You have three choices:
keep on fighting,
ignore each other,
or make up and be friends.
Once there were four sixth-graders - two boys and two girls - who started to fight even though they'd been friends for years. One morning at the bus stop, the boys started playing keep-away with the girls' shoes and wouldn't give them back. One of the mothers called the school.
Later that day, the counselor called them in and asked them what the fight was all about. They said they didn't really know.
"Well," said the counselor, "it doesn't really matter why you started fighting. Right now, you've got three choices: keep on fighting, ignore each other, or make up."
The group chose to ignore each other after discussing it among themselves. They were happy to be able to stop fighting. About the time of winter vacation, they decided to be friends again.
What conflicts can I resolve by letting them be?
I stumbled upon this story a few weeks back, and it really caught my attention for a couple of reasons. Since I'm a teacher, one of the things it reminded me of is how so many kids actually love drama! I mean, they pick fights and bug each other to keep the drama going, even when they really don't know what they're fighting about anymore.
Which reminds me, of, well . . . me (of course). I've done the same thing. I keep allowing others to bug me (in the past or the present), even when they're not really doing anything to bug me anymore. Or, I interpret their actions based on their past actions, and assume they're trying to bug me just because they have irritated me in the past.
How often do you keep fighting, even though there isn't anything to fight about anymore? What "fight" no longer serves you? What "fight" can you ignore, or simply let go of today?
Lots of love!