Sunday, July 29, 2012

mY fRiEnD, mY mIrrOr . . . thAnKs, fRIeNd : dNeIRf !#%@!

liFe is well, G0(o)D!
Actually, it's AMAZING!

dEaR funfreePPS!

Cray-cray world! I called one of my dear friends yesterday . . .   to catch up and maybe get our kids together, and just a few minutes into the conversation I could tell she was not in a good place. She was raising her voice, complaining about her life, and talking so fast I could hardly understand what she said. After about 45 minutes of her totally blasting me with her crazy life stories and her drama (btw--I'm absolutely not saying her situation is not real for her. . . ), I finally had to tell her to "STOP! I can't listen to this anymore. You have been yelling at me for almost 45 minutes!" (I did get in a few words along the way . . . but jeeshh!). She asked me noThinG about mE, and I was literally feeling sick & nauseous near the end of the call. 

She finally stopped and said, "I know! I'm a train wreck! I'm eating like crap, I'm not exercising, I'm not going to yoga or writing in my journal, I need a haircut, and I haven't been to my counselor for over 2 years! What should I do?"

"Breathe," I told her. [Don't tell anyone, but I was secretly reminding myself of all the things I was about to tell her, 'cuz  how many times have I talked to a friend and emotionally barfed my drama and pain onto them (. . . oh, and my mom, too. Sorry, Mom! Thanks for being there. I'm glad I chose you to be my mom!)]. It's kind of like being a 2-year old wearing a big fat diaper sitting in the corner & throwing a tantrum!!!!!

(I guess we all need to do it, once-in-a-while . . . 
but then, guess what? 
We need to get over our bad small selves and figure it out--and move back into the powerful creations that we are)

Then she asked me, "What are the top 10 things you did to get to where you are?" which made me chuckle a bit, 'cuz she obviously doesn't live in MY head! I haven't arrived anywhere, and I'm definitely a work in progress! I'm human just like she is, and I do the same CRAPPY-CRAP sometimes . . . but I try to catch myself ASAP and knock it off sooner than later!
"Well," I began, "first, you need to take care of yourself."

Silence. "Oh my God, Dana. Thank you."

"And, B--, the more you tell this crazy pissed off story, the more life you give it. Stop telling it--you're making it true by giving it energy 'cuz your words are energy."

"Thank you."

(AND--I am reminding myself as I am talking to my friend--
I have the same behavior! OMG!)

"And, hon, you are not a victim. You are a powerfully amazing & creative woman who is choosing to see these events through the lens of a victim! And, my beautiful friend--(I can't believe I said this to her 'cuz she has been through a lot of really gross Sh!zzlE!)--eventually, you are going to have to find the grace to forgive the people and situations that torment you and feed you pain."

I also told her to read my blog, 'cuz it really tells the story of my journey--how I have healed and grown from some of my past and how I try to live a better, more peaceful & powerful existence.

And, I am going to tell her next I talk with er that the most healing practices she can commit to are:
1. forgiveness
2. gratitude

I hung up the phone being so grateful for my friend, our conversation, and our ability to be open and honest with each other. I actually did go and meditate...which calmed my heart and spirit, at least. All that gross NRG infected me for a while . . . but I have awesome tools for it now!

And, I know if I ever am in a crappy place, I can call and barf on her!--'cuz I know that's what my friends do--accept me for the good, the bad, & the ugly.

I am (we R) so so so lUckY and bLessEd!
How R U bLessed? Let us know in the comments!

a top secret admirer and grateful grrrrrl!

p.s. I could have been so, like, OMG, shut up! Why is it all about you! Why are you in such a gross place! You make me feel sick! but . . . I chose to be quietly present with my friend and listen with my heart . . . 'cuz her pain is my pain . . . is our pain.

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