BEinG VuLneRable is PeRfeCkt . . .

ShhHhh . . . prOmiSe nOt tO TeLL?

Dear FunFree(imperfecKt)Peeps,

Chloe was really distraught  one day ("Mom! Something's not perfect!"), and I was gently reminded (again) of the daunting nature of perfection. I looked around the room of my basement and I saw he artwork crumpled up in piles--markers and colored pencils strewn all over the floor. She'd had a fit of frustration because her art wasn't PERFECT.

YIKES.

I have had fits of perfection off and on all my life. Still do. As a matter of fact, something about my perfectionism has recently got my attention in a BIG WAY.

BACKSTORY: Sometimes, I like to manage my emotional life by keeping all the yucky stuff to myself; for example, when I'm struggling, sad, frustrated, overwhelmed, or anxious about anything, in particular--or about LIFE, in general. So, things build up . . . DUH . . . and then my feelings and fears end up spewing in a not-so-planful or pretty fashion. Not pretty. (Sorry, friends . . .)

And, I can't possibly get support from the people who love me if they don't know what's going on. The EGO part of me believes that it's better if people think I'm FINE and I can handle everything--like SUPERWOMAN, right?

Not.

So, I have made a commitment to myself and my loved ones to be more transparent about my TRUTH, knowing that sharing my pain or frustration does not make me needy, it does not mean I wish be rescued, and it doesn't make me a BURDEN or a VICTIM. 

It just IS.

I have felt a huge weight lifted from my heart by shedding a layer of my perfection, asking for a little time, and resting in the presence of loving friends who have listened with patience and compassion.

I am (im)perfeCktly human.

After all, amazing stuff as well as my wobbly spots are all part of what makes me, Me: Dana Lynne Curry . . . and I can't  celebrate the great stuff and hide the ISH . . . cuz' the ISH is what needs transformation and is the awesome Growing SPOT.

I need to shed light on ALL parts of me--and especially those scary wobbly parts of ME need to bask in the yummy light so they can be transform, heal, and re(a)l-ease. Get it?

Purple Nerple Love,

Dana Burger

Be Gr8TEFULL!

“There is a calmness to a life lived in gratitude, a quiet joy.”

― Ralph H. Blum

Hey funfreeme followers!
 

Hope this blog finds you in a hApPy space! I have been doing a lot of reading lately about living with a sense of awesome gratitude. 

Gratitude isn't really something we are taught to cultivate from an early age; as a matter of fact, with the media and pressure at school & work, we often compare ourselves to the made up information we create about what other people have (and it's usually more than what we've got, ain't it?)

I can remember when was a kid believing that a lot of times, ALL THE OTHER kids had all the GooD StufF--like cool clothes (which in my day was red-tag Levi's--we didn't dare wear the orange-tag Levi's!), parents who gave them everything, expensive shoes, awesome vacations, and the list goes on. On other words, I used to compare what I had to what others had, and feel like I never got my StuFF!

I know you are thinking OMG she must be SoOoooooOO oLD! But really now, times haven't changed that much . . . (although the shape and cost of the stuff has changed a lot . . .). 

  SUPER AWESOME IDEA:

instead of wondering 

where your stuff is? 

or 

instead of

expecting someone else to give it to you?

[ painful :( ],

do you ever

. . . pause. . . 

to be 

gRaTeFuL

for what you DO have, 

[ AWESOME! ;)]!

Hmmnnn . . . maybe we can switch our attention away from what is painful to what is awesome! 

I am so thankful for all of you!

With so much love and gratitude,

Dana

Love U Just the Way YOU are . . .

go(o)D dAy, fReE pEEpS!

Last summer (after an amazing crazy slumber party), 5 of my daughters BfFs came into my room and wanted to wake up Chloe so she could go downstairs to plaY! They were all snuggled up in their blankies & jammies like little ducklings at the foot of my bed. 

My daughter, Chloe, had crawled in with me in the middle of the night, after I tested her blood sugar (I don't know if I have shared that she is diabetic--type 1). 

While my daughter was slowly waking up, one of her friends, Dascia, asked me, "Do wish Chloe didn't have diabetes? I mean, is it kind of hard to, like, take care of her?"

I thought for a split second, and I shared this with them:

"You know, it's might sound kinda strange, but I love Chloe exactly the way she is, and she knows that! I wouldn't want her to be any different than her amazing and beautiful self--and that includes her diabetes."

The girls looked a bit surprised, but they were listening really hard. 

I continued,

"And yeah, sometimes it's challenging, like if she doesn't feel well, or her blood sugar's high or low, but Chloe's really learned a lot about how to take care of herself, about her body, about nutrition, and about math . . . and a lot of other stuff, too. I think one of the most important things I can do as a mom is to love both of my kids just the way they are . . . everyday."

One night a few weeks later before bed, we were naming things we are thankful for, & Chloe said this in her prayer: 

"God, this might be weird, but I'm grateful for diabetes . . . I mean, 'cuz that's who I'm supposed to be."

Can you imagine? She's nine! It made me cry! 

