Friday, July 31, 2015

LoVe !$%##

Hey fun free folks! 

Have you ever noticed that many people spend a lot of their time focusing on things they don’t like or what bothers them. Sometimes, we are that person . . . either focusing on negative stuff about ourselves (mean inner (S)ELF) or other people. If we don't catch it, this behavior can drain us of our energy FAST!!!! Today let's celebrate: 
WhAt We LoVE!

Here's an amazing video from 
SoulPancake
(of the OprahWinfreyNetwork)
a team of people who basically share the love,
and who 
ask life's BIG questions!
I personally like to write stuff down in a journal every day. Do you have a journal? If you want, take out a piece of paper and for each category, list three things you LoVe; otherwise, just think about the stuff on this list.

3 activities you LoVe:

3 foods you LoVe:
3 people you LoVe:
3 books you LovE:
3 songs you LoVe:
3 objects you LoVe:
3 things you LovE about your life:
3 things you LovE about yourself:
Did you know that our thoughts make a huge difference in how we feel, and if we choose amazing thoughts, it can help us feel, well . . . amazing!

What if: Every time you felt mad, or irritated, or even sad, lonely, or tired.  .  . You looked at your list of things you LoVe and chose to focus on being psyched for all the good stuff  instead of being miserable?
What amazing shifts might occur?
Just sayin'...
Lots of LoVe!

Dana

Thursday, July 30, 2015

I LiKe (funfree)Me!


Hey All!

A few days ago, I wrote about being perfect, and Guess What!?

I have tried to be perfect all my life and, of course, have never gotten there (cuz it doesn't exist... DUH!!!@#@#@#@#@#@#$@) . . . AND I have been constantly been frustrated and mad at myself . . . be cuz' of:
here it comes . . .
                        here it comes . . .
                                                wait for it . . .
                                                                   wait for it. . .
my inner mean voice (which I am going to start calling my inner mean (s)ELF, by the way--after all, elves are a little bit naughty, aren't they?). Your inner mean (s)ELF is that voice inside of you who is constantly bugging you about not being (fill in the blank) enough. Some grown-ups and therapists and counselor types alsocall it (s)ELF-talk.

Here's a picture of one of these naughty little elves, drawn by my daughter, Chloe (she told me mine is a boy, and I believe her . . .  ):
So, part of my growing up has been accepting myself, being nice to myself, and learning how to like me, myself, and I . . . which is not easy! ;)
Often, it's easier to be mean to yourself then to actually be kind to yourself, especially when that inner mean (s)ELF voice gets really, 
                     really,
                           really,
                                 LOUD  and SaSsY !#?!
TOP SECRET INFORMATION (don't tell anyone...): I have a friend who actually hugs herself first thing every morning! And even if that sounds SO RaNdoM to you . . . it just means that she is learning how to like herself (BTW--she is a grownup, if you can believe it!).

I'm not saying you should actually hug yourself in the morning (although I highly recommend it...); I'm just asking you to think about whether you act like U LIKE YOU!? 
In the meantime, here is a FaBuLous video for you---HUGS to YoU . . . and BoNuS . . . they are FREE!

FrEe HuGs!

I hope you have a beautiful day!

hugs and hugs and hugs!

Dana

Wednesday, July 29, 2015

Happiness . . .

Tell everyone you know:
“My happiness depends on me, so you’re off the hook.”
And then demonstrate it.
Be happy, no matter what they’re doing. 
Practice feeling good, no matter what.
And before you know it, you will not give anyone else responsibility for the way you feel — 
and then, you’ll love them all.
Because the only reason you don’t love them,
is because you’re using them as your excuse to not feel good.
—- Abraham Hicks

Tuesday, July 28, 2015

Be PERFECTly imPERFECT!

"Perfect: 2" 2011, acrylic on canvas, 8" x 10"
David Culver, amazing artist

I think we all struggle with trying to be "perfect" from time to time; but isn't it true that some of us actually make it a full time job?
(...I feel sTreSs coming on just writing that!).
Do you feel like you have to be
perfect?
Do you expect others to be
perfect?
What does that mean, anyway?

