Friday, August 31, 2012

bE UrSELF! CeLeBraTe amaZING yOu!

dEar aMazing & gOOd lOOkinG 
             and sUpeR sPaRkLy fuN & frEE pEEps! 

I have a really weird and amazing idea for all of you today. I dare you to be your authentic self . . . for 1 hour. Sounds easy, right?

Hmmnnn . . . let's unpack it a bit.

That means,

  • checking in with yourself every moment, or at least every time you make a decision, to ensure that you, beautiful and amazing you, are in your own unique integrity in this world
  • making decisions based on you . . . rather than 
    • what other people will approve of
    • what other people will think is the "right" choice
    • what will make others like you
    • what feels the easiest (unless you need it to be easy)
    • what is automatically ANTI (for those of us who don't like to be told what to do so we choose the radical or OTHER position)
    • what your parents would have wanted you to do
    • putting the needs of others before your own
  • being free to express yourself, for example . . 
    • I was shopping with some friends today and one friend said something sosososo ridiculous that I burst out laughing! 
    • Looking around at people staring at me, I apologized  . . .  and then kept on laughing my a@# off . . . even the fancy botoxed (NO JUDGEMENT...I love Botox!) high-heeled designer shopper eventually began to chuckle with me!
    • being sad & sappy if I need to
  • asking for help when I need it
  • saying sorry and knowing I'm wrong
  • taking care of me FIRST, SO I have stuff to GIVE (the opposite of what I learned growing up!)
WE R ALL AMAZING! How do we forget that? It's crazy!
 Can  You let go of the story of your own un-amazingness?
Let me know in the comments!

HeArts & fArTs!

Thursday, August 30, 2012

gOt pEaCe!?

“If you let go a little you will have a little peace; 
if you let go a lot you will have a lot of peace; 
if you let go completely you will have 
complete peace.” 

Ajahn Chah

Isn't it so weird to think that forgiveness is not about the other person? but rather, about you letting go of the gross, crappy feelings that constantly bug you and inhabit your mind and heart?

I used to think that if I forgave someone, it meant that what they did was okay--but that's NOT TRUE

I also thought that if I forgave someone, the thing that made me sad or mad or hurt was somehow supposed to be erased from history (you know, the whole forgive and forget thing?...that did NOT  ever work for me, BTW)...

Maybe, we are supposed to forgive, and then NOT forget the lesson we learned from our experience of feeling sad or mad or hurt by someone else. Maybe, the person was actually sent to us, to teach us a lesson about ourselves (I know this is weirder and weirder territory!...stay with me !)

Just maybe .  .  .  we are supposed to forgive, and then remember--not because we can keep punishing the other person for hurting us--but so we can NEVER PUT OURSELVES in the position where the same thing can happen to us again...

Have you ever noticed that the same lessons keep showing up in your life and you are like, "What the heck? Why does this keep happening to me?"

Well, guess what? The Universe is trying to get your attention... cuz it's YOU who needs to do something different.

And that's Go(o)d news, cuz you are in control of you!

Hmmmnnnn.....feels kind of SCARY powerful, doesn't it... in a good way?

Think about it, yo'---

Love you!


Thursday, August 23, 2012

funfreeMe! inStaLLatIon I

funfreeMe (dana)
yEaH! I aM tHrEe!

Good Day All!
Here is a picture of me when I was 3 (my magic number)! I'm SOSOSOSOS happy to be alive & wearing my super favorite teal polka-dotted dress with matching pantalones! Can you imagine my horror when I went to play at my neighbor's house and I saw HER wearing my favorite outfit? MY MOM HAD GIVEN IT AWAY WITHOUT MY KNOWING IT! . . . those darn moms. . . 
I was reminded a couple of days ago during a certain unmentioned situation that there's a certain part of me that wants someone to miraculously swoop in (enter DRAMA) and take care of me--probably not a good idea, since I'm,  . . . well, let's just say I'm a grown woman, y'all.
So the picture above reminds me that the Dana who wants to be rescued or taken care of is a little girl part of me--you know, little d-dana--probably the part of me that maybe didn't learn how to to take care of myself so greatly (made up word!). So, the little d-dana thinks that she (I) needs to be rescued by someone else 'cuz she (I) doesn't believe she (I) can do stuff her(my)self.
Describing this to one of my besties, what I realize now is how important it is that I save myself and learn how to take amazing care of me! In other words, capital D-Dana needs to scoop up little d-dana, give her a big hug & a smoocher, and let her know that she's okay. All is well.
The little girl part of me that gets frightened needs to know that capital D-Dana is now in charge, and I can take care of both of us. Wow. Pretty intense, huh?
This quote really says it all:

Although all men share a common destiny,
each individual also has to work out
his personal salvation for himself.
We can help each other find the meaning of life,
but in the last analysis,
each is responsible for finding himself.
--Thomas Merton

So, rather than rescuing or taking care of everybody else, my journey has been leading me back to mySelf. After all, when I was three everything was amazing, and sometimes sad, and sometimes scary--but always okay. . . and no unnecessary made-up DrAmA. . . maybe the process of growing up means going back to living life through the eyes of a child, when everything is fresh, alive, and where we are intensely present to whatever life reveals to us. In other words,

All is well . . . really!
Lots of Love,
Dana & dana

Monday, August 20, 2012

LeSSonS FrOm the yOunG GrOwnUps!

LeT's pLay! . . . 4-eVeR!

dEar aLL of yOU(s)!

