Tuesday, July 31, 2012

fOR U: fOrGiVenEss (cont'd . . . )

Dear fun & freeGreatOnes!

I can't remember where, but I once read that painful events, relationships, and circumstances are presented to us so that we learn the gift of forgiveness. I wasn't really buying that, at first--it just seems so, like, unfair & sort of backwards and stuff!

I believe it now. 'Cuz no matter what, we can look to life as happening TO us (victim-y: NOthing we can do!), OR, we can look at our lives as happening FOR us (Power-fUl: we are in charge of our reactions! We are Large and in Charge of our own GrowTH!).

I don't know about you, but I, personally, like the second choice, where I am in charge.

. . . which gets me back to resentment & forgiveness. Know that forgiveness is really about US, not abut the person we are forgiving. Here's why . . . we can't control whether someone forgives us, but we absolutely can control our own shedding of resentment.

. . . notice the word resentment? the gross toxic energy of resentment is actually RE-SENT (to) ME(nt). In other words, it only hurts me. (btw: note the poopy color! iSh! ).

As Deepak Chopra writes:

Holding onto resentment is like 
holding your breath 
-- only you suffocate. 
@ DeepakChopra

And, just like the picture and the quote at the top of my blog, sometimes it takes time before we are ready and willing to let go of resentment and actually forgive others. And, (I've learned this the hard way)--just 'cuz you're sorry, doesn't mean someone else wants to necessarily forgive you (in which case, the work is for yOu to forgive yOu(rself)--yo.

Grown up stuff, huh? Good thing I'm starting to learn it as a middle-aged person! hahahahahahahahahahahahahaha hahahahahahahahah! lol!

Here's a beautiful meditation about forgiveness--for yourself or for others. Give it a try! Meditation calms my spirit and gives me clarity!

Meditation: Forgiveness

Take care! So much love!
;0) dana dana bo-bayna, banana-fana-fo-fayna, fee-fi-foh-fayna

Monday, July 30, 2012

@ FOR+GIVE-NESS (4-You, silly . . . gO 4 it !)

mOrE LoVe 2 U!
cAn u sTand iT!?
Oh dEar oNes!
So, yesterday I told the story of my super dramatic friend (also mE!) and getting emotionally barfed upon! I'm still feeling the effects of it (really) but am in a much better place knowing that I really and truly have the capacity to BE PRESENT with my friends without trying to:
  • FIX them and their problems
  • rescue them
  • tell them what to do (none of my business unless they ask--my friends are groWn-uPs!)
  • judge them and break up with them 'cuz they are sOsosOosO BROKEN and I am so evolved (good one, huh? I used to tell myself that ALOT!)
A really beautiful friend of mine actually used to listen to me doing the same crazy crap all the time, nod, and after I was done ranting and raving, would gently ask,"What are you going to do?" and I was like . . . (well, first I have to tell you secretly that I was a little pissed and surprised 'cuz  have been allowing people to tell me what to do all my life AND. . . get this. . . I WANTED TO BE RESCUED . . . 'cuz I didn't feel powerful . . . and, I really didn't know what to do sometimes . . .)

Anyway, back to the start of my sentence.

A really beautiful friend of mine actually used to listen to my crazy crap all the time, nod, and after I was done ranting and raving, would gently ask,"What do you want?" & "What are you going to do?" and I was like (in my grown up spot), "Oh my God! This friend really believes I can solve this myself! Wow! Maybe I can!"---totally new!


And now, I can pass on this wisdom to myself and the people I love (you know, like, as in EVERYONE!)

So, as I started in yesterday, next time I speak with my amazing and capable (and dramatic and crazy) friend--


So today I'll write a bit @ forgiveness:

TOP SECRET: It's not about the person you're forgiving; it's about you and your own freedom. As Chopra writes,

"No one is wrong. In the eyes of love, all people are doing the best they can from their own levels of consciousness."
~ Deepak Chopra

Just so you know, that doesn't make right the crappy stuff that people have done. Horrible atrocities happen everyday in our world--murder, rape, suicide, child abuse, theft, natural disaster like tornados, hurricanes, 
and the list goes on and on . . . 
and guess what? . . . pain is part of life. And, thankfully, so is JOY! What I am saying, is,  that it's our choice what we do with our pain.

