feeLs niCe 2 B, weLL, nICe!

This past 5 years has definitely been a time of facing my fears and choosing love over fear! Like, as in doing what's right for me (despite what other people say about it, how they judge me, and the stories they make up about mY TrUtH!)--even thought these are really stories I make up about what stories they are making up--know what I mean? (METASTORIES--you know: stories about stories!) Ha! I am not really sure why I keep worrying about others, but it keeps happening, so I must still need to work on that lesson. Thanks, You-niverse! (not ... jk . . . but I'm a bit sick and tired of it . . .).

Here's how fear has operated for me:

• I used to try to be perfecKt so nobody would find fault with me
• And, when people did find fault or criticize me, just deny it, or make an excuse for it, or kiss their butt enough to change their mind about how bad or wrong or stUpiD I was . . . (super InAuTheNtiC of me) . . . but it was how I survived . . . ;( BTW: I wonder why I allowed these people to hang around me in the first place when it felt like such crap). Can you relate? 
• NOTE TO SELF: get these iCky tOXic people oUT! Send them off with loVE and comPAssIOn, but SHOW THEM THE freakin' DOOR!
• DOUBLE NOTE TO SELF: get these iCky tOXic InnEr MEan self oUT! Send her off with loVE and comPAssIOn, but SHOW HER THE freakin' DOOR! 

Oh--wait--since this is all in my mind. . . maybe this is really about me? Hmnnn. . . .

What I'm learning, is that just 'cuz someone thinks or says something about me (even if it's ME, in my mind), doesn't mean it's automatically true! That includes the mean crappy crap I tell mEself! 

Also, I am learning to not even waste my EnergY defending mE(self) to these people (or ME) 'cuz it is draining, not true, and the stuff people (and I) say and do to me isn't really about me, anyway.

Do you know that the way people treat and what they say @ you isn't ever really about you? It's about tHeM and who tHeY are and what stories they make up about You! Isn't that weird? 

Which means by default (scary thing to tell you, here, but I'm just being real . . .) the way yOu treat others (including yourself) is neVer about ThEm and wHo you are and WhAt storiEs you make up about them! It's all projection.

CraP on a sTicK!

My daughter was noodling (thinking) out loud in the car yesterday and she was telling me about some kids who talk "stuff" about her at camp--and she felt kinda bad. And I asked her if the stuff was true.

She said, "Nope." 

Then, I asked her this: "If someone told you your skin is purple, would you believe it?" 

She laughed and  said, "Of course not, 'cuz it's not true." 

And I said, "Same thing. If you know it's not true, then it's not!" 

Then, she told me that some of the spiritual stuff I talk about is confusing for her--and, of course, I told her it's confusing to me, too! HAHAHAHAHAHA!

To be clear: setting boundaries around how others treat you is totally healthy (see above about showing them the door . . .). AS my biG bRo told me one morning (we both had recently "broken up" with some ickies in our lives and we were sharing our war stories . . . 'sup Christopher? I KNEW you'd be pleased!):

You get to be youR LOveLy seLf, BUT YOU ARE NOT A DOORMAT FOR PEOPLE TO WALK ALL OVER!

So, MEet you fears and follow your dreams, FFPps--one teeny tiny baby step at a time, and find pEaCE in what's right for you!

LoVe U to the mOOn and bacK!

;) dana

In Memory (I am) . . .

Memorial Day

05.30.17.

Hey there,
I've always had a tricky relationship with Memorial Day . . . and, sometimes, well, LIFE. Jeesh . . . (don't tell anyone . . .)

Meaning: I live in constant negotiation among the past, present, and future.
It's my sister, Shelley's, birthday next weekend, and my mom and my sister are going to both my dad's and my brother's graves today.
It's just so messy--the grave thing followed by the birthday celebration thing. It's super jumbly to me--kind of like life, I suppose. I may just join them for the lunch part . . . not the grave visit part.

Confession: I've only been to my dad's grave once, and he died over 25 years ago. The time I went, I crumpled to the ground and scratched the dirt and wailed out loud. It was one of those things that was both euphoric and debilitating. After awhile, I strangely ended up "watching" myself in the dramatic movie version of visiting my dad's grave, and felt oddly detached--and I had to be careful that I didn't add it to my story of "what has happened to me," if you know what I mean. He had already died, and I was having a fit at his gravesite-- and I need to be done with adding to my story, my war wounds.
It just gets boring.
I can picture myself telling it over and over and BLAH, BLAH, BLAH.
Give it a rest, already.

