heLLo . . . & gO(o)d . . . bYe . . .

Whether obvious or not, and usually it's not,

everyone in your life is there to help you,

AND, they're actually doing so right now.

We call this the

Everyone In Your Life Is There To Help You Rule.

Tallyho,

The Universe

Which, incidentally, doesn't mean you have to keep them there.

In fact, their offering may simply be to teach you to say "adios."

Hello!

Looking back at my life, I can see how every person I've met and each relationship in my life has taught me very much--and, if I trust the Universe, I know these relationships were sent to me intentionally for my benefit. For me, this means feeling gratitude for the amazing people I know and (and this is harder for me to wrap my brain around) for the difficult people and relationships in my life, too.

Just like my message from the Universe says--sometimes, people are sent to us in relationship to help us learn what we don't want, what we will no longer tolerate, or what no longer serves our highest good. In other words, sometimes characters arrive for us so we can learn boundaries, . . . and eventually how to detach with love and say Go(o)dbye, or adios. 

Sometimes it doesn't take too long to say hello & goodbye . . . and sometimes, we may hang on trying to make things work for years, while on the inside we are already saying goodbye 'cuz we're so lonely . . . we grieve alone quietly while we are still physically in the relationship . . . in which case our goodbyes can take years, even decades.

But that's okay, too. We say goodbye when we are ready. It's all perfect timing.

Thankfully, we can turn away from those relationships that no longer fit, and continue on our journey with gratitude, knowing that even the tough ones have been our best teachers. 

Saying goodbye takes courage, and faith, and and a deep inner knowing that all is well and will continue to be well. When we say goodbye, we open up an amazing space of possibilities for all the great stuff to arrive! We can continue to do our best and stay in our integrity--with the help of our faithful friends, and the Universe behind us.

Go(o)dbye! 

Lots of Love ;)

Dana

Let('s) Go . . .

"Let Go"

05.12.17.

Yesterday I wrote about letting go of people and patterns that no longer serve us, and for me, that has always been tough--especially because somewhere along the line I learned that it is important that people like me. 

As a matter of fact, I can remember when I was in elementary school, in the midst of 30+ kids in my classroom who I pretty much got along with, I would focus on pleasing and making friends with the one kid who didn't like me. What the HE(LL)CK? Like how people feel about me is in my control? 

More INSANITY! (see yesterday's blog . . .)

Why do we settle for crumbs in our relationships when we all deserve delicious cake?! 

Sometimes, we keep friends around, even when we are uncomfortable for whatever reason--we give too much, we are constantly criticized or told what to do, or we just can't be ourselves.

Sometimes, we hang on just because we are afraid of being alone.

Someone is better than no one, right?  (top secret RED FLAG . . .)

If we are mean to ourselves, and pay close attention to and listen to our inner mean girl, why shouldn't others be mean to us, as well? We draw into our lives people who reflect or mirror how we treat ourselves. 

Why don't we have the courage to let go of those relationships? 

When I was in middle school, I used to wonder why other kids were mean to me; I actually believed some of the rotten stuff they said, and I hardly ever stuck up for myself. This kept happening over and over again, even spilling into my adult life.

Hmmmmnnnnnn...that's interesting...

Have you ever noticed that the SAME characters keep showing up in your life (with different faces, of course) until you learn the lesson you are supposed to learn ? Funny how that works! 

We teach people how to behave toward us with our boundaries. It doesn't matter whether they are friends or lovers--people treat us the way we allow ourselves to be treated.

I think we actually train (yep, as in training dogs! ) the people in our lives by what we are willing to put up with. I mean, what is the first word we teach a dog?

"NO."

First, we train a dog about what we are NOT willing to put up with; then, we reward the dog when it behaves in a way that is acceptable to us. 

Hmmnn... lessons from dogs!

Would you keep a dog in your house who constantly barked at you and nipped at your fingers or clamped on to the bottom of your pant legs? Absolutely not. 

So, if you are noticing that you surround yourself with people who aren't very nice to you, ask yourself "Why?" They are a reflection of how you feel about you! Otherwise, you would not put up with them . . .you would walk away! Insert amazing poem:

Autobiography in Five Short Chapters

Chapter 1

I walk down the street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I fall in.
I am lost ... I am helpless.
It isn't my fault.
It takes forever to find a way out.

Chapter 2

I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I pretend I don't see it.
I fall in again.
I can't believe I am in the same place.
But it isn't my fault.
It still takes a long time to get out.