I know people who have been in pain, drama, and in victim mode 4 FOREVER! And, I used to be there, too! And finally, I got sick of it. I got sick of feeling like crap, I got sick of my same old victim story, and I had to shift or die a slow spiritual death. The "shift" hit the fan, and I was presented with a choice.

StoRy (you're welcome! . . .): When I was super especially miserable at one point in my life, I began to run--a lot. And I ran, . . . and ran, . . . and ran, . . . and ran (maybe a bit too much, actually, I have that tendency, if you haven't noticed . . .). I was so burdened, stressed out, burned out, & sad & exhausted one morning, but--I still went running before my kids got up. I turned left onto the three-mile course I did, and I saw about a 15 pound ginormous rock. 

SOmething told me to pick it up . . . and guess what? I ran the whole damn 3 miles carrying that 15 lb. rock! And when I was  done, I put down the rock, and I felt as light as air!

That's what forgiveness does.
It frees us.
It makes us lighter.
It means we quit judging others
and making them "wrong" so our egos can be "right", "superior",
(and it takes the pressure off . . .)

Anyway, just so you know, I totally get that it's easier to stay stuck in being mad, right, offended, or disgusted by someone else's behavior (which conveniently takes the focus off of ourselves, get it?). BUT--it's only hurting you (& me & we!)

What teeny tiny thing can you 4-give today!?
Let us know in the comments!



p.s here's what Deepak (I'm on a first name basis with him . . . not!) says about forgiveness . . . take a bite!

p.p.s. note the BliNgEd out gLaSSes! diamonds, no?

Sunday, July 29, 2012

mY fRiEnD, mY mIrrOr . . . thAnKs, fRIeNd : dNeIRf !#%@!

liFe is well, G0(o)D!
Actually, it's AMAZING!

dEaR funfreePPS!

Cray-cray world! I called one of my dear friends yesterday . . .   to catch up and maybe get our kids together, and just a few minutes into the conversation I could tell she was not in a good place. She was raising her voice, complaining about her life, and talking so fast I could hardly understand what she said. After about 45 minutes of her totally blasting me with her crazy life stories and her drama (btw--I'm absolutely not saying her situation is not real for her. . . ), I finally had to tell her to "STOP! I can't listen to this anymore. You have been yelling at me for almost 45 minutes!" (I did get in a few words along the way . . . but jeeshh!). She asked me noThinG about mE, and I was literally feeling sick & nauseous near the end of the call. 

She finally stopped and said, "I know! I'm a train wreck! I'm eating like crap, I'm not exercising, I'm not going to yoga or writing in my journal, I need a haircut, and I haven't been to my counselor for over 2 years! What should I do?"

"Breathe," I told her. [Don't tell anyone, but I was secretly reminding myself of all the things I was about to tell her, 'cuz  how many times have I talked to a friend and emotionally barfed my drama and pain onto them (. . . oh, and my mom, too. Sorry, Mom! Thanks for being there. I'm glad I chose you to be my mom!)]. It's kind of like being a 2-year old wearing a big fat diaper sitting in the corner & throwing a tantrum!!!!!

(I guess we all need to do it, once-in-a-while . . . 
but then, guess what? 
We need to get over our bad small selves and figure it out--and move back into the powerful creations that we are)

Then she asked me, "What are the top 10 things you did to get to where you are?" which made me chuckle a bit, 'cuz she obviously doesn't live in MY head! I haven't arrived anywhere, and I'm definitely a work in progress! I'm human just like she is, and I do the same CRAPPY-CRAP sometimes . . . but I try to catch myself ASAP and knock it off sooner than later!
"Well," I began, "first, you need to take care of yourself."

