Brothers and Sisters . . . Oh, My!

       

Brother and Sister

06.24.17.

Lulu has arrived--and she has been here for just one week. Teddy kind of likes her, but is a bit annoyed, in general . . . and I don't blame him.

He's been TOP DOG for over 2 years! Daddy's best (beast) friend, a super-great armpit sleeper! And a ball boy extraordinaire.

I think he's secretly happy she's here, even though she's a bit of a pain.

I wonder if that's how my brother felt about me.

I didn't really get my brother or connect with him until we were in college. We went to the same university--the U of MN--and he was a Lodger and I was a DG. We started school the same time even though he was a year older, because he went to Amsterdam for "grade 13" after he was heartbroken because he couldn't go to Carleton College. My parents couldn't afford it, and they made too much money for him to get scholarship money. But that's another story.

My point is, we don't really appreciate what is right in front of us, because we aren't present. We are planning the future, regretting the past, or hating on all the $#!t that we don't appreciate about life in general. We are generally numb, I believe, and I'm not excusing myself from it, either. 

I hope my kids, Max and Chloe, love each other as much as my brother and me did. They really don't even want to be in the same house right now, sadly.

They are really different from each other, and they don't see that as a cool thing. 

My brother and I were really different, too.

I didn't even get how much he meant to me, until my brother, Chris, died. How freakin' obvious is that? (You don't realize what you've got until it's gone . . .)

Sometimes, I feel like he dies every damn day like a throat-closing, choke, cry feeling. 

He was my best friend.

I hope Lulu and Ted are best friends. I think it's meant to be. ;)

We have a new baby girl!

Tallulah (LuLu) Rose Bradach III

06.17.17.

I remember having human babies. 

When they came home from the hospital to get accustomed to their new surroundings with all their blankies and baby gear.

And time stops.

It goes slow. And we stay up late to watch them sleep, burp, yawn, coo, poop, look around, and breast feed (don't worry, I'm not breast feeding my dog, LOL!).

Those first few weeks feel holy--like slow, time-stop motion, moment-to-moment presence.

And that's what last night felt like. 

Even though LuLu slept most of the time, our whole family--Me, Keith, my two stepdaughters Emily and Katie, and my own two kids, Max and Chloe--plus Teddy, our 2-year old Cavapoo--gathered in the living room and hung out with our new family member. 

Awe-inspiring, to say the least.

What an honor, and so exciting.

Life is so, so Go(o)d.

fInD pEaCe & lOve wItHiN uR-sELf!

LoVe & pEaCe hEaRT

"Love is the capacity to take care, to protect, to nourish.

If you are not capable of generating that kind of energy toward yourself-

if you are not capable of taking care of yourself,

of nourishing yourself,

of protecting yourself-

it is very difficult to take care of another person.

In the Buddhist teaching,

it's clear that to love oneself is the foundation of the love of other people.

Love is a practice. Love is truly a practice." 

- Thich Nhat Hanh, Buddhist monk, author, peace activist.

Dear fuN & fReE Pps!

I took a picture of this amazingly cOoL bumper sticker a while back when I was running at a friend's cabin. It has two of my favorite symbols--peace & love! You may realize by now that much of my life's journey has been searching for peace and searching for love. I feel like I've looked eVeRyWhErE - - in friendships, in love & family relationships, in food & exercise, activities & unhealthy behaviors, and also at places like church, & my place of work. 

Really, it never really occurred to me to look within mySELF for peace & love . . . until I was so exhausted from searching that I was pretty much running on empty, wholly depleted, and at the      
end

     of 

          my

               rope.

You see, I have always been the sort of person who takes care of others and manages everything around me. 

WARNING! EGO ATTACK: people depend on me and need me so I must be okay & I can pretend that everything's just perfect . . . but secretly it's pretty controlling behavior, and here's why:

• I wrongly assumed that I knew what is best for others, and I could do it better & correctly (NOT TRUE!)
• I did for others what they could have done for themselves (especially true for children, 'cuz parts of their self-esteem comes from them knowing that grownups believe in them and their own belief: "I can do it! I am capable!")
• If I did stuff for others with resentment, it sent a double message and I got to be a victim
• It was none of my concern to manage what others think or believe about me
• I was making myself sick from trying to keep everything perfect . . . PLUS
• I was not being Dana, or HUMAN, for that matter (don't people who act all perfect kind of piss you off? I must have made a lot of people pretty angry . . . and I am really sorry (had to do some major work around forgiving myself for this one and making amends to people ;)
• It also meant that I did not take very good care of myself, 'cuz I was too busy minding other people's busy-ness.

It's been tough and painful (understatement) for me to work on this issue in my life---it's so much easier to focus on others than take good care of ourselves. But the good news is--it gets easier. Now, I actually enjoy my own company (most of the time), and I am taking the spotlight off of outside people and stuff, and shining the light on some of my inside: funny thing, the peace and love have been with me all along. I've just been too busy and distracted to listen long enough to feel them.