Chapter 3

I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I see it is there.
I still fall in ... it's a habit.
My eyes are open.
I know where I am.
It is my fault.
I get out immediately.

Chapter 4

I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I walk around it.

Chapter 5

I walk down another street.

~ Portia Nelson ~ 

Walking down another street can be a really hard, brave thing to do, and sometimes we don't have choices about the people who surround us--like on teams, at work, or in school. 
When that happens, we can just look to others with love and detachment, and be 
on our way . . . following our own path and not looking back.

Enough, already!

“If you let go a little you will have a little peace; 

if you let go a lot you will have a lot of peace; 

if you let go completely you will have complete peace.” 

~Ajahn Chah

Lately, I have been reminded of the power of letting go. Of control, of relationships, and of expectations. I have also been reminded that in general, people don't change. The question is, why do I keep engaging with someone if they repeatedly silence me and treat me with disrespect and disdain? I mean, sometimes these icky people are hard to avoid--for example, in our workplaces--in which case I try to keep an arms length.

We can choose to detach, emotionally, from these toxic individuals, and that's not as easy for me as I would like. I sometimes race up in my head (most often in the middle of the night!) to wake up and wonder, "What the hell happened?" And then the emotional hangover ensues.

Have you ever noticed that the same lessons keep showing up in life and we are like, "Why does this keep happening to me?" It's because we keep putting ourselves in the same situation, expecting different results. It's also called INSANITY. 

I truly believe the repeating pattern is the Universe trying to get our attention . . . because  we need to do something different.

Luckily, we can decide to NEVER PUT OURSELVES in the position where the same thing can happen to us again. Each of us gets to decide who we want to let into our inner circle; we can intentionally surround ourselves with people who recognize us, who hear us, and who lift us up.

Somewhere along the line, I learned the importance of being nice, of second chances, and of tolerance--all of which serve a purpose, to an extent. And being a spiritual person, I often try to rise above it all.

But there comes a time when enough is enough. 

CrEaTe Ur LiFe of POSSIBiLitiEs!

Move ForWarD iNtO yOuR fUtUre

hEy funfreePeePLEs!

Today will be a bit short, but I just want to mention that in moving on and finding me, I've had to let go of some relationships and patterns from my past . . . and other people don't always appreciate that or like that about me. 

And that's actually okay . . . it's part of growing. After all, snakes shed their skins, trees lose their leaves, and we replace the cels in our bodies as we grow and live.

So, what do we do when we have to set boundaries and move on? Not anything so dramatic. . . 

Here's a video from MarieForleo TV that talks about people holding you back (which is actually made up in your mind...) check it out!

Let me know what you think about her message! What pretend stuff holds you back? And, how do you you overcome it?

Thanks & so much LovE!

d-dog

wHy yOu GoTta bE sO ME(an)?

Taylor Swift

"Mean"

Hey All--

OMG! My daughter and I were at the Taylor Swift concert in Saint Paul, MN last year--her first concert and my first in a super long time! It was amazing and overwhelming . . . and Taylor Swift is adorable and real.

I was so impressed and surprised when she began talking about bullying and mean kids. She spoke about her own experience of being a victim of mean kids when she was a youth, and she said that the most important thing we can take away from these experiences is to make sure that we never, EVER make anyone else feel small and pathetic the way these mean kids made us feel. That was the takeaway.

Chloe and I wept and held each other while she sang the song, "Mean."

Hmnnnn . . . made me so grateful that someone as famous as Taylor Swift had an enduring message for my impressionable, precious baby girl (okay, she's in 6th grade now but WHAT-EVAH!).

Sometimes, we keep mean friends around, even when we are uncomfortable--we give too much, we are criticized or told what to do, or we just can't be ourselves. Often, we even hang on just because we are afraid of being alone, or we just get used to people treating us in a mean or cruel way (happens with grownups, too).

Someone is better than no one, right? No. 

If we are mean to ourselves, and pay close attention to and listen to our inner mean girl, why shouldn't others be treat us in the same way, as well? Like I wrote about yesterday, we attract or draw into our lives people who reflect or mirror how we treat ourselves.

We need courage to let go of those relationships and form a better relationship with ourselves--one based on self-respect, honor, and love . . . for ourselves. That means letting go of the ones that no longer serve us in a positive, nurturing, constructive and loving way.

And guess what? 

Then we create room and open up space for other relationships to arrive that better meet our needs and are a better fit!

