I had a synchronous event a month ago when I was picking up my dog Teddy from getting a furcut. A woman beside me was also picking up her dog, and she had her hoodie on inside out. Because I am true to my women-folk, I told her about it because it was something I myself would do, and because I would want someone--even a stranger--to tell me.
She laughed, and shared that she had just moved her family here and was in the middle of unpacking, and that she had picked it up off the floor and just put it on before rushing out the door to pick up her rather large pup.
I admitted that I, myself, had slept in my outfit, and we began to chat more as we walked outside.
No coincidence that we are both bloggers, and each of us in our own way blog about spirituality, and the human condition.
And she lives about 2 miles from me. Her name is Sheila Qualls and she has an amazing story. Read about it at SheilaQualls.com.
Hello new friend! Welcome to my tribe!
Anyway, as I read her blog this morning about weight, it resonated with a conversation I had almost 30 minutes earlier with one of my besties, Alana. Here's the backstory:
I had back surgery last fall and was down for about three months after experiencing severe sciatica to the point where I had been crawling around the house last summer for almost 4 months--I literally could barely walk. It was a huge blessing, but also entailed a huge recovery, and I missed my job as a teacher so so much.
Long story short, I have put on almost 20 pounds since my surgery.
There. I said it.
And my body feels weird and foreign (but thank you, God, pain free). That's the gratitude. Anyway, I finally weighed myself this morning, and even though I have lost about 5 pounds, when I was talking to my friend Alana, I shared the number with her almost like I was going to confession--with shame, and an expectation that I would be in the doghouse (don't know from whom . . .).
Shame is interesting.
But when I shared the honest number with her, she said, "Hmnnn . . . that's a number . . .". And that was it.
WHAT THE HE(LL)CK?
And she then was the most supportive and beautiful friend I have ever experienced. Love you, girl!
About a half an hour later, Sheila's blog showed up in my mailbox. Read here: Sheila Qualls. It's a blog about women, weight, the media, and shame.
Coincidence? I think not.
Can't wait to walk our dogs together tomorrow and deconstruct. What a gift! I am so grateful.
You are aLIVE and yoUr fabulous existence began as a teeny-tiny strand of DNA . . . amazing!
How do you live on purpose, with purpose?
That's a tough one for many of us! I am doing a lot right now to figure out them meaning of my LIFE('s) juiciest purpose, yA kNow . . . what gives me a feeling of passion and what brings me to LIFE! I used to worry a lot more than I do, and I found myself reacting to life rather than responding to it. And when I learned about responding (a more powerful place than reacting) things got better, but I still wasn't living life & loving (myself and others) as a powerful coCreator! I beLIeVE it is my destiny (& yours, too) to be the most powerful and fabulous expression of me I can be! That is each of our highest calling: finding our life's purpose and aligning our lives with it.
So, are you living life small? Or, are you living LARGE and in CHARGE--bursting forward with pursuing the amazing crEaTiVe aCtS that give you energy and passion? The world is a better place when you sHaRe your amazing gifts with the You-niverse, with your fellow travelers--
otherwise, why would you be here?
What presence do you wish to leave as your own personal signature to our delicious and amazing existence? That doesn't mean I believe that life is all "woo-hooish", and there won't be challenges--as a matter of fact, the hArD cRapOla is designed for us so we can learn and become even more amazing (hard to believe when your in the crapper).
Today, I challenge you to do some writing:
Make a list of at least 10 things, people, experiences, or opportunities that you are incredibly grateful for; re-read the list out loud and at the end of each, graciously feel the gratitude and say Thank you in your mind's eye.
Make a list of 5 things you desire to call in to your life--(again, they are more powerful when they are very specific and in the present tense: I am earning an extra $1,000 each month, or, I run painlessly and freely each day, I have a peaceful relationship with my ex.
Re-read the list out loud again, envision each desire fully with all of your senses-- and at the end of each, graciously feel the gratitude and say Thank you, and so it is in your mind's eye. If you're really into it, you can create a vision board with the 5 things you's like to manifest--collect images, magazine snippets, drawings, whatever you like, and make a visual representation of each of your 5 desires that you can hang somewhere you'll see it every day.
Revisit your lists daily, and do the gratitude piece to close each process.
This is just on step to living your life as your BeSt sElF--remember that every juicy moment and hOLy interaction is created jUsT for you to reaCh youR hIghEsT poTentIaL? Leave a comment on the blog--we appreciate you sharing your experience!
Notably, I wrote about the Wicked Witch melting yesterday (insert metaphor for LIFE, in all its juicy-ness). And I described the meltdowns that were occurring around me . . .
But there's more to the story.
For those of you who have seen the Broadway musical Wicked, we know that the "wicked" witch has a backstory.
Don't we all?
And, . . . it's so super satisfying and comforting to know that someone ELSE is THE badass (d)EVIL witch.
Not us. No---never.
Just like we don't want to look at our own pain--we don't want to look at the dark side(s) of our own nature. Better to call someone else THE WICKED WITCH.
I would offer that as we want to KILL THAT (other than us) WICKED WITCH, we also want to meet and slay our own shadows. But it's easier to go after someone else, am I right? (insert virtual knuckles or high five . . . in a sad and serious way . . .)