Flash forward additional confession: I have only been to my brother's grave once-- on the day of his funeral; the day he was buried. I haven't seen his gravestone.
I figure I'll know when the right time is to go there, if ever.
One thing I do know for sure is, that he's not there. He's actually on a beach, or by a campfire, hanging out with our dad.
They're both smoking and chillin' in their Speedos.
Having cocktails. Lucky bastards.

What I know: My life is here on this planet, on this plane. In the present. And I am so grateful to be where I am NOW.
I try to stay present and in relationship with those who are smack in front of me. And I do honor my past, and attempt to stay open to whatever possibilities the Universe may hand me in the future.

But for now, I am going to nap with my dog, Teddy, and my amazing partner, Keith (aka K-dog).

This is happening FOR me (not TO me), NOW!

Amen.

everYthIng iS oN pUrPosE . . .

****************************************************

beware...the content of this blog may apply to gRowN uPs ;)

****************************************************

One thing I have said to my own kids and my students, too, is that: 

everything happens for a reason. 

We may not always know the lessons in the stuff that happens to us, and that's because we sometimes get so caught up and attached to what WE WANT TO HAPPEN! 

In other words, WE WANT CONTROL, RIGHT????

FLASHBACK to my chubby, freckly, middle-school self: 

I can remember trying to get other kids to like me or be nice to me. That sounds so weird to me as I write it down as a grown up (although I must admit I still catch myself doing it!!!! YIKES! Please don't tell anyone!)

STORY:

In 6th grade, I remember "liking" a boy named Kenny (last name to remain anonymous... shout out to Kenny if you're reading my blog!), and I wanted him to "go" with me (whatever that means in middle school...). I gave him, like, over 20 packs of gum, wrote notes to him, took ridiculous detours through my school so I would see him between classes, and lots of other cRaZy stuff.
...what we do for love... ;)

GUESS WHAT?... Kenny never "liked" me back :(  sad face  and, of course, in my mind I made up that it was because I was chubby and freckly (he never told me that, though--he barely talked to me at all)!   DANG!@@#^%&% . . . that was a lot of gum . . .

ANOTHER STORY:

I know you can all relate---like, for example, thinking:

If I keep kissing butt to the kids who (I think) don't like me . . .

• maybe they'll stop treating me like crap
• maybe they'll quit taking my stuff or copying off my homework
• or even stop hating me on Facebook
• or at the very least maybe they will LEAVE ME THE HE(LL)CK ALONE! 
• (I can remember actually praying about this one as a kid...)

When I was really in a fantasy land, the stuff I made up in my head was even more wishful--like, for example, thinking:

• maybe they'll invite me to their lunch table (that's a huge one!!!!)
• maybe I'll get to go to one of their sleepovers
• maybe we could go to sUmMeR CaMp together!

You get the picture, right? 
Trying to manage what other people think or feel about us is living from the OUT:SIDE IN. Living from the OUT:SIDE IN is, quite frankly, a butt load of work. But here's the good news:

You can relax... (actually, take a deep breath now! I am controlling you! LOL!)

Living from the IN:SIDE OUT, not the OUT:SIDE IN, is much easier! And, (top secret information) even some of GrOwN uPs don't know this...but you can share it with them, if you think they are ready...

What I know now, is that I can't get other people to like me, be nice to me, or anything else! My job is to be myself (who, BTW, is very likable!), like myself,  and surround myself with others who like me for me. I don't actually have to DO anything; just Be myself. Whew!

I wish I would have known this stuff earlier...(which is one awesome reason I started this blog, really).

Actually, knowing now that this stuff is just plain out of my control is such a relief! 

And guess what? I get to relax, enjoy myself, and just be the best person/mom/teacher/friend/partner I can be... and I think I actually do a better job of all those things when I am not freaking out trying to control things on the OUT:SIDE all the time!!!!!

sAmE sAmE: onLy U cAn cHanGe . . .

"Friends can help each other.

A true friend is someone who lets you have total freedom to be yourself-and especially to feel. 

Or, not feel. 

Whatever you happen to be feeling at the moment is fine with them. 

That's what real love amounts to-

letting a person be what he really is." 