As you know, I had an awesome long weekend at the cabin with my family! Add you know one thing I was watching? Seven kids all playing together! Amazing! It reminded me a bit of those gRownUps . . . 'cuz we bIg kIdS have a lot to learn from the little ones . . . or, I should say, we have a LoT to LeaRn about ReMeMBerINg to be KiDs!

This might be weird, but one thing I was noticing is that kids have to continue working things out if they want to keep playing together. Like, for example, there is a flow of communication--both verbal and nonverbal--that naturally happens as a result of the kids wanting to CONTINUE to PLAY! 

So, there's this amazing cycle in no particular order of:

  • SHARING: "Here's a watermelon Jolly Rancher for you..." or, "Do you want to share my blankie?"
  • TAKING EACH OTHER'S STUFF ("That's my shovel," "Hey! I wanted the last pigggy in a blanket!")
  • TESTING LIMITS & BOUNDARIES (aka...what can I get away with!)
  • SETTING BOUNDARIES (e.g. "I don't like that!" or "You can't say shut up to me!"
  • MESSING UP: "Oops. Mom, I spilled the nail polish on the table..."
  • feeling whatever the he(ll)ck they feel LIKE--BEING MAD (like, throwing a tantrum with no apologies)...SAD ...and SUPER DUPER HAPPY & ECSTATIC (but mostly the good stuff)
  • SAYING "I'M SORRY"... and actually meaning it...
  • FORGIVING: "That's okay. I know you didn't mean it..."
and again...
and again
  • and, 'cuz playing is way more fun than fighting, there is a natural move toward communication and collaboration with the kiddos
  • and, when things get too tough, kids take a break, ask for help from a grown up or another kid, simply find another more suitable kid to play with . . . or, move entirely to another playground!
(do you know where I'm going with this yet?)


What if grown ups took lessons from kids about how to keep playing together? You know, no drama, say what ya gotta say, renegotiate, and MOVE ON?
That's what I want to do with my friends & loved ones . . . KEEP PLAYING!

LiFe is gO(o)D! Just sayin'
Dana, the great
(tiara, please . . . )

Sunday, August 19, 2012

lOvE it aLL! . . . and LeT gO(d)!

"There is a divine plan working for us—all the time. 
The cosmic computer of the universe has created us to be,
do and have everything we want, need and desire." 
David Simon said, "Your attachment to people, things,
and beliefs makes you feel vulnerable when they
fail to meet your expectations.
Learn to love what is, let go,
and surrender to the mind of the universe."
~Chopra Center
goOd mOrNinG (& afternOOn) eVerYbOdy!

Once again, I have been reminded that I am not in charge of anything! I went to a friend's cabin with my two kids and my amazing MoM this past weekend, and I was surrounded by seven kids and seven (eEeW! gRownUps!). It was amazingly chaotic, fun, and crazy! 
Top secret: grownups can be sosososo bossy and loud! I want them to BE QUIET!


I really had to let go and GO WITH THE FLOW! We boated, swam, played cards & watched movies, went to the candy store, watched the sunset, and I even went out on a surfboard...which I was really scared about! . . . but I didn't fall off!

Anyway, one of the kids got LiCe and we all freaked out for a whole morning (we were actually going to leave . . . but then we didn't...) . . . but then, it was all okay . . . it always is, isn't it, anyway?

So, as usual, things were not exactly the perfect way I had imagined . . . but it's okay. . . it's not about me and what I think about how things should go . . . as a matter of fact, it's exhausting trying to maneuver everything and control everyone---'cuz it's all out of my control  . . .


What are you Not in COntrol of (but you'd really like to be?)
Leave me a comment below and let me know!

Lotsa Love!
;) d-dog 

Saturday, August 4, 2012

mOVinG frOm my hEaD 2 mY heART! . . .

LoVe To aLL!
HeY tHerE!

Of course my daughter found this heart this morning when she was getting her materials together to make a rOcKeT sHiP! Just what I needed, of course!

I guess hearts have been showing up a lot for me lately--in nAtUrE, and, well, everywhere! I guess there's enough love to go around!

Since I've lived up in my head for so long, it's not so easy to get used to listening to my heart (even though I am a heart person . . . ). It's like I've shut off a part of myself for so long, and when I am feeling something it's like I'm meeting someone who is vaguely familiar!

My first instinct when I have a feeling, is to think about it and understand it, and then

tALk mYsElF oUt oF iT!

(like feelings can be reasoned with . . . duh), instead of just allowing my self to feel whatever's in my heart. A good friend of mine always tells me when I have a feeling or hunch about something:

"DoN'T oVeRtHinK iT . . ."
(which is a good reminder; thanks, friend!)

Here's another thing I've noticed . . . (super secret . . .). Sometimes, when I have super yummy amazing and awesome feelings like LoVE, happiNess, or excitement . . . I also go up into my head and sometimes do the same . . .

tALk mYsElF oUt oF iT!

or question it 'cuz I'm afraid of 
trusting the feeling . . .

Guess I'm practicing at feeling it all, huh? and just letting it be . . . whatever it is . . . I'm glad I let myself feel sad for the past couple of days, and I'm glad I let the tears come . . . Remember that my daughter called this The Summer of Risks? I suppose I'm still facing my fears . . . and I know that next time I feel sad, it won't be so scary. 

Thanks, You-niverse! I'm so glad I can trust the lessons You are preparing especially FOR me! What are you learning? Let me know in the comments!

Lots of LovE!
;0) dana