Silence. "Oh my God, Dana. Thank you."

"And, B--, the more you tell this crazy pissed off story, the more life you give it. Stop telling it--you're making it true by giving it energy 'cuz your words are energy."

"Thank you."

(AND--I am reminding myself as I am talking to my friend--
I have the same behavior! OMG!)

"And, hon, you are not a victim. You are a powerfully amazing & creative woman who is choosing to see these events through the lens of a victim! And, my beautiful friend--(I can't believe I said this to her 'cuz she has been through a lot of really gross Sh!zzlE!)--eventually, you are going to have to find the grace to forgive the people and situations that torment you and feed you pain."

I also told her to read my blog, 'cuz it really tells the story of my journey--how I have healed and grown from some of my past and how I try to live a better, more peaceful & powerful existence.

And, I am going to tell her next I talk with er that the most healing practices she can commit to are:
1. forgiveness
2. gratitude

I hung up the phone being so grateful for my friend, our conversation, and our ability to be open and honest with each other. I actually did go and meditate...which calmed my heart and spirit, at least. All that gross NRG infected me for a while . . . but I have awesome tools for it now!

And, I know if I ever am in a crappy place, I can call and barf on her!--'cuz I know that's what my friends do--accept me for the good, the bad, & the ugly.

I am (we R) so so so lUckY and bLessEd!
How R U bLessed? Let us know in the comments!

a top secret admirer and grateful grrrrrl!

p.s. I could have been so, like, OMG, shut up! Why is it all about you! Why are you in such a gross place! You make me feel sick! but . . . I chose to be quietly present with my friend and listen with my heart . . . 'cuz her pain is my pain . . . is our pain.

Friday, July 27, 2012

gOt cOuRaGe? B FeAr-LesS!

"hOt Dogs!"
random picture
nothing do with my blog, 
but super cute, anyway

Hey All fUn&fRee feArLESS pEEplE:

I think I shared with you in last week or two that this summer is our "SUMMER OF RISKS" for my family. Which, really means, that we are trying to tune into what we are scared of--AND INTENTIONALLY DO THOSE THINGS THAT scArE us The MoStEsT! 

. . . seems kind of wierd, 'cuz I've lived mostly escaping or running away from my fears. My mentor, Mastin, has taught me that my fear has to tell me what I need to do next--like a signpost or a roadmap. For example, if I'm scared of telling my friend how I feel, that means it's EXACTLY what I need to DO! 

OMG! It's like, the total freakin' OPPOSITE of how I've lived my life. Jeesh!

. . . good thing I get it now. . . I'm lucky!
"Go to your fears, sit with them, stare at them. Your fears are your friend, their only job is to show you undeveloped parts of yourself that you need to cultivate to live a happy life. The more you do the things you're most afraid of doing the more life opens up. Embrace your fears and your fears will embrace you."
- Jackson Kiddard
So, according to this amazing quote, we are suposed to be friends with stuff that scares the CrAp out of us--and, (what the heck?)--our fears are friends--they show us what we NEED TO DO--WHAT WE MUST DO-- TO GROW.

Story opportunity: My daughter, Chloe, told me she saw a book at the bookstore called Courage (Waber) that she wanted to get--so, because I knew it was the summer of risks (and Courage goes with it) we went down to our awesome neighborhood bookstore called the Wild Rumpus and bought the book!
So weird! When I got home from buying this book, I got a package from UPS delivering a book that I forgot I ordered a few months back. Guess what it was called? Courage (Ford)
We had both wanted the same book? AND they arrived on the same day! 
Coincidence? NO WAY! 
Synchronicity? YES WAY!
SO what exactly is synchronicity?

English teacher moment:
syn = same
chron = time
icity = the quality of

So, it basically means the quality of occurring at the same time. I also call these magical moments, awakening calls, fairy whispers, Universe knocks, GodWinks, and signs.

