bE aFrAid (not)!

"Do one thing every day that scares you."

~Eleanor Roosevelt

Hey All fUn&fRee feArLESS pEoplE:

Be aFraid! be very afraId . . .! 

Are you scared of being scared? I am. It makes me want to run away and try to control or forget the yucky stuff that scares me. As Eleanor Roosevelt recommends, we should do some (one)thing everyday that scares us. Which, really means, that we must try to tune in to what we are scared of--AND INTENTIONALLY DO THE THING THAT scArEs us The MoStEsT!  . . . seems kind of counter-intuitive, doesn't it?

For me, the scariest thing lately (as in, for the past 10 years), is speaking my truth and sharing my feelings.

I've never been very good at this. You see, I never thought my feelings were right (have you ever heard of right feelings? OMG), and I never got that my voice was, well, worthy of being heard, truth be told (why did I believe my voice was less important than anyone else's?). 
I never got that others valued what I had to say, and that is what caused me to take my feelings
     U
          N
               D
                    E
                         R
GROUND
and even medicate myself with unhealthy behaviors, attitudes, mindsets, and patterns. I am so, so lucky, that the important people in my life are willing to hear the truth, albeit SUPER KLUNKY most of the time. . .  (namely, Keith, Max & Chloe, Mom, Chris, Shelley, Celia, Alana, Brenda, Edward, Diane).
     

HEAR ME NOW,

funfreepeople:

FEAR

(in disguise)

IS OUR

BEST

FRIEND

as in,

our best opportunity for growth.

A mentor of mine, Mastin, has taught me that my fear informs me what I MUST to do next--like a signpost or a roadmap. For example, if I'm scared of telling my friend how I feel or share what I think,  it's EXACTLY what I need to DO!  OMG! It's the total OPPOSITE of how I've lived much of my life. I'm so lucky and blessed that I (sort of) get it now. . .

"Go to your fears, sit with them, stare at them.

Your fears are your friend, their only job is to show you undeveloped parts

of yourself that you need to cultivate to live a happy life.

The more you do the things you're most afraid of doing the more life opens up.

Embrace your fears and your fears will embrace you."

- Jackson Kiddard

So, according to this amazing quote, we are suposed to be friends with stuff that scares the CrAp out of us--and, (what the heck?)--our fears are FRIENDS--they show us what we NEED TO DO--WHAT WE MUST DO-- TO GROW.

Story opportunity: My daughter, Chloe, told me she saw a book called Courage (Waber) that she wanted to get--so, we went down to our awesome neighborhood bookstore called the Wild Rumpus and bought the book!

                     

So weird! When we got home, I received a package from UPS delivering a book that I forgot I had ordered a few months back. 

Guess what it was called? Courage (Ford)! 

We had both wanted the same book? AND they arrived on the same day! 

Coincidence? NO WAY! Synchronicity? YES WAY!

SO what exactly is synchronicity?

English teacher moment:

syn = same

chron = time

icity = the quality of

So, it basically means the quality of occurring at the same time. I also call these magical moments, awakening calls, fairy whispers, Universe knocks, GodWinks, and signs.

They call: HEAR ME! PAY ATTENTION. THIS IS NOT A COINCIDENCE.

These moments happen to me almost every day now, because I have learned to pay attention and listen. It could be a stranger's conversation, a piece of paper I find, a bug or an animal, or a hug from my children. 

Have you faced a fear lately? Or, have you ever experienced a synchronicity that u were aware of? Let me know in the comments!

No coincidences, yo! So much love!

;0) Dana

Let('s) Go . . .

"Let Go"

05.12.17.

Yesterday I wrote about letting go of people and patterns that no longer serve us, and for me, that has always been tough--especially because somewhere along the line I learned that it is important that people like me. 

As a matter of fact, I can remember when I was in elementary school, in the midst of 30+ kids in my classroom who I pretty much got along with, I would focus on pleasing and making friends with the one kid who didn't like me. What the HE(LL)CK? Like how people feel about me is in my control? 

More INSANITY! (see yesterday's blog . . .)

Why do we settle for crumbs in our relationships when we all deserve delicious cake?! 

Sometimes, we keep friends around, even when we are uncomfortable for whatever reason--we give too much, we are constantly criticized or told what to do, or we just can't be ourselves.

Sometimes, we hang on just because we are afraid of being alone.

Someone is better than no one, right?  (top secret RED FLAG . . .)

If we are mean to ourselves, and pay close attention to and listen to our inner mean girl, why shouldn't others be mean to us, as well? We draw into our lives people who reflect or mirror how we treat ourselves. 

Why don't we have the courage to let go of those relationships? 

