Hmnnnn . . . that's a number . . .

06.12.17.

The Number

I had a synchronous event a month ago when I was picking up my dog Teddy from getting a furcut. A woman beside me was also picking up her dog, and she had her hoodie on inside out. Because I am true to my women-folk, I told her about it because it was something I myself would do, and because I would want someone--even a stranger--to tell me.

She laughed, and shared that she had just moved her family here and was in the middle of unpacking, and that she had picked it up off the floor and just put it on before rushing out the door to pick up her rather large pup.

I admitted that I, myself, had slept in my outfit, and we began to chat more as we walked outside.

No coincidence that we are both bloggers, and each of us in our own way blog about spirituality, and the human condition.

And she lives about 2 miles from me. Her name is Sheila Qualls and she has an amazing story. Read about it at SheilaQualls.com.

Hello new friend! Welcome to my tribe!

Anyway, as I read her blog this morning about weight, it resonated with a conversation I had almost 30 minutes earlier with one of my besties, Alana. Here's the backstory:

I had back surgery last fall and was down for about three months after experiencing severe sciatica to the point where I had been crawling around the house last summer for almost 4 months--I literally could barely walk. It was a huge blessing, but also entailed a huge recovery, and I missed my job as a teacher so so much.

Long story short, I have put on almost 20 pounds since my surgery.

There. I said it.

And my body feels weird and foreign (but thank you, God, pain free). That's the gratitude. Anyway, I finally weighed myself this morning, and even though I have lost about 5 pounds, when I was talking to my friend Alana, I shared the number with her almost like I was going to confession--with shame, and an expectation that I would be in the doghouse (don't know from whom . . .).

Shame is interesting.

But when I shared the honest number with her, she said, "Hmnnn . . . that's a number . . .". And that was it.

WHAT THE HE(LL)CK?

And she then was the most supportive and beautiful friend I have ever experienced. Love you, girl!

About a half an hour later, Sheila's blog showed up in my mailbox. Read here: Sheila Qualls. It's a blog about women, weight, the media, and shame.

Coincidence? I think not.

Can't wait to walk our dogs together tomorrow and deconstruct. What a gift! I am so grateful.

Wave Ur FreAk fLaG!

-     

  "Live life fully while you're here. 

Experience everything.

Take care of yourself and your friends.

Have fun, be crazy, be weird.

Go out and screw up!

You're going to anyway,

so you might as well enjoy the process.

Take the opportunity to learn from your mistakes:

find the cause of your problem and eliminate it.

Don't try to be perfect;

just be an excellent example of being human." 

- Anthony Robbins

Do you embrace and live fully in your craZiNeSS? One thing I loVE about the quote from AR is that he encourages us to be super goofy and fUn! When I was doing the spelling bee last week, I was the old person, and I was the only one who dressed up--and I felt a bit awkward, to say the least. But I was so happy and excited to be a part, even though I felt a bit weird.

That can be amazingly scary for folks when they worry a lot about what other people think about them. What I've learned in the last few years, is that if I am play-acting and trying to iMpReSS others about how awesome I am, and I am trying to be a certain way--I am not being truthful 'cuz when I'm trying, it's not me. When I'm me, I don't usually have to try (. . . well, unless I'm in a situation where I would normally do the whole people pleasing BS and I am consciously trying NOT to do it...)

Anyway, being hu(wo)man and ImPerFecKt is so awesome 'cuz I am not TRyIng so hard to control what everyone thinks of me (or what I make up @ what they think of me) aND (bonus) I can relax!

Totally takes the pressure off!

And I can do loving things for myself despite when I screw up---and I am more okay when other people screw up--I can be more loving to them! 

It's all good! 

Here's my new secret: (shhhhhhh . . . please tell EverYonE!)

peOplE

arE

dOing

aNd

BeIng

tHeir 

Best...

and sometimes their best totally sucks to us . . .

(believe me, I get it . . . I've been there!)

BUT ALSO CONSIDER THIS:

Don't you want other pEEpS

to ASSume

you

are always doing and being your bEsT?

So, I challenge you to

PAY IT FORWARD.

sOmEtImeS, (& . . . don't tell nE1 . . .) my best SUCKS! SUCKS HUGE! aND I don'T always know why! Sometimes, my best is to get my butt out of bed and gO pEE, pEEps---'cuz I'm sad, or mad, or SUpEr sTuCk! (but not very often, anymore thankfully . . . )

AnyWay, hope you get what I mEan. When have you given someone else a miss, and let them off the hook of your JUDGEMENT!?