- Jim Morrison, songwriter

HeLLo dEaR OneS,

hOpe this message finds you amazing . . . or not. Let me rephrase that: hOpe this message finds you wherever you are.

Caught up with one of my besties today and it turns out we both had kind of a rough week (yay! it's Friday!). I'm so glad I have a friend who I can be totally honest with, and who still thinks I'm amazing, even if things aren't all wOnDerFuL! 

Anyway, as we were catching up on the phone & exchanging stories about the messed up stuff that had happened to us and how dreAdFul it is, after all (well, not really, but I'll explain . . .).

As I listened and talked and we regurgitate the details, it ALL began to sound very fAmiLiar.

Now, I've known my friend for almost 10 years now, and more recently she has become one of my closest chums. And what I realized today, was that we have been telling the same stories (different specific content, but basically the same story line--) OVER & OVER & OVER & OVER & OVER & OVER & OVER & OVER & OVER & OVER & OVER & OVER & . . . (you get the point).

And, in the middle of the conversation we had kind of an AHA moment (enter parade with trumpets blaring, etc.), that our experiences and stories are 100% about US (not about the other people or circumstances we were complaining about). My friend curiously said that the only thing we can change about our stories is US! I think what she meant is that these same stories will keep showing up until we can react differently to people and situations that trigger us, set boundaries with with the same people and situations, and then let go of the story and focus on taking care of oUrSelves and living in our own personal integrity. 

After all,

life is one big

MIRROR:RORRIM

So,

I suppose that means if I change myself, 

I will change what I see in the mirror.

Hmmn . . . . . 

Personally, my story is getting pretty boring to me, and I'm not so sure telling it anymore is making my relationships any better, or any more deep and lasting (although my friends and family have, in fact, been pretty patient...thanks aLL! I promise I've been working on dropping it!).

I BELIEVE IT'S

TIME

FOR ME TO DROP MY STORY--again.

So, how do we drop our story from the past and live in the present moment? And, at the same time, step forward into the possibilities for our future?

I'm going to noodle on that overnight . . . and talk to some of my people. I obviously need some help with it, or I wouldn't be attracting the same stuff over and over. Do you have any ideas? Let me know in the comments!

Once upon a time, . . . Once upon a time, . . . THE END! 

LoVE,

DaNa

It's Time to Drop Our Stories . . .

I was thinking about the made-up STORIES we create in our minds about what other people think? (cuz, you all know we can't crawl up inside people's heads or read their minds) . . . and that we can choose NOT to believe or even listen to the stories?

And also, that we don't have to listen to our gross, yucky, mean inner critical (s)ELF?--we can tell him or her to shut the front door and take a hike (or, in a more loving fashion, we could send your (s)ELF on an all-expenses paid vacation to Bermuda!) 

What if . . . (mind boggling thought coming on . . . disregard in advance if too scary. . .) the stuff we make up about what EVERYBODY thinks about us is actually the same stuff that we FEAR everybody thinks about us---and the same stuff that our mean inner (s)ELF beats us over the head about? (so, it's all actually, really about what we fear and how we feel about ourselves . . . sorry! I know cuz I've been there, believe me!)

So, for example, other people are like YOUR personal big huge movie screen--and YOU project the scary stuff YOU feel about YOURself on their screens and view it, and go, 

"OMG! THEY (note you are not focusing on yourself here) are sOsOsoSo mean (or rude, or ______ fill in the blank), I can't believe they (note you are not focusing on yourself here) would think that about me!"

Hmnnn. . . and Yike-eys! What if it's always about you? and the meaning you put onto the people and things that happen to you in your life? You don't have to listen to them, after all . . .

CrAP, dAnA--SOUNDS LIKE A LOT OF RESPONSIBILITY! . . . 

And that's the point. . . 
Go(o)D News and bAd nEws: You are in charge of you! You get to cReAtE yOuR liFe! Problem is, it's easier to blame others for what is going on, how we are feeling, and the general circumstances of our existence.

QUESTion: Would you rather be the hero(ine) of your own journey (in charge)? or, the victim (everybody does stuff TO you? ...so sad...)

Personally, I want to be the super sparkly heroine with the short yellow orange peel cape, the pink high-tops, and the yellow-dangly, multi-flowered tiara!

As I am changing over into the New Year, I have been thinking about the one best gifts I can give myself. What came up for me was this: giving up my stories.