When I was in middle school, I used to wonder why other kids were mean to me; I actually believed some of the rotten stuff they said, and I hardly ever stuck up for myself. This kept happening over and over again, even spilling into my adult life.

Hmmmmnnnnnn...that's interesting...

Have you ever noticed that the SAME characters keep showing up in your life (with different faces, of course) until you learn the lesson you are supposed to learn ? Funny how that works! 

We teach people how to behave toward us with our boundaries. It doesn't matter whether they are friends or lovers--people treat us the way we allow ourselves to be treated.

I think we actually train (yep, as in training dogs! ) the people in our lives by what we are willing to put up with. I mean, what is the first word we teach a dog?

"NO."

First, we train a dog about what we are NOT willing to put up with; then, we reward the dog when it behaves in a way that is acceptable to us. 

Hmmnn... lessons from dogs!

Would you keep a dog in your house who constantly barked at you and nipped at your fingers or clamped on to the bottom of your pant legs? Absolutely not. 

So, if you are noticing that you surround yourself with people who aren't very nice to you, ask yourself "Why?" They are a reflection of how you feel about you! Otherwise, you would not put up with them . . .you would walk away! Insert amazing poem:

Autobiography in Five Short Chapters

Chapter 1

I walk down the street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I fall in.
I am lost ... I am helpless.
It isn't my fault.
It takes forever to find a way out.

Chapter 2

I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I pretend I don't see it.
I fall in again.
I can't believe I am in the same place.
But it isn't my fault.
It still takes a long time to get out.

Chapter 3

I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I see it is there.
I still fall in ... it's a habit.
My eyes are open.
I know where I am.
It is my fault.
I get out immediately.

Chapter 4

I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I walk around it.

Chapter 5

I walk down another street.

~ Portia Nelson ~ 

Walking down another street can be a really hard, brave thing to do, and sometimes we don't have choices about the people who surround us--like on teams, at work, or in school. 
When that happens, we can just look to others with love and detachment, and be 
on our way . . . following our own path and not looking back.

SupER-YoU!

hEy tHeRe!

fEeLiNg BraVe!? I have written often about taking risks and being supported and caught by the You-Niverse. Scary? Not really ('cuz the You-niverse will catch you . . . remember?)
It's GO TIME!

You probably know by now that I don't really believe in coincidence, right? And that everything happens for us (not To us!...) for a reason---but we might not be able to see it at the time 'cuz we have a limited perspective.

That means we can trUst in our gUt and hEarT and act with courage!!!!

Have you ever heard of a random act of kindness? Well, I tripple-dipple-double-dare you to do a random act of courage in the next couple of days! Here are some ideas:

• tell someone how you feel
• do something you are afraid of 
• stick up for yourself
• try something you have always wanted to try
• stick up for someone who is being bUgGeD by other kids (super act of courage)
• start a conversation with someone you don't know!

Here's a video from

SouLPanCakE

(of the Oprah Winfrey Network) 

where some strangers got together 

and found some really cool stuff in common!

(btw, I have a confession . . . 

I am kind of shy with grOwN uPs! 

Ssshhhhhhhhhh . . . please tell EVERYone!)

I don't know about you, but I would be really brave to get into a (random) ball pit with a stranger and start a conversation! Remember when I said that everything happens for a reason? Did you notice that the strangers found amazing and beautiful connections with each other?

Hmmnnnnn . . . cOiNcIdeNcE? . . . NOT!

OpEn yOurselF up to the mAgic, yo! It's everywhere!

Just sayin'!@

loVe sQuAreD!

;) Dana

dOn'T bE . . . (s) CARE (d)!

DeAr fUn & fRee (fearful sometimes) pEEps:

I was reading my post from yesterday, & I wrote about fear, or being scared--and guess what? 

I used to run away when I was scared--like a flight reaction--not even a choice. I know I've grOWn Up a bit, cuz' I now notice the fact that I'm scared and don't necessarily run fReAkY-dEaKy in the other direction . . . (at least not every time . . .)

These days, I try to notice my scared feeling, name it, pause, & breathe--and then maybe walk away, or face whatever I'm scared of, or still run freaky-deaky in the other direction . . . but at least I consciously choose how I want to respond (most of the time).

Point of information (no coincidence): the word, CARE is in sCAREd. It makes me wonder: 

What if we find our greatest gifts and opportunities in our fears? 

I suppose CARE is in sCAREd for a reason--I'm thinking that when we face our fears, the Universe comes in and CAREs for us throughout the process. In other words, we are TOTALLY supported in all the lessons and fears we face--even if we don't always see it or realize it.

Over the past year, I have faced some of my biggest and most painful fears, and it's been pretty tough sometimes . . . but I will tell you this: in the facing of these fears, I found within me a quiet strength I had no idea I possessed, and I have gotten stronger. 

