Hmnnnn . . . that's a number . . .

06.12.17.

The Number

I had a synchronous event a month ago when I was picking up my dog Teddy from getting a furcut. A woman beside me was also picking up her dog, and she had her hoodie on inside out. Because I am true to my women-folk, I told her about it because it was something I myself would do, and because I would want someone--even a stranger--to tell me.

She laughed, and shared that she had just moved her family here and was in the middle of unpacking, and that she had picked it up off the floor and just put it on before rushing out the door to pick up her rather large pup.

I admitted that I, myself, had slept in my outfit, and we began to chat more as we walked outside.

No coincidence that we are both bloggers, and each of us in our own way blog about spirituality, and the human condition.

And she lives about 2 miles from me. Her name is Sheila Qualls and she has an amazing story. Read about it at SheilaQualls.com.

Hello new friend! Welcome to my tribe!

Anyway, as I read her blog this morning about weight, it resonated with a conversation I had almost 30 minutes earlier with one of my besties, Alana. Here's the backstory:

I had back surgery last fall and was down for about three months after experiencing severe sciatica to the point where I had been crawling around the house last summer for almost 4 months--I literally could barely walk. It was a huge blessing, but also entailed a huge recovery, and I missed my job as a teacher so so much.

Long story short, I have put on almost 20 pounds since my surgery.

There. I said it.

And my body feels weird and foreign (but thank you, God, pain free). That's the gratitude. Anyway, I finally weighed myself this morning, and even though I have lost about 5 pounds, when I was talking to my friend Alana, I shared the number with her almost like I was going to confession--with shame, and an expectation that I would be in the doghouse (don't know from whom . . .).

Shame is interesting.

But when I shared the honest number with her, she said, "Hmnnn . . . that's a number . . .". And that was it.

WHAT THE HE(LL)CK?

And she then was the most supportive and beautiful friend I have ever experienced. Love you, girl!

About a half an hour later, Sheila's blog showed up in my mailbox. Read here: Sheila Qualls. It's a blog about women, weight, the media, and shame.

Coincidence? I think not.

Can't wait to walk our dogs together tomorrow and deconstruct. What a gift! I am so grateful.

Message from the Uni-Verse!

Dear Ones--

Have you ever noticed that the right message from the Universe seems to arrive exactly when you need it? You can probably see the card I got this morning from one of my besties, Alana.

I feel really stressed and pressured by all of the expectations I put upon myself. This morning I opened a manila envelope with this message: 

YOU ARE

EXACTLY

WHERE YOU

SHOULD BE

YOU ARE DOING

EXACTLY

WHAT YOU SHOULD

BE DOING

I was relieved to get this reminder. The (not so) hidden message for me is this:

• Your best is good enough.
• You don't have to be perfect.
• You have enough time.
• All is well.
• Breathe.

I often get caught up in running around like a crazy person . . . but in the next couple of days, I am going to try to jUsT bE instead of dO. Try to enjoy the relationships I have, and be grateful for the time well-spent with those I love. The gifts don't mean so much, after all. What I want to give most is my presence--I think that's the best present of all.

sPeAk uR tRuTh . . .

Right now I'm rereading MIND OVER MEDICINE by Lissa Rankin, M.D. While I'm not quite done yet, I haven't been able to put it down since I came to the desert. The main message I'm getting from the book so far is that I have the power to heal myself, which I've always known, but we humans tend to forget what we know from time to time, so we need to be nudged or shaken (or encouraged) back into consciousness. (Note: this does not mean traditional medicine is out the door by any means).

Let's just say I've had some big information coming in from the Universe lately that has reminded me to WAKE UP! The way we can heal ourselves is very (NOT) simple: It's by listening to our bodies, choosing our thoughts wisely, speaking our truth, and feeling our feelings. For those of you who follow my blog, you've probably read before that I have been struggling off and on in my life with my thoughts, or my self-talk.

This process of interacting and mastering my monkey-mind has been a lifelong journey, but this I know (from so many sources): Meditation is a great practice for calming your mind.

And that's just what I'm going to do now. Here's an amazing mindfulness meditation to try today:

Check it out and leave a comment to share your experience!

Huggies,

Dana

mIs-TaKeS!

Hey Ho ffPeePS!---

Whew! So glad yesterday is over!. . . I really put myself through a lot and I was miserable for a good part of the day!

Brief recap of my made-up drama: I screwed up by making an honest mistake (and nobody died, or was hurt... it really wasn't a big deal--lol...), and then my super evil mean inner (s)ELF started screaming at me in my head all day long (you know, the haTeR voice that says we are so stupid, wrong . . . and should be perfeckt?--not humanly possible) and she (my mean inner (s)elf happens to be a girl) SERIOUSLY WOULD NOT SHUT UP!

Anyway, GUESS wHaT? 

I pretty much filtered everything all day long through the lens of "I'm a screw up" and I seriously misinterpreted a lot of go(o)d stuff that was going on around me. I took things personally that were not personal, and I seemed to feel all the energy drain out my feet until I was completely exhausted by the afternoon...

That mean inner (s)elf is a total (bull)y, and I don't quite know what to do about her. Funny thing the awful crap we tell ourselves . . . cuz I know she's really (me)an & (me).

How do we make friends with the icky mean parts of ours(elves)? Maybe I'll. . .

• yell back or write her an eviction notice and tell her she is fired (but that's being mean, too . . . and that's not me)
• invite her to dinner and ask her why she is so mean
• buy her a mango smoothie and hear her story find out who treated her so yucky
• hug her and make friends with her

LIGHT BULB IDEA: I wonder if she is the same part of me that criticizes and complains about other people? Yikes...I think this is huge. I could get to know her a lot better... maybe I'll start by giving her name?

Good thing we are all works in progress!  What makes Life BEautiful is there's so much to learn, yo! And we are unwritten. . . 

SosOMuchoQuiero!

;) dana

I LiKe (funfree)Me!

Hey All!

A few days ago, I wrote about being perfect, and Guess What!?

I have tried to be perfect all my life and, of course, have never gotten there (cuz it doesn't exist... DUH!!!@#@#@#@#@#@#$@) . . . AND I have been constantly been frustrated and mad at myself . . . be cuz' of:
here it comes . . .
                        here it comes . . .
                                                wait for it . . .
                                                                   wait for it. . .
my inner mean voice (which I am going to start calling my inner mean (s)ELF, by the way--after all, elves are a little bit naughty, aren't they?). Your inner mean (s)ELF is that voice inside of you who is constantly bugging you about not being (fill in the blank) enough. Some grown-ups and therapists and counselor types alsocall it (s)ELF-talk.

Here's a picture of one of these naughty little elves, drawn by my daughter, Chloe (she told me mine is a boy, and I believe her . . .  ):

So, part of my growing up has been accepting myself, being nice to myself, and learning how to like me, myself, and I . . . which is not easy! ;)
Often, it's easier to be mean to yourself then to actually be kind to yourself, especially when that inner mean (s)ELF voice gets really, 
                     really,
                           really,
                                 LOUD  and SaSsY !#?!
TOP SECRET INFORMATION (don't tell anyone...): I have a friend who actually hugs herself first thing every morning! And even if that sounds SO RaNdoM to you . . . it just means that she is learning how to like herself (BTW--she is a grownup, if you can believe it!).

I'm not saying you should actually hug yourself in the morning (although I highly recommend it...); I'm just asking you to think about whether you act like U LIKE YOU!? 
In the meantime, here is a FaBuLous video for you---HUGS to YoU . . . and BoNuS . . . they are FREE!

FrEe HuGs!

I hope you have a beautiful day!

hugs and hugs and hugs!

Dana