dO nOt Re-Sist!

Star Trek: Resistance is Futile

When you become defensive, blame others, and do not accept and surrender to the moment, your life meets resistance. Any time you encounter resistance, recognize that if you force the situation, the resistance will only increase.

You don't want to stand rigid like a tall oak that cracks and collapses in the storm. Instead, you want to be flexible, like a reed that bends with the storm and survives. 

Completely desist from defending your point of view.

When you have no point to defend, you do not allow the birth of an argument.

Someone once told me, "The past is history, the future is a mystery, and this moment is a gift. That is why this moment is called 'the present'."                              

~Deepak Chopra

Dear FunFreePeeps:

Most of us have experienced another persoon persecuting us, verbally; in other words, people are talking s#!+ about us. It's interesting how we humans do that to each other. And guess what? It meets some serious needs for the person who is talking s#!+.

Let's take a closer look:

• If I talk about you, I take the spotlight off of myself and what it is about ME that I need to change, shift, or look at.
• When I focus on YOU, I ASSume I know what's in your head and what you need. SUPER-DUPER LIE! 
• If I talk about being "worried" about YOU . . . I am ASSigning meaning to your life which is frankly, . . . NONE OF MY dA(m)nG BUSY-NESS . . . 

Which brings me to the idea of BUSY-NESS.

Have you ever noticed that people who are focused on the business of others do not look at their own business, and they create more and more BUSY-NESS out of their own habit of keeping up with what's going on with everyone else? 

It's okay. Like I wrote earlier, this is a need-seeking behavior. We all have a need for significance and belonging, and sometimes we feel significant when we have "THE (made up) GOODS" on someone else, and we stir the pot to create chaos and deflect focus from ourselves and our own stuff. HOW Convenient. Thanks, Church Lady (Dana Garvey from SNL). CLICK BELOW!

For those of us who have done this (and I, for sure, am guilty . . .) I invite you to kindly and firmly KNOCK IT OFF, and

LOOK IN THE MIRROR:RORRIM EHT NI KOOL 

People, frankly,

do not want to get sucked into your

s#!+STORM;

(note poop-brown color)

it's not interesting,

it's draining,

and it lacks integrity.

For those of us who have been the recipient of such diatribes:

• RELAX. Breathe. It's not about you!
• As Chopra said, DO NOT DEFEND YOURSELF. "Completely desist from defending your point of view." Everything in the Universe is energy, and in these situations, we need to conserve our energy for ourselves. Defending takes your energy away. 
• Know that this is need-seeking behavior (not about you) and try to have compassion for the person who persecutes you; remember time when you have done the same.
• LOVE YOURSELF EVEN MORE--WHATEVER THAT LOOKS LIKE FOR YOU. Here are some ideas that work for me:
• take a salt bath.
• exercise.
• change your environment.
• meditate (don't medicate . . .)
• write.
• scream into a pillow.
• rest.
• watch your favorite stupid show.

What are your feelings and thoughts about these emotional VaMpIrES?  How do you handle them in your amazing Life?

Let us know in the comments!

MonSTer (but not vampire) LovE!

Dana

We keep repeating our patterns until we finally learn . . .

Yikes !#$%^$%^^*!

I was punched in the face yesterday by an interesting pattern in my life.

OUCH!~and double OUCH! 

Guess why.

Because (I allow) the same person to keep triggering me and pushing my buttons, and rather than detach, I got sucked into the emotionally toxic tornado and reacted---

I got frustrated, sad, furious, and sad again. And then really pissed!

I felt like a victim having a hissy-fit slash temper-tantrum.

Know why I was mad? 

Another person's values are not the same as mine--and because of this, we each behave in different ways and we each prioritize things differently. And guess what? As I was having my fit, I realized that I was exhibiting the same behavior that had apparently triggered me. Funny how that works.

Now, you may wonder why I don't walk away from this relationship, but sometimes that is just not possible--in which case, the practice of detachment without judgement can come in handy; after all, I want the same from others, right? 

Not so easy--especially when I am reacting already--which is definitely not a place of choice . . . (thank you for the opportunity, Universe. I think) . . . 

Very often the most difficult relationships can be my best teachers--I know this to be true, but sometimes it just sucks. The good thing is, that after about ten or twenty minutes of reacting and getting myself worked up into a tightly wound knot (I almost threw up!), I caught myself and began to intentionally breathe deep and long. 

No coincidence that I just started another 15-day meditation practice and I learned this breathing technique yesterday in the bathtub on DAY ONE: "Quiet Your Mind."  The introduction for today read: 

The most powerful tool for quieting the mind is the breath. It has the ability to both calm and revive you. By learning to focus on your breath, you become more aware of your total body, and less susceptible to the harrowing effects of life’s stressful situations.

Healing Rhythms 15-day Meditation

It's totally free! (click to register)

Things were looking up and I felt more in control. I went outside to calm down, get some fresh air and breathe, and I found a package on my front steps. I took it as a sign (of course). I mean, who doesn't want a package?

And here is a picture of what was in my package: Kisse's Sweet and Treats.

Wonderful!

And then, I went to my super sweet boyfriend's house,

and the lilacs were in full bloom and they smelled like heaven. 

Thank you so much, Lord.

Life is god. Good. 

My life is amazing.

No Drama.

I love you all!

Dana

aLL is LoVe . . .

***********************************************************

The evolution of all spiritual life,
Dana Lynne,

includes 3 absolutes:

1. You will love. 
2. You will be loved. 
3. The former will eventually be 

far more important to you than the latter. 

Grasshopper, 
The Universe
***********************************************************

GuEsS wHaT? The LoVe is in you! I used to think that the love I needed was going to come from someone or something outside myself (and it very often does, and that's a huge bOnUs!), but when I want to feel love, I have to remember that I have to love me first and connect in with my Source!

If something's missing in my life, it's missing 'cuz I am NOT GIVING IT TO MYSELF (. . . and, at first, that totally stinks to realize because it means that we have to STOP complaining about everybody else not giving us what we need, and figure out how to give it to ourselves . . . which is actually un-sucky, and powerful in a cool way...)

FYI: just want you to know that at first, this idea really bugged me (and pissed me off, actually), 'cuz it meant that I am in charge (and I have to stop blaming others for me!), but, at the same time, the good news is that I AM IN CHARGE . . . of ME! And, why would I want to give my sUpErPoWerS away, anyway? (so we can stay "victimized" and not take responsibility? hmmnnnn . . . sounds miserable!) 

. . . which leads me back to the fact that I am in charge of my own stories and my own 

hApPiNeSs! 

Here's a cool grownup blogger who has some ideaS:

30 tHinGs to Start dOinG fOr YoU!

Seems kind of weird that in order to receive love, we have to love, but it has to start with us loving ourselves before we can love others.

What's important is that we love ourselves, and then we love others with no expectations.

We just love because it feels good . . . and right . . . and true.

For me, I know that I am loving, and to keep myself from being loving or restrict myself from being loving feels very difficult, really tough . . . and well, NOT ME.

Love is always bestowed as a gift –

freely, willingly and without expectation.

We don’t love to be loved;

we love to love.

~Leo Buscaglia

ALL is WELL! 
ALL is LoVe . . .

;) Dana