Here's something else amazing she wrote when she was helping me with my blog ;)

God loves you awesomley and perfectley!! @##^%#$%^#$%# did I spell it wrong???? 
 yeah, i did. o well! 
I'm still a great gal even tho' i have d'b's (diabetes). 
DID U KNOW JOE JONAS HAS D'B'S? 
So yeah! bye bye!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 
I'm still  perfect just the way i am even though I have diabetes.  
So yeah.
Rock on if you have dbs! . . . or not!

What if we are all perfect just the way we are (no matter what our challenges are) and just right where we are in life--and grateful for ALL of it! 

hAve a beAutIfUL dAy, aLL!
;0) dana

Pay it For(give)Ward!

"Forgiveness is the most powerful thing that you can do
for your physiology and your spirituality,
and it remains one of the least attractive things to us,
largely because our egos rule so unequivocally.
To forgive is somehow associated with saying that it is all right,
that we accept the evil deed.
But this is not forgiveness.
Forgiveness means that you fill yourself with love and you radiate that love outward
and refuse to hang onto the venom or hatred that was engendered
by the behaviors that caused the wounds.
Forgiveness is a spiritual act of love for yourself
and it sends a message to everyone, including yourself,
that you are an object of love and that that is what you are going to impart." 

- Dr. Wayne W. Dyer 

Dear Fun & Free Ones,

Today I had sort of an aha! moment when I realized that after I learned to forgive others, I could then extend the same courtesy to myself . . . and forgive myself. As I thought about it, it felt kind of inside out, actually--but that's generally been my path: living from the outside:in for a good part of my existence. 

Knowing that pattern of mine, I can actually be grateful for the pains I've experienced, because they taught me how to forgive others and release my resentent,which in turn taught my forgiveness and acceptance of ME--for all my imperfections, for not knowing the right thing to do or say, for not being good enough, for hurting people I love. I was always doing the best I could with the skills I had at the moment; I just didn't realize it at the time.

So today I'll write a bit @ forgiveness. 

TOP SECRET: It's not about the person you're forgiving; it's about you and your own freedom. And, just so you know, that doesn't make right the crappy stuff that people have done. Pain is part of life, and so is forgiveness, release, and acceptance. And, thankfully, so is JOY! What I am saying, is it's our choice what we do with our pain.

Holding onto resentment is like 
holding your breath 

-- only you suffocate. 

@ DeepakChopra

And often it takes time before we are ready and willing to let go of resentment and actually forgive others. And, (I've learned this the hard way)--just because we're sorry, doesn't mean someone else wants to necessarily forgive us --in which case, the work is for us to forgive ourselves.

I know people who have been in pain, drama, and in victim mode  FOREVER! I used to be there, too! And finally, I got sick of it . . . sick of feeling terrible, tired of my same old victim story, and I eventually had to choose to shift or die a slow spiritual death. At one point in my life, I began to run--a lot (which begs the question: What was I running from?). I ran . . . and ran . . . and ran. I was burdened, stressed out, burned out, sad, and exhausted & one morning, as  I turned onto my running course, I found a 15 pound rock (actually, it found me). Something nudged me to pick it up . . . and guess what? I ran 3 miles carrying that 15 lb. rock! When I was  done, I put down the rock, and I felt so very light!

That's what forgiveness does.

It frees us.

It makes us lighter.

It means we quit judging others

and making them "wrong" so our egos can be "right", "superior",

and 

ALL

THAT!

(and it takes the pressure off . . .)

It's easier to stay stuck in being mad, right, resentful, offended, or disgusted by someone else's behavior--which conveniently takes the focus off of ourselves, right? And - - it's only suffocating to the person who chooses to hold his or her breath, in Chopra's words. 

Can you forgive yourself or someone else today? 

Let me know in the comments!

Much LoVe!

OXOXOX Dana

It'S MoMMy & ChLoE TiMe !

Mommy & Chloe Time . . .

05.16.13.

Dear Peeps!

I had such a special opportunity today to spend some one-on-one time with my daughter, Chloe. Her brother, Max, is in Chicago on a field trip for the next few days, so we decided to have an adventure together today after school (I have to admit that I took a nap first). 

We went to the Salon and got pedicures together. Chloe and I sat side-by-side in massage chairs and we read fashion magazines and exchanged stories from the day--mine at my school where I teach 8th grade, and Chloe's in her 3rd grade class. Chloe went to do a service project with her teacher today at Feed My Starving Children and I continued to teach my 8th graders a compare and contrast essay, and I introduced the language of poetry to them in a short presentation. Max was off on the coach to Chicago at 7 o'clock this morning on a band field trip adventure--his first overnight trip out-of-state, away from both Mom and Dad (rumor has it that Max and Chloe were both looking forward to a break from each other!). 

After we got our toes done, Chloe and I went down the street to Hello Pizza--the newest and greatest venue in the hood. It was yummy! Chloe had amazing cheese pizza and I had a tri-color salad--we both topped off our meal with a soft-serve cone with homemade dark-chocolate sauce. The best part was we got to sit next to a family with two twin boys who were Chloe's age; we chatted about school, Minecraft, summertime activities, and zombies (true!?).

Anyway, it was great spending special time with Chloe--and I will make a point of doing it more often with each of my beautiful kids; it gives them the message that I care enough to make time to be present with them alone, and that's an important message from me as their mom.

How do you help your kids feel special? We all need ideas for that! Share your experiences and ideas on the blog . . .

Blessings,

Dana