dO nOt Re-Sist!

Star Trek: Resistance is Futile

When you become defensive, blame others, and do not accept and surrender to the moment, your life meets resistance. Any time you encounter resistance, recognize that if you force the situation, the resistance will only increase.

You don't want to stand rigid like a tall oak that cracks and collapses in the storm. Instead, you want to be flexible, like a reed that bends with the storm and survives. 

Completely desist from defending your point of view.

When you have no point to defend, you do not allow the birth of an argument.

Someone once told me, "The past is history, the future is a mystery, and this moment is a gift. That is why this moment is called 'the present'."                              

~Deepak Chopra

Dear FunFreePeeps:

Most of us have experienced another persoon persecuting us, verbally; in other words, people are talking s#!+ about us. It's interesting how we humans do that to each other. And guess what? It meets some serious needs for the person who is talking s#!+.

Let's take a closer look:

• If I talk about you, I take the spotlight off of myself and what it is about ME that I need to change, shift, or look at.
• When I focus on YOU, I ASSume I know what's in your head and what you need. SUPER-DUPER LIE! 
• If I talk about being "worried" about YOU . . . I am ASSigning meaning to your life which is frankly, . . . NONE OF MY dA(m)nG BUSY-NESS . . . 

Which brings me to the idea of BUSY-NESS.

Have you ever noticed that people who are focused on the business of others do not look at their own business, and they create more and more BUSY-NESS out of their own habit of keeping up with what's going on with everyone else? 

It's okay. Like I wrote earlier, this is a need-seeking behavior. We all have a need for significance and belonging, and sometimes we feel significant when we have "THE (made up) GOODS" on someone else, and we stir the pot to create chaos and deflect focus from ourselves and our own stuff. HOW Convenient. Thanks, Church Lady (Dana Garvey from SNL). CLICK BELOW!

For those of us who have done this (and I, for sure, am guilty . . .) I invite you to kindly and firmly KNOCK IT OFF, and

LOOK IN THE MIRROR:RORRIM EHT NI KOOL 

People, frankly,

do not want to get sucked into your

s#!+STORM;

(note poop-brown color)

it's not interesting,

it's draining,

and it lacks integrity.

For those of us who have been the recipient of such diatribes:

• RELAX. Breathe. It's not about you!
• As Chopra said, DO NOT DEFEND YOURSELF. "Completely desist from defending your point of view." Everything in the Universe is energy, and in these situations, we need to conserve our energy for ourselves. Defending takes your energy away. 
• Know that this is need-seeking behavior (not about you) and try to have compassion for the person who persecutes you; remember time when you have done the same.
• LOVE YOURSELF EVEN MORE--WHATEVER THAT LOOKS LIKE FOR YOU. Here are some ideas that work for me:
• take a salt bath.
• exercise.
• change your environment.
• meditate (don't medicate . . .)
• write.
• scream into a pillow.
• rest.
• watch your favorite stupid show.

What are your feelings and thoughts about these emotional VaMpIrES?  How do you handle them in your amazing Life?

Let us know in the comments!

MonSTer (but not vampire) LovE!

Dana

pEEps in Ur LiFe r MIRRORS:SRORRIM of U!

Karla & Jeanie: Doppelgangers

September, 2012

hEy fun & freePeePS!

Have you ever heard that everyone of us in the world has a double (someone who looks just like you) somewhere in time? Funny thing is, they may be YOU at a different age, so you may not recognize them.

I have been asked by my students many times if I was at ______ (enter random location and time) and they swear they saw me! Apparently, there is a woman who looks exactly like me in the town where I work (40 miles from where I actually live). Has this ever happened to you?

If you look at the  picture above, you'll see two different women, 10 years apart. This is a picture I took of two friends--one I've known for over 15 years (Karla, on the left), and one, I just met (Jeanie, on the right).

When I met Jeanie, about two months ago--I freaked! 

Not only did she look like a tad bit older version of my good friend, Karla (who I've taught with for a super long time)--BUT THEY ACTUALLY TALK AND ACT LIKE ME, and MINI-ME! I could hardly stand it! So when Jeanie came to my school, I had to introduce them to each other and take this amazing me/mini-me picture!

In literature, they are called Doppelgangers, or, literally, "double-walkers." And, that's the point to this blog, actually.

Everyone in our lives mirrors parts of us.

Know why? "Cuz we assign the meaning of others actions, words, behaviors, and ways of being through our own lenses. That means when we recognize something in others, there must be a similar trait in our own lives that is being mirrored back to us.