Take Action; Choose Your Path

05.06.17. Yesterday, I shared that the next time I go to Lakewood Cemetery, I will intentionally go to the office to find a map to my brother's gravesite.  As a rather hippy-type person with her head up in the clouds some of the time, and I was expecting to "follow my energy" at the cemetery to find Chris's gravestone three years after his death. I was wrong (but where I was supposed to be . . ). Although I know I wasn't supposed to find Chris's gravesite last Wednesday, I got a strong "Message from the Universe" in my mailbox yesterday morning from TUT.COM which read: ****************************************************** Let's just say, Dana, you're driving down the road listening to some hip-hop, happy kind of music. Then, after a while, you decide you want to hear something else, maybe some classic rock. Would you just hope that the hip-hop station starts playing rock? Would you visualize it, and say, "YES! I believe in the magic! I know thoughts become things! I can 'see’ the Boss now, I can 'hear’ the E Street Band. Thank you, Universe, in advance, I am so grateful!"? Or, after thinking about what you wanted, would you physically change the station? Good. Just checking. Rock on,     The Universe ****************************************************** It hit me that in my hippy-dippy world, I have sometimes felt that if I envision something and give it my full energy, it will happen because of the magic nature of the Universe. And THAT, is actually true. The Universe is so magically delicious (just like Lucky Charms). But I realize I have missed the point, sometimes.  Nothing will happen in my life without my personal and unique agency, my action. And "trusting the Universe" requires my believing in myself enough to move forward to follow my head and my heart (a difficult marriage) and f***ing DO SOMETHING! And as I write this, I am thinking that most people already know this. And that may or may not be true. This is my stuck elementary school self who thought everyone knew all this stuff and I didn't.  But at least I'm questioning it . . .  It doesn't matter. Because this is my unique experience at age 51, and I am a writer, and I share my life's tapestry with you, wherever life may find you.  So sometimes we need a map, and we can try to visualize the hell out of the map arriving, or we can simply ask for it, taking our ego out of the picture.  It's hard to ask for help for some of us who have been on survival. We are warriors, but sometimes, we are weary. When we can share our pain, drop our burdens, let go and ask for help, life becomes a confluence of community and self--and we can finally breathe. We are gratefully not alone. Can I borrow your map?

The Shadow Proves the Sunshine

05.01.17.

It's hard sometimes when we are stuck in the shadows to realize that wherever we put our focus becomes out reality. If we realized that we simply need to turn our face to the sunshine we maybe wouldn't be so attached to the shadow--

Sure, we would still know it's there, but our attention would be elsewhere, basking in the light.

Sometimes, the light can be blinding if we aren't used to looking at it--and if we look at it straight on, it can bee too intense, and burn. But we have to take baby steps . . . and protect ourselves along the way.

It takes intention and presence to look toward the light. And the irony is, that we also must appreciate, acknowledge, and honor the shadow in order to move to the light . . . without shadow the sunshine cannot exist.

In our human existence, we simply cannot experience joy with out its shadow, which can come to us in broken relationships, sadness, major life changes--the things in life that can bring us to our knees.

But that's the point; it's how we grow. And we can be grateful for all of it, because the sun cannot exist without the moon, and we cannot see the moon without the darkness.

If we can get large enough and get out of the particulars, the weeds of our existence, we can begin to imagine the grand scheme of the Universe with gratitude and humility. But the weeds are part of it, and they can be part of the beauty of our existence.

I never knew a dandelion was a weed until the grownups told me to pull them from the garden. 

When I was a kid, I thought dandelions were beautiful pockets of sunshine on Earth; I used to watch their yellow faces follow the sun moving through the sky, and I collected them into the most delicate, ribboned bouquets.

The balance between light and dark, sun and shadow, can by a tricky navigation. Pure momentary presence honors both, and our challenge is to accept wherever we find ourselves with full attention. It's not an easy task, but it's often the resistance to shadow that keeps us from moving and breaking through into the sunlight. But don't underestimate the function of the shadow; after all, the shadow proves the sunshine.

dOn'T jUdGe . . . dOn'T ASSume!

One day a couple of summers ago, my daughter had a doctor's appointment (she's diabetic) about 1/2 hour away from home. We left an hour before her appointment, and since her blood sugar had been running high for the morning, she was really thirsty. I forgot to put a water bottle in the car, so I knew I had to pull over and get Chloe some water...she really couldn't wait the 25 minutes or so before we got to our destination.