As I wrote a couple of weeks ago:

It takes courage to enter the fire, rather than go AROUND it--I know for me, it's been much easier to go around my fears rather than face them. The problem is, we just can't go around; we must face our shadows, shed light on our dark spaces, and face the fires that consume us--and only when we die and surrender to our fears, is it possible to be reborn into something greater.

If I hadn't had the courage to face my fears, I wouldn't have realized my inner strength . . . and knowing I am strong has helped me face the next sCAREy stuff that shows up.

So what fear have you faced, and how did you come out on the other side? Leave me a comment and let me know!

Lots of sCAREd,

Dana

fAce yOuR fEArs . . . iN tHe fACe!

"The cave you fear to enter holds the treasure you seek.

Fear of the unknown is our greatest fear.

Many of us would enter a tiger's lair before we would enter a dark cave.

While caution is a useful instinct,

we lose many opportunities and much of the adventure of life

if we fail to support the curious explorer within us."

- Joseph Campbell

Dear Peeps;

I have begun a very interesting journey today . . . facing my blocks and fear about GUESS WHAT? 

M$n$Y!

I'm not going into a lot of detail about it, but I finally looked at my finances int he eye in an honest way for the first time in a very long time.

I have been avoiding the subject for a long time, like seriously keeping my head in the sand, but this past week my best friend gave me a kick in the butt (very nicely, by the way), and I finally sat down and did a pseudo budget and guess what I learned:

I have enough money! I also have a great job I love, a beautiful house, and I can provide for my amazing children and for all we need.

I am okay.

What was so very horrifying about my fear of money was not actually learning about it, doing a budget, and beginning to navigate the idea of investing . . .

What was horrifying and the worst was . . .

MY FEAR ABOUT IT

not the actual thing . . .

Anyway, within about two hours of spending time talking through my financial situation, I felt like I was on the road to financial empowerment. I mean, I have a lot to learn--I totally know that--but I know I'm stepping in the right direction, with no shame and no apologies.

Today I faced my fear, and I came out the other side, and it gives me so much

COURAGE

and

STRENGTH

to face more of my fears.

Fear . . . NOT!

Love You,

Dana

bE aFrAiD . . . NOT!

"Do one thing every day that scares you."

~Eleanor Roosevelt

Hey All fUn&fRee feArLESS pEoplE:

Be aFraid! be very afraId . . .! 

Are you scared of being scared? I am. It makes me want to run away and try to control or forget the yucky stuff that scares me. As Eleanor Roosevelt recommends, we should do some (one)thing everyday that scares us. Which, really means, that we must try to tune in to what we are scared of--AND INTENTIONALLY DO THE THING THAT scArEs us The MoStEsT!  . . . seems kind of counter-intuitive, doesn't it?

That's why I faced my fears at VALLEYFAIR (hashtag, VALLEY-SCARE!!!!!).

For me, the scariest thing lately (as in, for the past 10 years), is speaking my truth and sharing my feelings.

I've never been very good at this. You see, I never thought my feelings were right (have you ever heard of right feelings? OMG), and I never got that my voice was, well, worthy of being heard, truth be told (why did I believe my voice was less important than anyone else's?). 
I never got that others valued what I had to say, and that is what caused me to take my feelings
     U
          N
               D
                    E
                         R
GROUND
and even medicate myself with unhealthy behaviors, attitudes, mindsets, and patterns. I am so, so lucky, that the important people in my life are willing to hear the truth, albeit SUPER KLUNKY most of the time. . .  (namely, Keith, Max & Chloe, Mom, Chris, Shelley, Celia, Alana, Brenda, Edward, Diane).
     

HEAR ME NOW,

funfreepeople:

FEAR

(in disguise)

IS OUR

BEST

FRIEND

as in,

our best opportunity for growth.

I know now that my fear informs me what I MUST to do next--like a signpost or a roadmap. For example, if I'm scared of telling my friend how I feel or share what I think,  it's EXACTLY what I need to DO!  OMG! It's the total OPPOSITE of how I've lived much of my life. I'm so lucky and blessed that I (sort of) get it now. . .

"Go to your fears, sit with them, stare at them.

Your fears are your friend, their only job is to show you undeveloped parts

of yourself that you need to cultivate to live a happy life.

The more you do the things you're most afraid of doing the more life opens up.

Embrace your fears and your fears will embrace you."

- Jackson Kiddard

So, according to this amazing quote, we are suposed to be friends with stuff that scares the CrAp out of us--and, (what the heck?)--our fears are FRIENDS--they show us what we NEED TO DO--WHAT WE MUST DO-- TO GROW.

Story opportunity: My daughter, Chloe, told me she saw a book called Courage (Waber) that she wanted to get--so, we went down to our awesome neighborhood bookstore called the Wild Rumpus and bought the book!

