You may remember that last summer I went inward to search for some new Personal Codes of Truth, inspired by my daughter Chloe's mantra-candalabra combination (see Thursday's blog for more specifics!). Here they are in sidewalk chalk on the tar of my driveway, and at my besties cabin on the blacktop. Since it's the beginning of the year, I wanted to review my PCs of T to remind myself about my growth since last summer, and to check on my progress to whether I'm off track on any of them.I think I've been doing a good job with most of these: I definitely faced two of my biggest fears since last summer--a bit painful, but totally worth it, and I am trying to live as a loving human being. True that sometimes I get scared still (and I lose sleep, my heart pounds, and my mind still races once-in-a while . . . but nothing like it used to be; maybe 'cuz I am picking up my tools of breathing, doing yoga, and meditating on a more regular basis . . . whew! it's all good).
As far as gratitude goes, I think I can still improve on this one. Feeling grateful when I have doubts or when things aren't totally going the way I want them to isn't easy to let go of--I have to keep remembering that life is not on my timeline, there is a plan for me, and that every experience is created just for me, for my growth, and for my evolution as a human/spiritual being!
I am also learning to trust myself more and more as I allow myself to get quiet and stop DOING so much.
While I used to look more on the outside for stuff, relationships, experiences, and activities to fill me up and provide me with "happiness," I've realized that my happiness is an inside job--AND, I can retain my peace of mind, my bliss, and my contentment, regardless of what is going on around me. This also means that the amazing people in my life are off the hook to be most authentically themselves, and I can meet the people in my life with more transparency and with fewer expectations.
While I definitely don't want to leave the legacy of perfectionism to my kids, there are some upsides to being organized, orderly, and NOT CHAOTIC!
As for the last two (below), I am getting better and better at asking for what I need (btw--this first means that we need to be in touch with what we need . . . another new behavior for me!) and then actually being open to receiving once I've asked. I've never been very good at receiving, especially when it feels vulnerable, so I've kind of kept what I want and need to myself because I'm not sure how to react once I've received it--especially when it comes to emotional support and intimacy. It's like I freeze up a little, get kind of shy, or even apologetic.
What I'm learning is that there is actually power in my vulnerability, and one of the best ways I can actually keep my power is to be open and vulnerable, and ask for what I need. Now, that doesn't necessarily mean I always get what I ask for--but the power is in the asking, and the openness and willingness to receive.
What Personal Codes of Truth do you live by? How do they operate in your life? I know for me, it's really helped to write them down and do some reflection about them for the New Year.
As always, leave a comment on the blog and let us know how you are doing . . . with your own Personal Codes of Truth!