met (Jeanie, on the right).

When I met Jeanie, about two months ago--I freaked! 

Not only did she look like a tad bit older version of my good friend, Karla (who I've taught with for a super long time)--BUT THEY ACTUALLY TALK AND ACT LIKE ME, and MINI-ME! I could hardly stand it! So when Jeanie came to my school, I had to introduce them to each other and take this amazing me/mini-me picture!

In literature, they are called Doppelgangers, or, literally, "double-walkers." And, that's the point to this blog, actually.

Everyone in our lives mirrors parts of us.

Know why? "Cuz we assign the meaning of others actions, words, behaviors, and ways of being through our own lenses. That means when we recognize something in others, there must be a similar trait in our own lives that is being mirrored back to us.

My friend, Nancy, reminded me of this today, when I had a physical reaction to an event in my life. She thinks I may need therapy . . . (which may be the case) BUT TRUTHFULLY, I have been outsourcing my mental health, and my physical and emotional well-being my whole life. And I think (truthfully) that it's big business (busy-ness). 

I do appreciate her pushing me to look at and embrace my own shadows. I know this for sure: I project my own shadows to the circumstances and people in my life--I just need to own it. 

Which brings me back to surrounding myself with peeps who reflect my BEST SELF, and setting boundaries around those relationships where we don't show up in our best light (although these can be some of our best opportunities for growth).

Everyone in our lives can serve as a Doppelganger, if we pay attention. The important thing, is to take responsibility for what we create as reflections. It's all amazing learning, after all!

We are so, so lucky!

dana:anad  

p.s. get the mirror thang? grOOvy bAby!

iT's tHe jOuRnEy . . . nOt the dEsTiNaTiOn!

One week, I got this cool note from the Universe in my mailbox (I highly suggest going to tut.com and signing up for the daily Notes rom the Universe. . . they're awesome!). It reminded me that even when I can't see the top and the journey feels rough, I need to carry on and bless each step!:

If you knew of a spectacular mountain that was very,
very tall, yet climbable.
And if it was well established that from its peak,

you could literally see all the love that bathes the world,

dance with the angels, and party with the gods.
Would you curse or celebrate each step you took as you ascended it?
Right-o!
Dana Lynne, life is that mountain and each day a step.
Perspectives change everything,
    ~The Universe

Fear not. Last time I checked, Dana Lynne, 
you were so close to the top they were taking your toga measurements.

I am always amazed that I get just what I need at the right time (like this message). And with that, I am also reminded that I am always just right where I need to be--even if the climb gets tough, or I can't see the cool yummy stuff at the top (and I may not even know where I'm going, LOL!). See this card below? I got this card from one of bffs just about a week later. 

Coincidence? NOT!

(. . . nice Hello Kitty ring, Dana!)

I guess climbing isn't supposed to be easy all the time, is it, now? I mean, we sometimes have to catch our breath 'cuz of the bumps along the path or the changes in ELEVATION (duh) . . . or is it change due to our own EVOL-UTION? 

(word play warning: EVOL is LOVE spelled backwards!). 

It's totally worth it, though--'cuz as we climb, we get used to the air, and we can gaze at the breathtaking view . . . which gets more and more amazing as we climb to greater heights!

Good thing we're always CLIMBING UP and not just

f

     a                    

          l          

               l          

                    i          

                         n

                              g

                                                back(ass)wards, huh? There sure is gratitude in that . . . 

TOP SECRET INFO (shhhh. . .  tell everyone!): I'm starting to believe that there's really no such thing as falling anymore--'cuz each time we fall, it means we have to get back up--which is precisely what makes us stronger. In other words, the FALL is necessary to the recovery and the recovery makes us better climbers. Kinda wierd, huh? 

Sometimes, it sure is nice to hang and climb with close friends and acquaintances, too; but ultimately, I know the climb is mostly my own . . . and that I'm never really alone . . . even if it feels that way once in a while.

Sometimes I climb fast, other times slowly, and sometimes I just gotta rest, look at the view, and look back down the mountain at where I've been (& that can be kinda dangerous 'cuz it makes me dizzy & sick to look back); it's good when I can keep my eye on moving forward--or even better, if I pay attention to right where I am.

Pretty profound this climbing stuff . . . after all, perspectives really do change everything . . . cArRy oN, bRaVE oNe!

hEaRts!  ;) Dana

The Journey of Relation-SHIP . . .

The journey is the reward.
-Chinese Proverb

WeLL hELLo all fUn & fRee feLLow tRaVeLers--

As you know, I have been writing a lot lately about the delicate dance of relation-SHIP, and by relation-SHIP, I literally mean SHIP--like, as in relation-SHIPs are journeys, not destinations. 

Sometimes, travel is smooth and beautiful, and the water is crystal clear and the skies are baby blue. Whew!

Other times, waters are murky and tumultuous & filled with predators, and the sky is pitch black, rainy and thunderous--Scary!

Most of us have a destination in mind when we go on a journey, and this is often true of a relation-SHIP, as well. We have an idea of where we want it to go, and so often, we have OUR PLAN (destination) in mind . . . and we forget to really see and appreciate the person in front of us and we don't live authentically in our own skin.

This is also true when we meet someone and assume they have nothing to offer us. We never see the gifts they potentially could offer us in our life 'cuz we think we have it figured out before we even allow the relation-SHIP to develop.

I don't know about you, but some of the coolest journeys I have taken are just getting in the car and starting to drive--without knowing where I am going . . . OR (even better) . . . having a set destination and then getting lost or going on a detour and ending up somewhere even more amazing than I had ever imagined . . . (I'm sure you know where I'm secretly going with this by now!).

CONSIDER THIS: 
Relation-SHIPS are journeys, not destinations, and if we open ourselves to fully experiencing another person, while being authentic at the same time, the possibilities are endless! Hello!

For those of us who have ever chased a relationship, this notion can be a huge relief. Personally, I'd rather be my imperfect, crazy, awkward self--with someone who appreciates me for all of it--than try to be perfect with someone who constantly corrects me, criticizes me, and wants me to be different than who I am. Bye-bye!

When we open ourselves up authentically to others, we may be surprised where the journey, the relation-SHIP carries us. Where has an unexpected relation-SHIP taken you?

Leave me a comment and let me know!
All Aboard!
Love, 
Captain Dana