People by nature are storytellers--and one of the things we love most, is to listen to a good story. We all remember the stories of our childhood--whether they are fairytales, family legends passed down from our grandparents, our favorite myths and legends, or classic tales of good and evil. Stories help us make sense of our complicated lives, our relationships, and of both our good and challenging experiences.

The thing is, when we are told stories, we pretty much know that they aren't true; they are fictional. But sometimes, a really amazing storyteller can engage us so fully, that we forget we're hearing a story because it seems so dang real. I mean, who doesn't love a good story?

Anyway, enter me, Dana: master storyteller. 

I have been telling myself stories my entire life--some good and empowering (especially when I was little and I thought I could rule the freakin' world!---you know, SUPER CAPITAL D-DANA), but many have also been critical, contemptuous, and disempowering  (especially when I live from the outside in and believe what others say and think about me . . . and when I give a lot of power to the media--all outside stuff). The latter stories have kept me small and fearful--you know, small, lower-case d-dana.

When I look back on my life, I can chronicle the stages of stories I told myself; I won't bore you with the particulars, but let's just say that I have been telling my stories over and over (to myself and others) until they have become true--even if they started out as fiction. 

I have realized just in the past few years that my stories are, well, mine (OMG!)--and mostly FICTION. I mean, I am the one to assign meaning to the events and relationships in my life, and I get to choose the stories that operate and work for me. Which also means (thank GOD) that I get to drop the stories that don't work anymore.

And guess what? Some of my stories are getting so damn boring and old. I just can't listen to them anymore, and I can only imagine how sick and tired my friends are of the stories that keep me pissing & moaning in a completely pathetic victim role. BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH (kind of like the teacher in Charlie Brown, right?). These stories have kept me in fear, and have prevented me from stepping outside my comfort zone into brave, passionate, and energetic ME. 

I mean, SHUT UP ALREADY! It's time to drop my stories. 

Here are some of the stories I've "heard" throughout my life (TOP SECRET: MOST OF THEM ARE MY OWN, LOL!):

• my family was dysfunctional 
• there's not enough money for that
• the government controls everything
• nobody likes me
• I'm not smart enough
• guys always treat me like crap
• I didn't go to the right school
• I'm not skinny enough
• my parents never understood me
• where's my stuff?
• I don't have a partner
• I was never pretty/handsome enough
• I shouldn't have to work so hard
• I don't have enough experience
• there's no quality single people out there
• my parents are embarrassing
• I was supposed to be taken care of
• I'm a single parent
• I grew up in a small town
• I don't have the right connections
• someone is better than no one
• I'm not one of the lucky ones
• I'm screwed no matter what

Now, I could take any one of these statements and weave an intricate and detailed story around it--filling in all the characters, the setting, the conflict, and the plot (btw, these stories have a circular plot--as in, they always start over and end at the beginning again!). In general, I will say that the specifics don't matter, but the general storyline is what keeps coming back into our lives. 

AND GUESS WHAT?

We choose it cuz' we keep retelling it, and the more we keep the story alive, the more we draw back into our lives the same old story! Get it? We create our reality based on our story . . . which is  precisely  why  we need  to

            D

               R

                    O

                         P

the fear-based stories that no longer move us toward our biggest, juiciest, most-powerful selves!

I can tell I'm close to ready to drop a story when I start to get sick of hearing it myself, or when one of my closest friends asks, "When are you going to be done with THAT story?" In which case I might keep retelling it anyway, knowing the sails are ready to drop soon . . .

What are some of the stories that you are ready to drop? I challenge you to list 5 stories you are bored of hearing yourself tell (if you can't think of any, ask your closest chums . . . they'll have a list in no time!). I can't think of a better time than New Year's Eve to DROP our stories. When you think of your own life, what stories have you told yourself that have kept you in a place of paralysis, apathy, resentment, or fear? 

I'm not saying the stories are bad and/or wrong in any way . . . as a matter of fact, I thank many of my stories for sustaining me and keeping me safe when I didn't know when to turn or I didn't have anyone to talk to. But there comes a time when we must move past our stories and weave new, empowering tales.

While I believe these stories have a time and purpose in our lives, we all get to  place in our inner work when it's time to let go and rewrite our stories. SO, what next? This part may take some time, but don't bypass it--it may also get boring and repetitive (just like your story, get it?). You can either do this in writing, or with a tape recorder.