I am so grateful to be open to life's lessons. I know that each one is being prepared especially for me and that each experience and every encounter with another person is helping move to the next right thing!

Accepting it all (even myself!),
LoVe & hUgs!
Dana the Great (sometimes . . .)

iT's beTTer to gIvE thAn reCeiVe . . . !

By: Chloe

11.28.15.

Hello You! 

A few years back my daughter wanted to post this special message for the Thanksgiving holiday season, so here goes! Here's what she had 2 say!: 

                                           

Hey tIckeTy tock cLoCks!

So, as you know, Christmas is coming up... well, you know a great thing I have learned? --a great lesson... it's better to give than receive!
Soooo don't expect someone to give you a gift, 'cause you know what? 
Even if you don't have money, who cares? 
At least you're alive, and you have Jesus and God, and family!
Oh!! And especially LUV!!!!!! 

Luv yalls, peeps!

CHLOE : )

LoVe! aNd LovE mOrE . . .

Hey fun free folks! 

Have you ever noticed that many people spend a lot of their time focusing on things they don’t like or what bothers them. Sometimes, we are that person . . . either focusing on negative stuff about ourselves (mean inner (S)ELF) or other people. If we don't catch it, this behavior can drain us of our energy FAST!!!! Today let's celebrate: 

WhAt We LoVE!

I personally like to write stuff down in a journal every day. Do you have a journal? If you want, take out a piece of paper and for each category, list three things you LoVe; otherwise, just think about the stuff on this list.

3 activities you LoVe:

3 foods you LoVe:

3 people you LoVe:

3 books you LovE:

3 songs you LoVe:

3 objects you LoVe:

3 things you LovE about your life:

3 things you LovE about yourself:

Did you know that our thoughts make a huge difference in how we feel, and if we choose amazing thoughts, it can help us feel, well . . . amazing!
 What if: Every time you felt mad, or irritated, or even sad, lonely, or tired.  .  . You looked at your list of things you LoVe and chose to focus on being psyched for all the good stuff  instead of being miserable?

What amazing shifts might occur?
Just sayin'...

Lots of LoVe!

Dana

eGo gO(aWaY)!

"Love is the capacity to take care, to protect, to nourish.

If you are not capable of generating that kind of energy toward yourself-

if you are not capable of taking care of yourself,

of nourishing yourself,

of protecting yourself-

it is very difficult to take care of another person.

In the Buddhist teaching,

it's clear that to love oneself is the foundation of the love of other people.

Love is a practice. Love is truly a practice." 

- Thich Nhat Hanh, Buddhist monk

Dear fuN & fReE Pps!

I took a picture of this amazingly cOoL bumper sticker a while back when I was running at a friend's cabin. It has two of my favorite symbols--peace & love! You may realize by now that much of my life's journey has been searching for peace and searching for love. I feel like I've looked eVeRyWhErE - - in friendships, in love & family relationships, in food & exercise, activities & unhealthy behaviors, and also at places like church, nature, & my place of work. 

Really, it never really occurred to me to look within mySELF for peace & love . . . until I was so exhausted from searching that I was pretty much running on empty, wholly depleted, and at the      

end

     of 

          my

               rope.

You see, I have always been THAT sort of person who takes care of others and tries to manage and orchestrate everything around me. 

WARNING! EGO ATTACK: Here's what I was secretly thinking: "If people depend on me and need me. then I must be okay and worthwhile and valuable & I can pretend that everything's just fine . . . even perfect . . .
What I've come to understand is that this is pretty controlling behavior, and here's why:

• I wrongly assumed that I knew what is best for others, and I could do _______ better & more correctly (NOT TRUE!)
• I did for others what they could have done for themselves, which teaches others to depend on me rather than doing for themselves (especially true for children, 'cuz parts of their self-esteem comes from them knowing that grownups believe in them and their own belief: "I can do it! I am capable!")
• If I did stuff for others with resentment (even though it was my choice), which sent a double message
• I played martyr and victim--unattractive!
• It was none of my business or concern to manage what others think or believe about me
• I was making myself sick from trying to keep everything perfect . . . PLUS
• I was not being Dana, or HUMAN, for that matter--don't people who act all perfect kind of tick you off, anyway? I must have made a lot of people pretty angry . . . and I am really sorry (had to do some major work around forgiving myself for this one and making amends to people ;)
• It also meant that I did not take very good care of myself, 'cuz I was too busy minding other people's busy-ness.

It's been tough and painful (understatement) for me to work on this issue in my life---why is it so much easier to focus on others than take good care of ourselves?  But the good news is--it gets easier. Now, I actually enjoy my own company (most of the time), and I am taking the spotlight off of outside stuff, and shining the light on some of my inside.