These moments happen to me almost every day now, because I have learned to pay attention and listen. It could be a strangers conversation, a piece of paper I find, a bug or an animal, or a hug from my children. Here's what Deepak Chopra has to say about synchronicity: (Mr. Blingly glasses!!!!--go Deepak! It's uR birThdAY!)
Have you ever experienced a synchronicity that u were aware of? Let me know in the comments!

No coincidences, yo!
So much love!
;0) dana

 p.s. I'm doing the Chopra 21-day meditation challenge! It's free and amazingly transfomative! If you're interested, click here! Chopra 21-day Meditation Challenge. Remember, you don't have to be perfect about it--even meditating once has amazing and lasting benefits!

Wednesday, July 25, 2012

be(LoVe)d II !

be(LoVe)d !

"The moment you have in your heart
this extraordinary thing called love
and feel the depth,
the delight, the ecstasy of it,
you will discover that for you the world is transformed." 

—Jiddu Krishnamurti

HeY aLL!

I know I have been blogging about the meditations I have been doing lately, but I don't think I told you that the theme of 21-day series is "Free to Love."
I don't know about you, but I used to think that when people did something I thought was wrong, mean, unloving, or downright hateful--to me, others, the planet, and that includes animals--I didn't really consider my reaction to be a choice. 
I just got mad . . .
In other words, they just flat out pissed me right off!
So . . . really (you're not gonna like this, maybe . . .) I allowed someone else besides me to be in charge of my response and how I allowed myself to feel.

(not very powerful . . . )
I am such a victim of well, LiFe! boo-hoo!

Now, don't get me wrong . . . we all have emotions about outside events and definitely are allowed to have feelings about the stuff that happens to us!
it's our job to identify how we feel, set boundaries with people who have behaviors we don't like & share our feelings with people--like BFFs who feel safe--with the Universe or God, or with (in my case!) my super BFF:
my JoUrNAL
(get it? it's like a place where you write about your
When all is said and done, we are the only ones who can forgive others and let go of being mad, resentful, right, or sad. Forgiveness really doesn't have to do with anyone else.
Know why?
'Cuz resentment only hurts the person who carries it. If you hold your breath, does it effect anyone else? If you hold onto a hot coal, does anyone else get burned?

Holding onto resentment is like 
holding your breath 
-- only you suffocate. 
Deepak Chopra

Hear ME!--This absolutely does not mean that the actions, behaviors, thoughts, words, and deeds of others are okay--that's not the point. The point is, that generally, people act out of meeting their own unmet needs--and how they behave really has nothing to do with you. As Chopra also said, "People act out of their own level of consciousness." In other words, as I wrote a couple of days ago:
and sometimes their best is pretty lame . . .
(believe me, I get it . . . been there, done that!)
But sometimes, my best is even more lame . . .
so I need to SHUT THE FRONT DOOR and work on me,
rather than find fault with everyone else.
So the gift of forgiveness
is a gift we give to ourselves,
and then,
we can look backward and forward
(get it? you gain something?!)
in LoVe, be(LoVe)d!
So my question is this: What can you forgive, so you can be more comfortable and at ease?
And I want to tell you some of my TrUth: forgiving myself for the crap I've done--and I was truly doing my best at my place of (un)consciousness--has been the most difficult thing I've ever done in my JOURNey--not forgiving others, 'cuz that feels easier.
Here's a beautiful piece of meditation about for-giveness; it's 4-you!

Meditation: Forgiveness

What do you have to forgive in you and in others? Let me know in the comments!
I heart U!
;) dana

 p.s. The Chopra 21-day meditation challenge is free and amazingly transformative! If you're interested, click on Chopra 21-day Meditation Challenge. Remember, you don't have to be perfect about it--even meditating once has amazing and lasting benefits!

Saturday, July 21, 2012

L0vE OthErs!

hey funfreefolk!