1. First, look at your initial list of old stories. Choose the story that causes you the most pain or that keeps you the most paralyzed and/or stuck.
2. Let a trusted friend know that you are doing this process; if you don't feel comfortable alone, have your friend stay with you while you undergo this process.
3. Sit quietly and comfortably, and really become the character in your own story. What do you smell? What do you see? Who is with you? What do you experience? What words and phrases do you hear over and over again? What pain do you keep re-experiencing in this story?
4. Light a candle, and get even more comfortable.
5. Either write out your story on paper or tell your story into a tape recorder. Be as detailed and repetitive as you can--your story may be 3 pages or it may be 25, it may be 15 minutes or 2 hours--use your intuition as a guide; you will know when you are done.
6. Do some reflection about what this story has cost you--in your relationships, in your values, in your lifestyle, your financial well-being, your work life, your family, and whatever else comes to mind. 
7. Also reflect on how the story has sustained you and helped you survive and even thrive in the face of hardship. Remember, your story has served a purpose, or it would not be part of your experience. Thank your story for its place in your journey.
8. Be kind to yourself throughout this process, and be grateful for your story.
9. Either read your story to a trusted friend, or listen to the tape recording with a friend. Listen to it as many times as it takes to get to the point where you can no longer listen--until you can practically recite it word for word or you may even find yourself giggling! REMEMBER: it's fiction.
10. When you feel a shift in your attachment to the story, do a ritual around letting go of the story. First, take ownership for your story, bless your story, and thank your story for serving you. If you wrote it out, you may want to burn the story, extinguish the candle, and take a cleansing bath. You'll know what to do.
11. After you have completed this exercise, see how much lighter you feel; you may also feel sadness, or grief, or an "emptying" feeling. It's all good, and part of the process. 

You may feel inklings of your old story coming back from time to time--that's natural. Your story has been around for awhile. If that's the case, don't panic--you can simply notice the story's return, acknowledge it like a vaguely familiar face, wave to it briefly, and turn the other way.

It's time to exist in the present--What's your (new & improved) story going to be? You are the creator of your own story . . . and it's a hero(ine)'s journey . . .

Lots of Love!

Dana

HapPy (LovE) yOu yEaR !

hEy aMAzing yOu!

I have been blogging about the made-up STORIES we create in our minds about what other people think (cuz, you all know we can't crawl up inside people's heads or read their minds) . . . and that we can choose NOT to believe the stories?

And also, that we don't have to believe our own STORIES we've been holding on to for a long time. And, we also don't have to listen to our gross, yucky, mean inner (s)ELF?--we can tell him or her to shut the front door and take a hike (or, in a more loving fashion, we could send your (s)ELF on an all-expenses paid vacation to Bermuda!) 

What if . . . (mind boggling thought coming on . . . disregard in advance if too scary. . .) the stuff we make up about what EVERYBODY thinks about us is actually the same stuff that we FEAR everybody thinks about us---and the same stuff that our mean inner (s)ELF beats us over the head about? (so, it's all actually, really, and truly about how we feel about ourselves... sorry! I know cuz I've been there, believe me!)

So, like, for example, other people are, like, YOUR personal big huge movie screen--and YOU project the scary stuff YOU feel about YOURself on their screens and view it, and go, 

"OMG! THEY (note you are not focusing on yourself here) are sOsOsoSo mean (or rude, or ______ fill in the blank), I can't believe they (note you are not focusing on yourself here) would think that about me!"

Hmnnn. . . and Yike-eys! What if it's always about you? and the meaning you put onto the people and things that happen to you in your life?

CrAP, dAnA--SOUNDS LIKE A LOT OF RESPONSIBILITY! . . . 

And that's the point. . .

Go(o)D News and bAd nEws: You are in charge of you! You get to cReAtE yOuR liFe! Problem is, it's easier to blame others for what is going on, how we are feeling, and the general circumstances of our existence.

QUESTion: Would you rather be the hero(ine) of your own journey (in charge)? or, the victim (everybody does stuff TO you? ...so sad...)

Personally, I want to be the super sparkly heroine with the short yellow orange peel cape, the pink high-tops, and the yellow-dangly, multi-flowered tiara!