My friend, Nancy, reminded me of this today, when I had a physical reaction to an event in my life. She thinks I may need therapy . . . (which may be the case) BUT TRUTHFULLY, I have been outsourcing my mental health, and my physical and emotional well-being my whole life. And I think (truthfully) that it's big business (busy-ness). 

I do appreciate her pushing me to look at and embrace my own shadows. I know this for sure: I project my own shadows to the circumstances and people in my life--I just need to own it. 

Which brings me back to surrounding myself with peeps who reflect my BEST SELF, and setting boundaries around those relationships where we don't show up in our best light (although these can be some of our best opportunities for growth).

Everyone in our lives can serve as a Doppelganger, if we pay attention. The important thing, is to take responsibility for what we create as reflections. It's all amazing learning, after all!

We are so, so lucky!

dana:anad  

p.s. get the mirror thang? grOOvy bAby!

yOu ArE iN YoUr oWn mOvIe! mAkE it aMaZinG!

hEy aMAzing yOu!

Remember a couple of weeks ago when I was blogging about the made-up STORIES we create in our minds about what other people think? (cuz, you all know we can't crawl up inside people's heads or read their minds) . . . and that we can choose NOT to believe the stories?
And also, that we don't have to listen to our gross, yucky, mean inner (s)ELF?--we can tell him or her to shut the front door and take a hike (or, in a more loving fashion, we could send your (s)ELF on an all-expenses paid vacation to Bermuda!) 
What if . . . (mind boggling thought coming on . . . disregard in advance if too scary. . .) the stuff we make up about what EVERYBODY thinks about us is actually the same stuff that we FEAR everybody thinks about us---and the same stuff that our mean inner (s)ELF beats us over the head about? (so, it's all actually, really, and truly about how we feel about ourselves... sorry! I know cuz I've been there, believe me!) 
LoVe stop: Kids Giving Free Hugs! What Could be Better?

So, like, for example, other people are, like, YOUR personal big huge movie screen--and YOU project the scary stuff YOU feel about YOURself on their screens and view it, and go, 
"OMG! THEY (note you are not focusing on yourself here) are sOsOsoSo mean (or rude, or ______ fill in the blank), I can't believe they (note you are not focusing on yourself here) would think that about me!"
Hmnnn. . . and Yike-eys! What if it's always about you? and the meaning you put onto the people and things that happen to you in your life?
CrAP, dAnA--SOUNDS LIKE A LOT OF RESPONSIBILITY! . . . 
And that's the point. . . 
Go(o)D News and bAd nEws: You are in charge of you! You get to cReAtE yOuR liFe! Problem is, it's easier to blame others for what is going on, how we are feeling, and the general circumstances of our existence.
QUESTion: Would you rather be the hero(ine) of your own journey (in charge)? or, the victim (everybody does stuff TO you? ...so sad...)
Personally, I want to be the super sparkly heroine with the short yellow orange peel cape, the pink high-tops, and the yellow-dangly, multi-flowered tiara!

All bow down! nOw! (jK!)
lOvE and LuVe,
;) pRinCesS dAna

Embrace it All . . .

HeY aLL! 

Letting others be free means leaving them alone to be their oWn fReE bad selves...(not really, but themselves . . .). It's not really our business, where they are, or what they do... cuz if we don't like what they do, say, believe or N+E=ThiNG, we have a choice to just walk away . . .  without hating on them, (however, it is possibly our business to tell them how we feel...more about that later...)

NE way, like I was telling you the other day, I have spent a lot of NRG in my days wishing people in my life would change (or want to change --FOR ME...you know, so I could feel better by being in control and get my needs met from them OUT(side): IN(side)! embarrassingly dramatic...). What I know now, is that people don't change (much) unless they want to (and not cuz I want them to . . . CRaP! and unCrAp . . .). whew...that takes the pressure off to control everyone else's destiny...thanks!

SUPER QUESTION OF THE DAY:

Would you ever look at like, a sunflower and expect it to grow into a rose (cuz you like roses better and that's what you want on your table?)...
and there's more (sorry . . .) Would you ever expect a sunflower to grow faster just because you gave it more water and super duper fertilizer...and...expect it to grow into a rose, still?

How about appreciating a sunflower for its sunflowery-self and a rose for its rosy-ness? And, if you don't like the sunflower, just walk away and choose something else (without haTinG on it)? and same with the RoSe?

Hmnnn...kinda freaky? (i personally like clover, myself!)

just sayin'-----

fLuFFy puPpies and raInBoWs and pink ponies, too!

;) dana