In school, just like in the Taylor Swift song, I used to wonder why other girls were so mean to me; I believed the rotten stuff they said about me, and I never stuck up for myself or argued with them (btw, I think I made up a lot of this dRaMA up in my own head!).

This kept happening over and over again. 

Hmmmmnnnnnn...

Have you ever noticed that the SAME stuff keeps showing up in your life until you learn your lesson ?!!!!?

Funny how that works! Thanks You-niverse!

It doesn't matter whether the friends are girls or boys--people treat us the way we allow ourselves to be treated (same when you are grown up!...)! 

So, if you notice that you are surrounded with meanies who aren't very nice to you, ask yourself "Why?" 

Maybe they aren't members of your tribe, after all! LET THEM GO AND LOVE YOURSELF, and then find and attract people who are a reflection of how (amazing) you feel about (amazing)you!

Love ME & U,
;) dana

everyONE is a gIfT . . .

Whether obvious or not,

and usually it's not,
everyone in your life is there to help you,

AND, they're actually doing so right now.
We call this the

Everyone In Your Life Is There To Help You Rule.

Tallyho,
The Universe

Which, incidentally, doesn't mean you have to keep them there.

In fact, their offering may simply be to teach you to say "adios."

Hello!

Looking back at my life, I can see how every person I've met and each relationship in my life has taught me very much--and, if I trust the Universe, I know these relationships were sent to me intentionally for my benefit. For me, this means feeling gratitude for the amazing people I know and (and this is harder for me to wrap my brain around) for the difficult people and relationships in my life, too.

Just like my message from the Universe says--sometimes, people are sent to us in relationship to help us learn what we don't want, what we will no longer tolerate, or what no longer serves our highest good. In other words, sometimes characters arrive for us so we can learn boundaries, . . . and eventually how to detach with love and say Go(o)dbye, or adios. 

Sometimes it doesn't take too long to say hello & goodbye . . . and sometimes, we may hang on trying to make things work for years, while on the inside we are already saying goodbye 'cuz we're so lonely . . . we grieve alone quietly while we are still physically in the relationship . . . in which case our goodbyes can take years, even decades.

But that's okay, too. We say goodbye when we are ready. It's all perfect timing.

Thankfully, we can turn away from those relationships that no longer fit, and continue on our journey with gratitude, knowing that even the tough ones have been our best teachers. 

Saying goodbye takes courage, and faith, and and a deep inner knowing that all is well and will continue to be well. When we say goodbye, we open up an amazing space of possibilities for all the great stuff to arrive! We can continue to do our best and stay in our integrity--with the help of our faithful friends, and the Universe behind us.

Go(o)dbye! 

Lots of Love ;)

Dana

cOme OuT & pLaY! yAy!

LeT's pLay! . . . 4-eVeR!

dEar aLL of yOU(s)!

One thing I love about my job as a mom and a teacher?  Kids all playing together! Amazing! We bIg kIdS have a lot to learn from the little ones . . . or, I should say, we gRoWn uPs have a LoT to LeaRn about ReMeMBerINg to be KiDs!

This might be weird, but one thing I notice and celebrate is that kids have to continue working things out if they want to keep playing together. Like, for example, there is a flow of communication that naturally happens as a result of the kids wanting to CONTINUE to PLAY! 

So, there's this amazing cycle in no particular order of:

• GIVE AND TAKE & SHARING: "Here's a watermelon Jolly Rancher for you..." or, "Do you want to share my blankie?"
• TAKING EACH OTHER'S STUFF ("That's my shovel", "Hey! I wanted the last piggy in a blanket!")
• FIGHTING
• TESTING LIMITS & BOUNDARIES (aka...what can I get away with!)
• SETTING BOUNDARIES (e.g. "I don't like that!" or "You can't say shut up to me"
• MESSING UP: "Oops. Mom, I spilled the nail polish on the table..."
• feeling whatever the he(l)k they feel LIKE--BEING MAD (like, throwing a tantrum with no apologies)...SAD ...and SUPER DUPER HAPPY & ECSTATIC (but mostly the good stuff)
• SAYING "I'M SORRY"... and actually meaning it...
• FORGIVING: "That's okay. I know you didn't mean it..."
• MAKING UP---HUG!... FIST BUMP!...HIGH FIVE!
• BREAKING THE RULES...again!
• CALLING EACH OTHER OUT ON BREAKING THE RULES
• CREATING NEW RULES

AND STARTING OVER AGAIN...

and again...

and again

• and, 'cuz playing is way more fun than fighting, there is a natural move toward communication and collaboration with the kiddos
• and, when things get too tough, kids take a break, ask for help from a grown up or another kid, simply find another more suitable kid to play with . . . or, move entirely to another playground!

