feeLs niCe 2 B, weLL, nICe!

This past 5 years has definitely been a time of facing my fears and choosing love over fear! Like, as in doing what's right for me (despite what other people say about it, how they judge me, and the stories they make up about mY TrUtH!)--even thought these are really stories I make up about what stories they are making up--know what I mean? (METASTORIES--you know: stories about stories!) Ha! I am not really sure why I keep worrying about others, but it keeps happening, so I must still need to work on that lesson. Thanks, You-niverse! (not ... jk . . . but I'm a bit sick and tired of it . . .).

Here's how fear has operated for me:

• I used to try to be perfecKt so nobody would find fault with me
• And, when people did find fault or criticize me, just deny it, or make an excuse for it, or kiss their butt enough to change their mind about how bad or wrong or stUpiD I was . . . (super InAuTheNtiC of me) . . . but it was how I survived . . . ;( BTW: I wonder why I allowed these people to hang around me in the first place when it felt like such crap). Can you relate? 
• NOTE TO SELF: get these iCky tOXic people oUT! Send them off with loVE and comPAssIOn, but SHOW THEM THE freakin' DOOR!
• DOUBLE NOTE TO SELF: get these iCky tOXic InnEr MEan self oUT! Send her off with loVE and comPAssIOn, but SHOW HER THE freakin' DOOR! 

Oh--wait--since this is all in my mind. . . maybe this is really about me? Hmnnn. . . .

What I'm learning, is that just 'cuz someone thinks or says something about me (even if it's ME, in my mind), doesn't mean it's automatically true! That includes the mean crappy crap I tell mEself! 

Also, I am learning to not even waste my EnergY defending mE(self) to these people (or ME) 'cuz it is draining, not true, and the stuff people (and I) say and do to me isn't really about me, anyway.

Do you know that the way people treat and what they say @ you isn't ever really about you? It's about tHeM and who tHeY are and what stories they make up about You! Isn't that weird? 

Which means by default (scary thing to tell you, here, but I'm just being real . . .) the way yOu treat others (including yourself) is neVer about ThEm and wHo you are and WhAt storiEs you make up about them! It's all projection.

CraP on a sTicK!

My daughter was noodling (thinking) out loud in the car yesterday and she was telling me about some kids who talk "stuff" about her at camp--and she felt kinda bad. And I asked her if the stuff was true.

She said, "Nope." 

Then, I asked her this: "If someone told you your skin is purple, would you believe it?" 

She laughed and  said, "Of course not, 'cuz it's not true." 

And I said, "Same thing. If you know it's not true, then it's not!" 

Then, she told me that some of the spiritual stuff I talk about is confusing for her--and, of course, I told her it's confusing to me, too! HAHAHAHAHAHA!

To be clear: setting boundaries around how others treat you is totally healthy (see above about showing them the door . . .). AS my biG bRo told me one morning (we both had recently "broken up" with some ickies in our lives and we were sharing our war stories . . . 'sup Christopher? I KNEW you'd be pleased!):

You get to be youR LOveLy seLf, BUT YOU ARE NOT A DOORMAT FOR PEOPLE TO WALK ALL OVER!

So, MEet you fears and follow your dreams, FFPps--one teeny tiny baby step at a time, and find pEaCE in what's right for you!

LoVe U to the mOOn and bacK!

;) dana