All bow down! nOw! (jK!)

lOvE and LuVe,
;) pRinCesS dAna

cHaNgE yOuR vIbRatIoN . . . cHanGe yOur LiFe!

"A belief is only a thought you continue to think.

A belief is nothing more than a chronic pattern of thought,

and you have the ability --

if you try even a little bit--

 to begin a new pattern, to tell a new story, 

to achieve a different vibration,

to change your point of attraction."

--Esther Hicks 

Yesterday I was listening to a CD from Esther Hicks called "Ask & it Will be Given." It is about energy and The Law of Attraction, which basically holds that whatever we put out into the Universe as a vibrational state comes back to us. I was really grateful to be reminded that we all have a natural state of well-being, and we can choose to either resist or allow that natural state.

It also discussed that we can gauge how connected we are to Source by our emotions; in other words, the better we feel, the more in alignment we are with the Yes!, the I AM. So we can watch with detachment our emotions like a guidance system. We also can listen (with detachment) to our thoughts, which are our vibration--the point of attraction.

So (this is totally mind-boggling), if we want to attract something different in our lives, the place to start is by changing our thoughts! And, if we are having resistant thoughts, we can change them to from resisting to allowing.

Wow. I think I have been seeing this backwards for much of my life. 

As Hicks puts it (paraphrased): 

We look our whole lives to control our outside surroundings and attach ourselves to what we observe; we think that when we have __________, we will finally feel better.

The reality is that our natural state of well-being is always available to us because we can learn to CHOOSE better feeling thoughts to feel better--before  our negative vibration manifests in the world in the physical form.

These are the processes we must pay attention to consciously if we wish to become intentional, deliberate creators.

We must awaken.

We must shed our unconsciousness.

We must raise our collective vibration.

In Gabrielle Bernstein's newest book May Cause Miracles, guess what she writes about? Energy. 

Here are some of her words:

"Your body is a molecular structure that is always vibrating energy. That energy is positive when thoughts are positive, and it is negative when your thoughts are negative. Our energy fields are like magnets; they attract their likeness. Therefore, if your energy is negative . . . guess what? You're attracting negativity into your life. [ . . . ] The miracle-minded approach shows you how to shift your thoughts and energy, thereby attracting positivity into your life."

Bernstein, May Cause Miracles, p. 7

So, whatever energy we put out into the Universe in the form of thoughts comes back to us in the original state--in the same form of energy. Ask yourself:

Can you shift your vibration from negative states to focus more intentionally on service, gratitude, forgiveness, and love?

Can't wait to hear from you!

Lots of love,

Dana

FORGIVENESS

LoVe 2 U!

cAn u sTand iT!?

Oh dEar oNes!

I am glad that I'm learning to BE PRESENT with my friends without trying to:

• FIX them and their problems
• rescue them
• tell them what to do (none of my business unless they ask--my friends are groWn-uPs!)
• judge them and break up with them 'cuz they are sOsosOosO BROKEN and I am so evolved (good one, huh? I used to tell myself that ALOT!)

A really beautiful friend of mine actually used to listen to me doing the same crazy crap all the time, nod, and after I was done ranting and raving, would gently ask,"What are you going to do?" and I was like . . . (well, first I have to tell you secretly that I was a little pissed and surprised 'cuz  have been allowing people to tell me what to do all my life AND. . . get this. . . I WANTED TO BE RESCUED . . . 'cuz I didn't feel powerful . . . and, I really didn't know what to do sometimes . . .)

Anyway, back to the start of my sentence.

A really beautiful friend of mine actually used to listen to my crazy crap all the time, nod, and after I was done ranting and raving, would gently ask,"What do you want?" & "What are you going to do?" and I was like (in my grown up spot), "Oh my God! This friend really believes I can solve this myself! Wow! Maybe I can!"---totally new!"

I AM SUPER-CAPITAL "D" DANA!

And now, I can pass on this wisdom to myself and the people I love (you know, like, as in EVERYONE!)

So, as I started in yesterday, next time I speak with my amazing and capable (and dramatic and crazy) friend--

forgiveness

&

gratitude

So today I'll write a bit @ forgiveness:

TOP SECRET: It's not about the person you're forgiving; it's about you and your own freedom. As Chopra writes,

"No one is wrong. In the eyes of love, all people are doing the best they can from their own levels of consciousness."