(do you know where I'm going with this yet?)

Hmmmnnnn...interesting!

What if grown ups took lessons from kids about how to keep playing together? You know, no drama, say what ya gotta say, renegotiate, and MOVE ON? That's what I want to do with my friends & loved ones . . . KEEP PLAYING!

LiFe is gO(o)D! Just sayin'

dana, the great

(tiara, please . . . )

bE (the) cEntEr(eD) (in ThE sTorM . . .)

"Within you there is a stillness and a sanctuary 

to which you can retreat at any time and be yourself."

Hermann Hesse

hApPy wEEeeEeEEee!(kend), y'aLL!

About BEing still . . . the thing about not being so dang bUsy, is that you get to hang with yoUrself, which is super awesome but can also be scary if you are one of those people who loves to BE bUsY (like Me!). 

One cool thing is, that if you can get used to checking in with yourself, you can be still no matter where you are--even if you are at the Mall of America, in New York City, or in the middle of crAzY bFf dRAma!

You know, every tornado has a center, and in the center of the tornado there is stillness. When we find oUrselves in the midst of a tornado, we can choose to go to the sweet spot of the storm and remain calm and cOOL, or, we can enter the dRaMa fULLy and get sucked into the sTorM!

sTor(m)y oPPorTunity: This is especially true in miDdLe school . . . can you relate? I am an 8th grade teacher, and last year I ate lunch with some of my fLaVor-ite kids alMost evEry day (what up LuNcH cLuB %^#$%^#R%$%). One of my super fav girls was talking one day about her friends, and she said that in 7th grade, she got stuck in soSOSOoso SOSOSOso much drama because she tried to be friends with eVeryOne . . . and it got her in trouble 'cuz when she was friends with eVeryone she was friends with no One, really--AnD she got drAgGed into everything.

So, (as she told us), she decided to figure out who she wanted to hang with, and keep only those peeps close--and GueSs WhAt?

Her DraMa got much much much smaller  .  .  . 

Anyway, the point is (wait for it ... wait for it ...)

We choose our own busY-ness, and our own dRaMa. 

Personally, I'd rather be calm and centered than be out in the middle of other people's storms!

SwEeT dAy to aLL!
hearts!
 :0 ) dana

nO MEans nO . . . (and yEs to ME)! yAy!

Hey FreEple!

So yesterday I blOgGed about trUsting yoUrself and your inner S(elf) and listening to your gut (aka third chakra!). I don't know about you--but I have spent a HUGE amount of time and energy saying yes all my life...to stuff I didn't really want to do in my GUT.

We humans tend to do this out of fear, like, for example, here's what we think in our silly melon-heads:

If I don't __________(fill in the blank) . . . 
            . . . then (here comes the made up story) someone might:

• be mad at me
• not like me
• be disappointed

or,

• I might miss out
• everybody else is doing it
• I won't be popular

Do you want to make your decisions and live your life based on fear of outside stuff (which you are actually making up in your head and which probably will NEVER happen), or do you want to trUst your gUt, say NO (or H-no!) which means you are also saying YES to U and basing your decisions on lOvE and trUst of Ur inside stuff (Ur gut)!
That's what it means to put the U in trUst. In the groWn uP world, we call this setting boundaries. It's kinda like claiming your territory as a person who gets to choose what feels right for U firmly (and sometimes gently)with NO apologies. 

BTW: U can't say yes to others unless U say it to U first, yo (U)!
Just sayin'! Can I get a WOOT-WOOT?!

Love (me first), and then lOvE U--- sosososos mUch!
:) Ur sEcReT aDmiRer, 
dAna

Rule 7: "We are Mirrors"

heLLo funfreefollowing!

My intention for the next 10 days is to dig into Cherie Carter-Scott's work, "Ten Rules for Being Human." Here's her list--I'll focus on one rule each day! Today is rule 7:

Other people are merely mirrors of you. You cannot love or hate something about another person unless it reflects to you something you love or hate about yourself.

We often settle for crumbs in our friendships when we all deserve the most delicious cake! Sometimes, we keep friends around, even when we are uncomfortable for whatever reason--we give too much, we are constantly criticized or told what to do, or we just can't be ourselves. Sometimes, we hang on just because we are afraid of being alone. Someone is better than no one, right? No Way!  Yikes!  RED FLAG!!!!!!