So weird! When we got home, I received a package from UPS delivering a book that I forgot I had ordered a few months back. 

Guess what it was called? Courage (Ford)! 

We had both wanted the same book? AND they arrived on the same day! 

Coincidence? NO WAY! Synchronicity? YES WAY!

SO what exactly is synchronicity?

English teacher moment:

syn = same

chron = time

icity = the quality of

So, it basically means the quality of occurring at the same time. I also call these magical moments, awakening calls, fairy whispers, Universe knocks, GodWinks, and signs.

They call: HEAR ME! PAY ATTENTION. THIS IS NOT A COINCIDENCE.

These moments happen to me almost every day now, because I have learned to pay attention and listen. It could be a stranger's conversation, a piece of paper I find, a bug or an animal, or a hug from my children. Here's what Deepak Chopra has to say about synchronicity:

Have you faced a fear lately? Or, have you ever experienced a synchronicity that u were aware of? 

No coincidences, yo! So much love!

;0) Dana

DiVe In! It's DiV(in)e!

"When in deep water, 

become a diver."

~Ralph H. Blum~

Have you ever started something, and you really didn't exactly know what they heck you were doing or where you were going? But you knew it was the right thing to do, anyway?

It's not so easy to continue on a path when you're not sure where you are headed. 

It takes 

courage, 

and it takes

  faith

 (which is the subject of this blog).

Sometimes we have nO iDeA what we are doing, but in our hearts it's the right thing and we can feel it! Has this ever happened to you?...It's kind of like listening to your gut, which I didn't do when I first named this blog (sEe YesTerdAy's PoSt...)

We just need to tell our inner mean voice: 

"stop bugging me!!!!!!!!!"

about why I 

can't or shouldn't 

______________ (fill in the blank).

AND,

stop listening to kids and other stuff (like the media!) that could discourage us.

Yep!#%?  I know that's tough stuff when your a kid or a teenager, and guess what? It's also tough for grown ups!

 Living from the 

IN:SIDE OUT and not the OUT:SIDE IN 

takes courage and faith.

I was watching a video from the OWN network (yeah, that's Oprah!) where she interviewed Ram Dass who is a very well-known spiritual leader.

She asked him about the difference between faith and belief. He basically said that belief is up in your head (remember my first blog about listening to our thoughts? ...WATCH OUT! they might not be true!); he also said that

faith, 

on the other hand, 

comes from your heart.

Hmmmnnnnnn.

What do you want to listen to: your head? your heart?

Maybe they can actually have a conversation! Imagine that!

I don't know about you, but I have spent a lot of my life up in my head thinking...and not always trusting my heart (aka feelings). My head sometimes talks me out of listening to my heart, and I am sick of it! I am learning how to tell my head to 

ZIP IT!

As Carl Jung once wrote: 

“Your vision will become clear only when you look into your heart … 

Who looks outside, dreams. 

Who looks inside, awakens.”

PICTURE THIS...it's a super sweaty day... and you are dying of heat! 
Would you rather stand on the end of the dock for hours thinking about the whether you should jump in? Or, would you rather just jump in and get your butt into the cool water?

Just sayin'  ;) DiVe In!

Lots of LoVe,

Dana

goT bRaVe?

hEy tHeRe!
fEeLiNg BraVe!? Yesterday, I wrote about taking risks and being supported and caught by the You-Niverse. Scary? Not really ('cuz the You-niverse will catch you . . . remember?)
It's GO TIME!
You probably know by now that I don't really believe in coincidence, right? And that everything happens for us (not To us!...) for a reason---but we might not be able to see it at the time 'cuz we have a limited perspective.
That means we can trUst in our gUt and hEarT and act with courage!!!!
Have you ever heard of a random act of kindness? Well, I tripple-dipple-double-dare you to do a random act of courage in the next couple of days! Here are some ideas:

• tell someone how you feel
• try something you have always wanted to try
• stick up for someone who is being bUgGeD by other kids (super act of courage)
• start a conversation with someone you don't know

Here's a video from

SouLPanCakE

(of the Oprah Winfrey Network) 

where some strangers got together 

and found some really cool stuff in common!

(btw, i have a confession . . . 

i am kind of shy with grOwN uPs! 

Ssshhhhhhhhhh . . . don't tell anyone!)

I don't know about you, but I would be really brave to get into a (random) ball pit with a stranger and start a conversation! Remember when I said that everything happens for a reason? Did you notice that the strangers found amazing and beautiful connections with each other?

Hmmnnnnn . . . cOiNcIdeNcE? . . . NOT!

OpEn yOurselF up to the mAgic, yo! It's everywhere!

Just sayin'!@

loVe sQuAreD!

;) dana