So, i was going to write a top ten list of FUN today (with my daughter...), but something else grabbed my attention tonight.
You know what is super FUN to me? Doing random nice things for people when they don't expect it . . . (and not taking credit for it, either!...) like, as in, doing it anonymously?!
Have you ever been the receiver of a R.A.K. (random act of kindness)? It's kind of weird, cuz' we're not used to people doing nice stuff without asking for credit or for anything in return. BUT, i think it's human nature to be super kind and loving to others . . .
Here's a cool video about a random act of kindness
FREE HUGS! What could be better?#@#$

It's beautiful to be kind;
 it fills up your hEaRt SpaCe and puts out super amazing pOsItIvE eNeRgY!
ffPS: I dare you to do a random act of kindness! 
Leave me a comment and let me know about your 
ranDom and luSciOus aCt of KinDnesS and how it goes...

Love X 3,

Friday, July 20, 2012

Love You!

Hey All--
I was thinking about how often we settle for crumbs in our friendships when we all deserve the most delicious cakeSometimes, we keep friends around, even when we are uncomfortable for whatever reason--we give too much, we are constantly criticized or told what to do, or we just can't be ourselves.

Sometimes, we hang on just because we are afraid of being alone.
Someone is better than no one, right? No Way!  Yikes!  RED FLAG!!!!!!

If we are mean to ourselves, and pay close attention to and listen to our inner mean girl, why shouldn't others be mean to us, as well? We draw into our lives people who reflect or mirror how we treat ourselves. 
Why don't we have the courage to let go of those friendships? 
When I was in middle school, I used to wonder why other girls were so mean to me; I believed the rotten stuff they said about me, and I never stuck up for myself or argued with them. This kept happening over and over again. Hmmmmnnnnnn...that's interesting...
Have you ever noticed that the SAME characters keep showing up in your life (with different faces, of course) and doing the yucky crap u don't appreciate over & over until you learn the lesson you are supposed to learn ?!!!!? Funny how that works! 

We teach people how to treat us.
It doesn't matter whether the friends are girls or boys--people treat us the way we allow ourselves to be treated (BTW--it's the same when you are grown up!...)

You know, we actually train (yep, as in dogs! ) the people in our lives how to treat us by what we are willing to put up with, and I believe this is soOoOoo true!

What is the first word we teach a dog?
First, we teach a dog what we are NOT willing to put up with; then, we reward the dog when it behaves in a way that is acceptable to us. Hmmnn... lessons from dogs!

Would you keep a dog in your house who constantly barked at you and bit at your fingers or clamped onto the bottom of your pant legs? Or crapped on the floor? Absolutely not!!!! (and if you did, who would be the problem? you? or the dog?...just sayin'...) 

So, if you are noticing that you surround yourself with people who aren't very nice to you, ask yourself "Why?"  They are a reflection of how you feel about you! Otherwise, you would not put up with them...you would walk away! 
Which reminds me of an amazing poem by Portia Nelson:

Autobiography in Five Short Chapters

Chapter 1
I walk down the street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I fall in.
I am lost ... I am helpless.
It isn't my fault.
It takes forever to find a way out.

Chapter 2
I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I pretend I don't see it.
I fall in again.
I can't believe I am in the same place.
But it isn't my fault.
It still takes a long time to get out.

Chapter 3
I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I see it is there.
I still fall in ... it's a habit.
My eyes are open.
I know where I am.
It is my fault.
I get out immediately.

Chapter 4
I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I walk around it.

Chapter 5
I walk down another street.

~ Portia Nelson ~ 

Walking down another street can be a really hard, brave thing to do, and sometimes we don't have choices about the people who surround us--like on teams, at work, or in school, or in our families. When that happens, we can just look to others with love and detachment, and be on our way . . . on our own path

Much love!


Wednesday, July 18, 2012

aRRiVaL of gRaSShOpper! yAy!

LoVe is HeRe. . . 
and HeRe, and hErE, and everywHERE!

Dear Funfree Leapers & Hoppers!