This is how we learn. It's all MiRRoRs:sRoRRiM.
This song is scary and violent--but we as an audience are so interested in "othering" THE WICKED WITCH that we buy into it . . . and we want to crucify and kill her.
So do I, sort of. But what I'm realizing, is that it's not about her. It's about me.
I don't want to kill and crucify her; I want to have empathy--because there's more his(story) to her(story).
Easy? NOT.
Check out these lyrics. Violence begets violence; and revenge is an excuse for violence. Note WAR metaphor: EYE FOR AN EYE, RIGHT?
OZIANS Go and hunt her And find her And kill her
VICIOUS WOMAN (spoken) Good fortune, Witch Hunters!
OZIANS Go and hunt her And find her And kill her
RABID MAN (spoken) Kill the Witch!
OZIANS Wickedness must be punished Evil effectively eliminated Wickedness must be punished Kill the Witch!
TINMAN (spoken) And this is more than just a service to the Wizard. I have a personal score to settle with Elphaba...with The Witch!
(sung) It's due to her I'm made of tin Her spell made this occur So for once I'm glad I'm heartless I'll be heartless killing her!
CROWD (Cheer)
And the lion also Has a grievance to repay If she'd let him fight his own battles When he was young He wouldn't be a coward today!
CROWD Kill her! Kill the witch!
ALL Wickedness must be punished Brave Witch-Hunters, I would join you if I could Because Wickedness must be punished Punished Punished For good!
~Wicked, 2003
I know this is long, and you don't have to read the entirety, but here's her powerful monologue which describes her backstory:
I am Elphaba. What? What are you looking at? Okay…I know. I know I’m green. No I am not seasick! Yes I’ve been green ever since I was born and I didn’t eat grass when I was little. Everyone is always looking…staring… Why are you people so judgmental?
This is who I am. People say I’m a rebel, I speak my mind even if I know it will make me some enemies. I believe in equality. What if you’re green? What if you’re a goat like Dr. Dillamond? Or rich and popular like Glinda the good? To the world, all those things matter, but to me we are all equal and made perfect because of our imperfection. I desire discrimination to be history! To be a thing of the past! I want to change how people see things and I want to change the ideals of the world!
All I’ve ever wanted in life was to be accepted for who and what I am. Every day there is one question that stirs people’s minds. A question pointed at me that they cannot erase from their hearts—Are people born wicked? Or do they have wickedness thrust upon them? That is what bothers them and let me answer that. No, I never wanted to be wicked or even be called that and in my heart I know I’m not! I’m just a regular, normal girl wanting to be accepted by society and loved for being me, for being green.
But the world has a mind of it’s own and when you’re flesh is not actually flesh but green like mine, The sad and inevitable fact is, you’d have to wake up every single day knowing that people will look down on you and discriminate you. You don’t know what is in my heart! All you see is this green exterior and I hate people for having narrow minds and closed hearts. Can’t you see I’m human too? I have feelings like you, I cry when I’m sad, I laugh when I think things are funny. I’m normal! Can’t you see that? but obviously no one notices.
No matter how hard I try to act normal, I know I’m special and people take that differently. You don’t understand me and it breaks my heart every time I try to do good because all you see is bad not because you see my heart but because you see I’m green. I can read spells and do magic. That is my curse and my gift. Once I have been tricked… deceived and asked to do a spell that completely took me by surprise and way beyond my conviction. All I wanted was to help and not hurt the animals but that day changed my life and here I am now, seen by all as a Wicked person, nothing more.
Glinda and Fiyero…the two people in this world closest to my hearts aside from my sister Nessa Rose of course. But Glinda… though we started off on the wrong foot she became my best friend. Can you imagine being so different from a person and yet be accepted for what you are? I didn’t have to hide anything from Glinda…It seems so fresh and alive in my mind, like it was only yesterday when we were students in Shiz and there are times when I feel sad not knowing where she is now, how she is now. Even though we had to part ways because of our differences, She was my only best friend and she helped me change for good. And Fiyero…Oh Fiyero…He gave me hope in love. Never in my life of being green and discriminated against did I imagine I could be loved as much as he loved me.
Wherever they are, I hope they’re happy and well. If not for them I wouldn’t be where I am today. Don’t get your hopes up! I am still who I am. Nothing changed, the stares are still piercing every time I show myself in public, But you know how people are, they will always be judgmental and discriminating.
Today I know the world hates me. Tomorrow I know they will fear me. I am as green as ever shining like a bright emerald. I have full of love in my heart but I cannot change the views of the world and because my friend Glinda the good gives hope to the people of Oz, I have to do my part and give gloom and murk into their lives even though it is not in my heart to do so. Despite our differences and the way the world sees us, Glinda is my best friend and I love her. Because of her friendship, acceptance and love for me, I can say I have been truly freed from all the bad stares and the corrupt judgement of the world. I am Elphaba, The Wicked witch of the west and today I am soaring high, I am defying gravity, liberating and letting go because I am free.
Are you free? Can you detach from what the world imposes on you? Or, what you impose on yourself? ow can we learn to LoVe it aLL?