Funny thing, peace and love have been with me all along. I've just been too busy and distracted to listen long enough to know and feel it.

I am so grateful to be open to life's lessons. I know that each one is being prepared especially for me and that each experience and every encounter with another person is helping move to the next right thing!

Accepting it all (even myself!),

LoVe & hUgs!

Dana the Often and/or Sometimes Great

p.s. Check out this Kundalini meditation called Ego Eradicator led by the fabulous Gabrielle Bernstein

LoVe iT aLL!

OMG! I hEaRt this!

(almost typed fart! of course...)

Love, inappropriate me

heY aLL!

You know I have been doing the 21-day Chopra Center meditation--all about love and living from your heart. Well, I have to secretly tell you that I have been living in my head most of my life. And, guess what? My head lies to me daily! With . . .

• worry about the future!
• making up crap about what others are thinking!
• beating me up about my past!
• saying I'm not good enough (skinny enough, pretty enough, successful enough, cool enough, organized enough, smart enough . . .)

BLAH 

                   BLAH

                                       BLAH . . . .

which leads me to my heart (notice red color on purpose . . . )

My heart knows the truth. 

My heart forgives (others and me).

My heart is grateful.

My heart knows everything true.

My heart knows how to love everything and everyone (even if their behavior sucks . . .)!

I have been challenged lately, to "ChOOSe LoVe."

How do u choOse LoVe?
Let me know!

I cHooSe to LovE it ALL & yOU?!
Seriously!
;0) dana

Love!

wE R pHilOspPherS!

There's So mUcH LovE

everywHERE!

dEaR UniVersAL lOvE-yOuS!

I think I probably have a lot of philosopher in me, and I have to admit that the kids in my 8th grade English classes have heard my thoughts about life for years (poor dears, . . . I'll send you all Jolly Ranchers! . . . just leave your contact information in the comments below ;) . . .). Here are some of my favorite philosophies: 
You are born in this world to . . .

• enjoy yourself, love yourself, and laugh loud and hard (especially at yourself--and your dear old English teacher, Ms. Curry Bradach . . . remember the fake teeth & poo?!)
• give yourself permission to use your voice and express your feelings--both good and bad--
• be kind and generous--there is plenty of everything to go around and around and around and around
• make mistakes and learn from them, and continue to love yourself and others, despite your flaws
• live a life of gratitude--for the good stuff and the challenging stuff
• you are in charge of yourself--this includes your happiness!
• be fully and greatly themselves (and not cheap imitations of other people)
• find your passions and use your gifts to serve others

If you were in my class and you can think of any others, leave a comment below!!!! Or, if you have any personal philosophies, please share them!

mILes of hUgS and sMiLes!
;) me 

Here's a cool, short meditation from the Chopra Center. It's only 3:33 long (my magic number), so give it a try!

The Meditator: Episode 1

 p.s. I'm doing the Chopra 21-day meditation challenge! It's free and amazingly transfomative! If you're interested, click here! Chopra 21-day Meditation Challenge. Remember, you don't have to be perfect about it--even meditating once has amazing and lasting benefits!

LoVe !$%##

Hey fun free folks! 

Have you ever noticed that many people spend a lot of their time focusing on things they don’t like or what bothers them. Sometimes, we are that person . . . either focusing on negative stuff about ourselves (mean inner (S)ELF) or other people. If we don't catch it, this behavior can drain us of our energy FAST!!!! Today let's celebrate: 

WhAt We LoVE!

Here's an amazing video from 

SoulPancake

(of the OprahWinfreyNetwork)

a team of people who basically share the love,

and who 

ask life's BIG questions!

I personally like to write stuff down in a journal every day. Do you have a journal? If you want, take out a piece of paper and for each category, list three things you LoVe; otherwise, just think about the stuff on this list.

3 activities you LoVe:

3 foods you LoVe:

3 people you LoVe:

3 books you LovE:

3 songs you LoVe:

3 objects you LoVe:

3 things you LovE about your life:

3 things you LovE about yourself:

Did you know that our thoughts make a huge difference in how we feel, and if we choose amazing thoughts, it can help us feel, well . . . amazing!

What if: Every time you felt mad, or irritated, or even sad, lonely, or tired.  .  . You looked at your list of things you LoVe and chose to focus on being psyched for all the good stuff  instead of being miserable?

What amazing shifts might occur?

Just sayin'...

Lots of LoVe!

Dana

Love Wide!

Dear Peeps;

One of my most humbling callings is being a parent; we never really learn how to be parents, and the role models we have had in our own lives may or may not be the kinds of patterns we wish to follow or we are capable of emulating.