If we are mean to ourselves, and pay close attention to and listen to our inner mean girl, why shouldn't others be mean to us, as well? We draw into our lives people who reflect or mirror how we treat ourselves. 

Why don't we have the courage to let go of those friendships?

When I was in middle school, I used to wonder why other girls were so mean to me; I believed the rotten stuff they said about me, and I never stuck up for myself or argued with them.

This kept happening over and over again. Hmmmmnnnnnn...that's interesting...

Have you ever noticed that the SAME characters keep showing up in your life (with different faces, of course) until you learn the lesson you are supposed to learn ?!!!!?
Funny how that works! 

We teach people how to treat us. It doesn't matter whether the friends are girls or boys--people treat us the way we allow ourselves to be treated (BTW--it's the same when you are grown up!...)

You know, we actually train (yep, as in training dogs! ) the people in our lives how to treat us by what we are willing to put up with, and I believe this is soOoOoo true!

What is the first word we teach a dog?
"NO."
First, we teach a dog what we are NOT willing to put up with; then, we reward the dog when it behaves in a way that is acceptable to us. 

Hmmnn... lessons from dogs!

Would you keep a dog in your house who constantly barked at you and nipped at your fingers or clamped on to the bottom of your pant legs? Absolutely not!!!! (and if you did, who would be the problem? you? or the dog?...just sayin'...) 

So, if you are noticing that you surround yourself with people who aren't very nice to you, ask yourself "Why?" 
They are a reflection of how you feel about you! Otherwise, you would not put up with them...you would walk away! 

Walking down another street can be a really hard, brave thing to do, and sometimes we don't have choices about the people who surround us--like on teams, at work, or in school. 
When that happens, we can just look to others with love and detachment, and be 
on our way . . . on our own path. 

Much love!

Dana

pEEps in Ur LiFe r MIRRORS:SRORRIM of U!

Karla & Jeanie: Doppelgangers

September, 2012

hEy fun & freePeePS!

Have you ever heard that everyone of us in the world has a double (someone who looks just like you) somewhere in time? Funny thing is, they may be YOU at a different age, so you may not recognize them.

I have been asked by my students many times if I was at ______ (enter random location and time) and they swear they saw me! Apparently, there is a woman who looks exactly like me in the town where I work (40 miles from where I actually live). Has this ever happened to you?

If you look at the  picture above, you'll see two different women, 10 years apart. This is a picture I took of two friends--one I've known for over 15 years (Karla, on the left), and one, I just met (Jeanie, on the right).

When I met Jeanie, about two months ago--I freaked! 

Not only did she look like a tad bit older version of my good friend, Karla (who I've taught with for a super long time)--BUT THEY ACTUALLY TALK AND ACT LIKE ME, and MINI-ME! I could hardly stand it! So when Jeanie came to my school, I had to introduce them to each other and take this amazing me/mini-me picture!

In literature, they are called Doppelgangers, or, literally, "double-walkers." And, that's the point to this blog, actually.

Everyone in our lives mirrors parts of us.

Know why? "Cuz we assign the meaning of others actions, words, behaviors, and ways of being through our own lenses. That means when we recognize something in others, there must be a similar trait in our own lives that is being mirrored back to us.

My friend, Nancy, reminded me of this today, when I had a physical reaction to an event in my life. She thinks I may need therapy . . . (which may be the case) BUT TRUTHFULLY, I have been outsourcing my mental health, and my physical and emotional well-being my whole life. And I think (truthfully) that it's big business (busy-ness). 

I do appreciate her pushing me to look at and embrace my own shadows. I know this for sure: I project my own shadows to the circumstances and people in my life--I just need to own it. 

Which brings me back to surrounding myself with peeps who reflect my BEST SELF, and setting boundaries around those relationships where we don't show up in our best light (although these can be some of our best opportunities for growth).

Everyone in our lives can serve as a Doppelganger, if we pay attention. The important thing, is to take responsibility for what we create as reflections. It's all amazing learning, after all!

We are so, so lucky!

dana:anad  

p.s. get the mirror thang? grOOvy bAby!

rIsE aBoVe iT (and lOvE yOu!) . . .

“When it rains, most birds head for shelter; 

the Eagle is the only bird that,
in order to avoid the rain, 

starts flying above the cloud.”

Hey fUnFreePeePs!