I see kids in my classes every day who have a tough time being anything less than perfect. This looks different depending on the kid:
  • Some kids are so stressed about being "perfect" that they show me their work over and over, asking, "Is this okay?" (and repeating the same question over and over throughout my English class). Sounds like a lot of work, doesn't it?
  • Other kids are so scared they won't get an "A" that they get stuck, like, on a writing assignment, before they even begin...these kiddos sometimes sit in my class and are kind of paralyzed from the beginning. Painful, huh?
  • Another way this shows up is with kids who pretend they don't care, or say the assignment is stupid, so they make excuses about why they won't even try the assignment. They would actually rather not even try than maybe not do it perfectly. This is a really tough one!
My heart goes out to all these kids. I GeT iT, because I did that stuff when I was in school, too (but not the third one, because I tried to be so "perfect"that I would have never disobeyed a teacher or turned in a late assignment). 
SO . . . what's the deal, anyway?#!

Where do we get the idea that we need to do everything perfectly? Like, have perfect bodies, look perfect, act perfect, feel perfect (in other words, not ever have negative feelings)? I don't get it.
(insert deep belly breath, here . . .)
Trying to be perfect is pointless because we can never get there! It doesn't exist because we are human and we screw up! 
(surprise!...Note: Your parents are human, too, so don't expect them to be perfect. either. Thanks!)

Anyway, I know now that to be human is to be imPERFECT... and THAT is PERFECT! (and it takes the pressure off, too.!). That means accepting things just the way they are, even if they're not perfect.

I've noticed that when I resist what IS, I create HUGE StReSs for myself. Honestly, I create this stress by how I think about it--which means, I do it to myself (kind of like the inner mean voice, remember?). Yikes, that means I'm responsible and I'm the one who has the power to change . . . change how I think about this stuff! (oh, that's kind of a relief, actually). . .

Here's how: for example, if I am waiting in a long line:
  • I can sit there and get mad and start making up stories, criticizing what is going on and complain about the situation. And guess what? If I look for crappy stuff about the situation, I just see more and more evidence to back my made up stories or thoughts and that will make me miserable! As Eckhart Tolle writes, “The primary cause of unhappiness is never the situation but your thoughts about it.”   A New Earth: Awakening to Your Life's Purpose
  • Good thing I have a choice. I would rather stand in line and look around, smile at others, make conversation with people around me, plan an adventure, and enjoy myself! I get to pick my own reaction! Whew!
Whatever is in front of me, whatever happens, is, indeed: perfect (even if it's not).

Yesterday, I read an awesome blog by an amazingly inspirational guy named Kute Jackson "Trying to be perfect is a waste of time" (click on the title if you want to check it out--it's a little more of a grown up read).

I'm so glad I'm finally getting that perfection doesn't exist...that helps me breathe better. And it allows me to be more accepting of others (for not being perfect) and myself (for not being perfect), too.

When I focus on growing from situation (instead of doing everything perfectly), I can live a happier life! Being PERFECTly imPERFECT!
Yay!

Lots of LoVe!

Dana

Monday, July 27, 2015

Ahhhh . . . sLeEp

Dear Readers;

I am at our lake place, and last night, I went to bed early and I slept in a bit. I could hardly move my body it was so well-rested when I awakened. There is nothing more restorative in life than . . . sleep! I love getting blankied-up in a huge pile of comforters and snuggling in for naps or for a great night's sleep.


Sleep has been an on-and-off challenge for me throughout my life, and Gabby Bernstein's vlog below is about sleep as a spiritual practice. Sounds a bit out there, but it's true that sleeping is a nurturing womblike time when your mind and body can restore themselves so we can awaken refreshed and ready to meet our days with loving expectation!


In the morning, I love to just lay in our ginormous bed, listening to my own breathing, to the sounds of my husband getting ready for work, to my puppy sleeping next to me, to my daughter in the next room, and to the murmur of our beautiful home (my son has a man cave two floors below so I can't hear him . . .).

The sounds of air conditioning and fans remind me of the breathing LIFE of our home . . . and it's comforting, warm, safe, and whimsical.


A wonderful place to rest and gather myself together.


How have you created a loving, nurturing space for you and your family?


Lots of love,

Dana