I do know this: we all do our best with the skill set we have, AND even if we are amazing parents, that doesn't mean our beloved children won't struggle. In fact, those of us who tend to helicopter a LOT or even a bit (I'm certainly guilty of this) can expect that what we are managing FOR our children may actually (and even certainly) NOT help our kids learn perseverance to meet life's challenges with determination.

Anyway, there are times when I do get feedback in sneaky ways about what my kids think of me as a parent, and here's an example: When I was going through school papers from my son, Max's, backpack, I found the following quote copied across the top of the page, followed by his written reaction:

"Love many things,

for therein lies the true strength,

and whoever loves much,

can accomplish much,

and what is done in love,

is done well.

~Vincent Van Gogh

"This quote reminds me of my mom because I love her and
she is really loving towards me and Chloe."

These words were precious to me from my teenage son. I know that I have been a lover since I was a young girl--and I've learned a lot about love in this fifth decade of my life. To name a few:

• Loving myself is paramount to loving others.
• Loving has always been in me, not "out there" to find.
• Loving does not mean creating a pattern of dependence in a relationship.
• Loving myself may mean having to say goodbye to a relationship.
• Loving does not depend on someone loving me back the same way I show love.
• Loving can be from a distance.
• Loving does not mean engulfing someone or merging.
• Loving does not mean sacrificing core parts of mySelf.
• Loving those who may appear unloveable is part of serving others.

I have a small talisman in my bathroom that is a butterfly; in the middle, it reads, 

Love Wide

and I hope I can continue to live my life in this manner. How do you love wide? Leave a comment and share your thoughts!

Much Love!

Dana

My Mother's Day Gifts!

Dear Peeps;

Thought I'd share with you what I got from my daughter Chloe for Mother's Day (see above). It's called a Wordle, and my daughter made it in the shape of a shoe (we both LOVE shoes!) with words inside that she used to describe me. I was so surprised!

Here are the words she used for ME, her super lucky Momma!--

• Mom
• fun
• helpful
• amazing
• lovable
• daring
• leader
• beautiful
• Irish
• spiritual
• pretty
• exciting
• weird
• silly
• crazy
• awesome
• caring
• special
• nice
• funny 
• brave
• loving 
• creative

I'm gonna check out this list on the days when I feel like a crappy Mom--and remind myself that my daughter thinks I'm all of these awesome things (on a good day . . . ), and that my best is pretty darn good (even on a bad day . . .). 

My son, Max, made me this card. It says:

Happy Mother's Day!

From: Max

Dear Mom,

I luv you all of the time, (except when you're being a *hoverbot.)

I heart you!                                                                                   --Max

*hoverbot is our code word for when Max feels like I am "hovering" or micromanaging him too much--like a helicopter parent! It's been a great tool for me to know when to back off a bit.
p.s. Max told me that he secretly still loves me even when I am a hoverbot.

What gifts! I'm so grateful . . . Thanks, Chloe & Max!

Love you to the moon and back . . . ;0)

Mom

aLL is LoVe . . .

***********************************************************

The evolution of all spiritual life,
Dana Lynne,

includes 3 absolutes:

1. You will love. 
2. You will be loved. 
3. The former will eventually be 

far more important to you than the latter. 

Grasshopper, 
The Universe
***********************************************************

GuEsS wHaT? The LoVe is in you! I used to think that the love I needed was going to come from someone or something outside myself (and it very often does, and that's a huge bOnUs!), but when I want to feel love, I have to remember that I have to love me first and connect in with my Source!

If something's missing in my life, it's missing 'cuz I am NOT GIVING IT TO MYSELF (. . . and, at first, that totally stinks to realize because it means that we have to STOP complaining about everybody else not giving us what we need, and figure out how to give it to ourselves . . . which is actually un-sucky, and powerful in a cool way...)

FYI: just want you to know that at first, this idea really bugged me (and pissed me off, actually), 'cuz it meant that I am in charge (and I have to stop blaming others for me!), but, at the same time, the good news is that I AM IN CHARGE . . . of ME! And, why would I want to give my sUpErPoWerS away, anyway? (so we can stay "victimized" and not take responsibility? hmmnnnn . . . sounds miserable!) 

. . . which leads me back to the fact that I am in charge of my own stories and my own 

hApPiNeSs! 

Here's a cool grownup blogger who has some ideaS:

30 tHinGs to Start dOinG fOr YoU!

Seems kind of weird that in order to receive love, we have to love, but it has to start with us loving ourselves before we can love others.

What's important is that we love ourselves, and then we love others with no expectations.

We just love because it feels good . . . and right . . . and true.

For me, I know that I am loving, and to keep myself from being loving or restrict myself from being loving feels very difficult, really tough . . . and well, NOT ME.

Love is always bestowed as a gift –

freely, willingly and without expectation.

We don’t love to be loved;

we love to love.

~Leo Buscaglia

ALL is WELL! 
ALL is LoVe . . .

;) Dana