Have you ever had an animal friend keep showing up for you over and over until it gets your attention!? Remember last month when I kept seeing buTTerfLies (a sign of transformation) absolutely everywhere--they even kept landing on me!
Sometimes animals serve as totems--- Webster's defines a totem as: "A natural object, usually an animal that serves as a distinctive, often venerated  [respected]  emblem or symbol, usually a means of personal or spiritual identity." So, when a special animal keeps reappearing to me, I usually pay attention and figure out the animal's message for me.
SO, the picture above--a grasshopper, of all things!-- is another animal that landed in my life last week . . . and guess what? It showed up in my house upside down on the ceiling! It kept leaping around my kitchen. Now, I know I'm not like most people (in a strangely unique way!), but I actually greeted the grasshopper and welcomed it into my home--seriously . . . ask my friend who was over! 
Now, please understand that I grew up with a dad who caught spiders and put them outside rather than killed them, and I actually do the same! I even open the door for flies so they can quit slamming themselves against the window of my back sliding door trying to escape back outside into nature! 
I do, however, admit that I slap mosquitos--'cuz they are just plain evil ;0) . . .
Anyway, when I loked up the grasshopper totem, this is one explanation I found:

"Uncanny Leaps Forward"

The  Chinese symbol of good luck and abundance,
Grasshopper gives its totem people the ability to take chances.
To move on hunches and take the leap forward.
Things might not move for them as they do for other people;
progress is not step-by-step, but rather extremely fast.
Trust your own instincts on when to make the leaps. 
Trust your inner voice.
It will lead you to great successes.
Don’t be afraid to leap –
and remember that Grasshopper only leaps forward –

never backward.*

Wow! How cool is that!? 
Thanks, nature and Universe for the 
awesome sign! 
That pretty much describes my life in a nutshell so 
far this summer--things are changing superfast
(like JimmyJohns . . .), 
and the arrival of the grasshopper reminds me that I can trust the 
timing of the changes.
AND . . . 
because things feel really speedy right now,
I'm glad I am doing my meditation each day 'cuz

S     L     O     W



B         R         E          A         T         H        E

So, here's another meditation from Chopra Center to try if you like--
it's super short--@ 4 minutes or so. 
Worth every minute for your peace/piece of mind!
GrOwNuP cOMmAnd:
get off of FACEBOOK, TV, YouTube, MineCraft, eMail, texting,
your iPod, your iPad, your iPhone etc. 
(insert name of your fav technology)! . . . for only 4 minutes, yo--
OR ELSE, well, I'll just have to . . . uh, . . .
(insert your worst fear here!)! 
So tHeRe! JuSt KiDdiNg, ya!

The Meditator: Episode 2
The Chopra Well

Just so you know--meditation changed my life and helped gave me 
the amazing gift of peace. 
I didn't really know I had peace within me the whole time, . . .
but I'll tell you THAT story later this week. 
It's a good one! Lots of love and peace!
;) dana

 p.s. I'm doing the Chopra 21-day meditation challenge! It's free and amazingly transfomative! If you're interested, click here! Chopra 21-day Meditation Challenge. Remember, you don't have to be perfect about it--even meditating once has amazing and lasting benefits!

*from linsdomain.com.
Some of the information on this webpage was derived from the following sources:
Sans, Jamie & Carson, David.  Medicine Cards: the Discovery of Power Through the Way of Animals.  Santa Fe, NM. 1988.  Print.
Andrews, Ted. Animal-speak: the Spiritual & Magical Powers of Creatures Great & Small. Woodbury, MN: Llewellyn Publications, 1993. Print.
Andrews, Ted.  Animal-Wise: the Spirit Language and Signs of Nature.  Woodbury, MN: Llewellyn Publications, 1999. Print.
D. J. Conway.  Animal Magick: the Art of Recognizing & Working with Familiars. Woodbury, MN: Llewellyn Publications, 2003. Print.
Farmer, Steven D.  Animal Spirit Guides.  Hayhouse Inc., 2006.  Print.