~ Deepak Chopra

Just so you know, that doesn't make right the crappy stuff that people have done. Horrible atrocities happen everyday in our world--murder, rape, suicide, child abuse, theft, natural disaster like tornados, hurricanes, 

and the list goes on and on . . . 

and guess what? . . . pain is part of life. And, thankfully, so is JOY! What I am saying, is,  that it's our choice what we do with our pain.

I know people who have been in pain, drama, and in victim mode 4 FOREVER! And, I used to be there, too! And finally, I got sick of it. I got sick of feeling like crap, I got sick of my same old victim story, and I had to shift or die a slow spiritual death. The "shift" hit the fan, and I was presented with a choice.

StoRy (you're welcome! . . .): When I was super especially miserable at one point in my life, I began to run--a lot. And I ran, . . . and ran, . . . and ran, . . . and ran (maybe a bit too much, actually, I have that tendency, if you haven't noticed . . .). I was so burdened, stressed out, burned out, & sad & exhausted one morning, but--I still went running before my kids got up. I turned left onto the three-mile course I did, and I saw about a 15 pound ginormous rock. 

Something told me to pick it up . . . and guess what? I ran the whole damn 3 miles carrying that 15 lb. rock! And when I was  done, I put down the rock, and I felt as light as air!

That's what forgiveness does.

It frees us.

It makes us lighter.

It means we quit judging others

and making them "wrong" so our egos can be "right", "superior",

and 

ALL

THAT!

(and it takes the pressure off . . .)

Anyway, just so you know, I totally get that it's easier to stay stuck in being mad, right, offended, or disgusted by someone else's behavior (which conveniently takes the focus off of ourselves, get it?). BUT--it's only hurting you (& me & we!)

What teeny tiny thing can you 4-give today!?

Let us know in the comments!

SmooCH!

XOXOXOXOXOXOX dana

p.s here's what Deepak (I'm on a first name basis with him . . . not!) says about forgiveness . . . take a bite!

p.p.s. note the BliNgEd out gLaSSes! diamonds, no?

foLLoW uR hEART . . .

Max's bestie has a heart-shaped mouth!

(aPpLe sLiCe sMiLe!)

Saving the World

Today may my prayers help me realize
I cannot control everything.
To put the world in order,
We must first put the nation in order;
To put the nation in order,
We must first put the family in order;
To put the family in order,
We must first set our hearts right.
-- Confucius

GooD dAy aLL!

Happy WEdnesday! Well, it's no coincidence that this poem landed in my inbox this morning . . . just what I needed to read! The poem basically says that the only stuff we can control is within us . . . like in our own hearts and our own thoughts and behaviors. And, even if we want to have a HuGe gInorMous iMpaCt on our beloved planet, we have to begin with ourselves! As Gandhi encouraged,

"You must be the change 

you wish to see in the world."

Having company in my home sort of threw me for a loop last week, which isn't a bad thing at all--

even if things felt a bit, well,

tOpSY tUrVY--

it made me look at myself in a new way, and I was actually reminded of this important stuff:

• I am not in control of everyone else (duh . . . only me)
• Others do not have to be like me (like, in their personalities, habits, or timelines!)
• If I am upset about my situation, only I can turn it around and change my own mindset--
• Others cannot MAKE ME FEEL a certain way, how I interpret situations cause me MY OWN distress! My feelings are my own business!
• I can look at stuff and complain about it (VICTIM), or I can see the blEssIngs and gifTs (POWER) in whatever life presents me . . . you know, like, as in presents?

Which, as usual, brings me back to GrAtiTuDe (yay!). SO here are 3 (my magic number!) things I feel grateful for about my bestie and her family staying with us for a week:

1. My kids had sosososos much fun with Luigie the Yorkie and Coco the miniature Alaskan--we played and played in the yard and had doggie kissy parties!
2. I had a chance to spend wonderful heart time with my friend . . . 
3. We had yuMmY food! We barbecued, went to Perkin's, ate Bruegger's bagels everyday, and ordered Chinese takeout! Yum!
4. My kids loved having friends in the house--built in playmates and chums!

(ooPs . . .) that's 4. Oh well!

Anyway, I was able to turn around my super slumber party and make it AmAzIng! That's my (NEW) stoRy and I'm sticking to it! What story have you turned around? Leave me a comment and let me know!

Have a bEaUtiFul day!

;0) dana