Yesterday I wrote a little bit about breaking free from the relationships that don't feel positive and that do not support your highest good. Sometimes, we keep friends around, even when we are uncomfortable for whatever reason--we give too much, we are criticized or told what to do, or we just can't be ourselves. Sometimes, we hang on just because we are afraid of being alone.

Someone is better than no one, right? No Way!  Yikes!  RED FLAG!!!!!!

If we are mean to ourselves, why shouldn't others be treat us in the same way, as well? We draw into our lives people who mirror how we treat ourselves. 

We really need courage to let go of these  yucky friendships ##$?! And guess what? Then we make room for other peeps who are a better fit!

In middle school, I used to wonder why other girls were so mean to me; I believed the rotten stuff they said about me, and I never stuck up for myself or argued with them (btw, I think I made up a lot of this dRaMA up in my own head!)
This kept happening over and over again. 

Hmmmmnnnnnn...

Have you ever noticed that the SAME stuff keeps showing up in your life until you learn your lesson ?!!!!?

Funny how that works! Thanks You-niverse!

It doesn't matter whether the friends are girls or boys--people treat us the way we allow ourselves to be treated (BTW--it's the same when you are grown up!...)! So, if you notice that you hang with peeps who aren't very nice to you, ask yourself, "Why?" 

MAybe they aren't your pEEps, after all! 

They are a reflection of how you feel about you! So, what if you love yourself enough to rise above the storm--like an EaGle! 

fLy hiGh and fRee little cHickaDee!

Love U,
;) dana

heLp yOUrselF to CaKe . . .noT cRumBs!

Hey All--

I was thinking about how often we settle for crumbs in our friendships when we all deserve the most delicious cake! Sometimes, we keep friends around, even when we are uncomfortable for whatever reason--we give too much, we are constantly criticized or told what to do, or we just can't be ourselves.

Sometimes, we hang on just because we are afraid of being alone.

Someone is better than no one, right? No Way!  Yikes!  RED FLAG!!!!!!

If we are mean to ourselves, and pay close attention to and listen to our inner mean girl, why shouldn't others be mean to us, as well? We draw into our lives people who reflect or mirror how we treat ourselves. 

Why don't we have the courage to let go of those relationships? 

When I was in middle school, I used to wonder why other girls were so mean to me; I believed the rotten stuff they said about me, and I never stuck up for myself or argued with them. This kept happening over and over again. Hmmmmnnnnnn...that's interesting...
Have you ever noticed that the SAME characters keep showing up in your life (with different faces, of course) and doing the yucky crap u don't appreciate over & over until you learn the lesson you are supposed to learn ?!!!!? Funny how that works! 

We teach people how to treat us.
It doesn't matter whether the friends are girls or boys--people treat us the way we allow ourselves to be treated (BTW--it's the same when you are grown up!...)

You know, we actually train (yep, as in dogs! ) the people in our lives how to treat us by what we are willing to put up with, and I believe this is soOoOoo true!

What is the first word we teach a dog?
"NO."
First, we teach a dog what we are NOT willing to put up with; then, we reward the dog when it behaves in a way that is acceptable to us. Hmmnn... lessons from dogs!

Would you keep a dog in your house who constantly barked at you and bit at your fingers or clamped onto the bottom of your pant legs? Or crapped on the floor? Absolutely not!!!! (and if you did, who would be the problem? you? or the dog?...just sayin'...) 

So, if you are noticing that you surround yourself with people who aren't very nice to you, ask yourself "Why?"  They are a reflection of how you feel about you! Otherwise, you would not put up with them...you would walk away! 

Which reminds me of an amazing poem by Portia Nelson:

Autobiography in Five Short Chapters

Chapter 1

I walk down the street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I fall in.
I am lost ... I am helpless.
It isn't my fault.
It takes forever to find a way out.

Chapter 2

I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I pretend I don't see it.
I fall in again.
I can't believe I am in the same place.
But it isn't my fault.
It still takes a long time to get out.

Chapter 3

I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I see it is there.
I still fall in ... it's a habit.
My eyes are open.
I know where I am.
It is my fault.
I get out immediately.

Chapter 4

I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I walk around it.

Chapter 5

I walk down another street.

~ Portia Nelson ~ 

Walking down another street can be a really hard, brave thing to do, and sometimes we don't have choices about the people who surround us--like on teams, at work, or in school, or in our families. When that happens, we can just look to others with love and detachment, and be on our way . . . on our own path. 

Much love!

Dana