I pulled into the parking lot of a little bistro 'cuz there was no street parking, and the only space available was one that read "NO PARKING ALLOWED." Now, when you are a parent, you sometimes have to look at the risks in a situation and decide what is more important; in my case, I would have rather gotten a parking ticket than kept Chloe from getting the water she needed (do you get what I mean?)

Anyway, as we were rushing out of the car to the bistro to get water, two big-haired, blinged-out women wearing high-heels came out of a hair salon (I think I sound a bit judgmental here, don't you? oOps! I guess I do it, too!). 

The taller brunette looked at me in kind of a snotty way, pointed to the sign and shook her finger at me, "You're not supposed to park here. Don't you see the sign?" The momma bear came out in me, and although I don't think I sounded too rude, I for sure was very short and to the point. I looked at her straight in the eye and said, "I understand that, thank you very much. My daughter is diabetic and she needs water." I took my daughter's hand and started to quickly walk away. The brunette looked surprised, and softened a bit and said, "Oh. Do you need some help?" I replied, "No, thank you."

We got a super big drink of water in the little bistro, and then walked back across the street to the NO PARKING (scary!) ZONE.

Guess what? The two women were waiting in their black Ford Escalade until we got back (maybe to make sure we didn't get a ticket? Maybe to see if things were okay? I'll never know . . . ). As we got into the car, the brunette waved to us, smiled, and gave us the thumbs up, and we gave her the double thumbs up back.

*               *                *               *               *               *               *

Hmmnnnnn . . . guess we never know what people are up to when they do stuff WE don't think they should do . . . maybe it's not really our place to judge, huh? Has this ever happened to you? It's kind of humbling, eh? Let me know in the comments! Tell us everything!

LoVinG it aLL!

Dana

bE-iNg hUmAn . . .

Dear FunFreePeeps;

I have been writing for the past few days about embracing our human-ness (our fate, according to Guru Singh) while keeping our hearts open to our soul-purpose (our destiny, according to Guru Singh). I have to admit, sometimes it's tough for me to be vulnerable, to feel my emotions and share them, and to embrace what it means to be human. I try to operate from a place of LOVE & CONNECTION rather than FEAR & PROTECTION, but often I find myself shrinking from connection and inhabiting my protective shell when I feel hurt or sad. It's only human to go into fight, fright, or flight mode. One of my personal human challenges is to try to remain open in my heart even when I feel like shrinking away and disappearing into a tiny insignificant dot.

Can you relate? 

For the next 10 days I'm going to re-feature The 10 Rules For Being Human by Cherie Carter-Scott--focusing on one each day. After all, we are first and foremost . . . HUMAN!

So, today, we'll look the BIG PICTURE, and then, I'll write about one rule each day (in the order that she has them, 'cuz I have to follow the rules, right?!)

Here is an overview: Pretty cool stuff . . .

***********************************************************************************

The Ten Rules For Being Human

by Cherie Carter-Scott

Rule One - You will receive a body.
You may love it or hate it, but it will be yours for the duration of your life on Earth.

Rule Two - You will be presented with lessons.
You are enrolled in a full-time informal school called "life". Each day in this school you will have the opportunity to learn lessons. You may like the lessons or hate them, but you have designed them as part of your curriculum.

Rule Three - There are no mistakes, only lessons.
Growth is a process of experimentation, a series of trials, errors and occasional victories. The failed experiments are as much as a part of the process as the experiments that work.

Rule Four - The lesson is repeated until learned.
Lessons will be repeated to you in various forms until you have learned them. When you have learned them, you can go on to the next lesson. 

Rule Five - Learning does not end.
There is no part of life that does not contain lessons. If you are alive, there are lessons to be learned.

Rule Six - "There" is no better than "here".
When your "there" has become "here" you will simply obtain another "there" that will look better to you than your present "here".

Rule Seven - Others are only mirrors of you.
You cannot love or hate something about another person unless it reflects something you love or hate about yourself.

Rule Eight - What you make of your life is up to you.
You have all the tools and resources you need. What you do with them is up to you.

Rule Nine - Your answers lie inside of you.
All you need to do is look, listen, and trust.

Rule Ten - You will forget all this at birth.
You can remember it if you want by unraveling the double helix of inner-knowing.

**********************************************************

I am so excited to revisit these ten guidelines for life; we'll begin tomorrow with the first . . .
 

heartLOVE!

Dana