Thursday, November 5, 2015

Become a Student and Expert of You!


"To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to
make you something else
is the greatest accomplishment."
~Ralph Waldo Emerson

Dear FunFreeStudents&Teachers;

Did you ever think of yourself as a student and a teacher? You may not realize it, but by learning about your actions, thoughts, feelings, and words--you are constantly in flux between being a student and a teacher. When you are learning about yourself, you are actually teaching you about you. 

In my life, how I treat ME is the highest form of learning about and teaching ME that I matter, I am worthy, and I simply AM. I am coming to realize how important it is that we each become students and an experts of ourSelves. By that, I mean shedding light upon and making peace with both our egos and our spiritual cores, our minds and our hearts--all that makes us human beings  and spiritual beings.

If we think about the planet (and the galaxy) as a huge school, we can begin to view and honor our relationships and experiences as lessons toward our highest Go(o)D.

Earlier in my life, I had very small capacity for reflecting on myself and my own behaviors; now, I truly believe that my most important function and highest calling in the Universe is to get to know Me, to love and accept myself, and to love and serve others. 

But this kind of self-reflection doesn't come so easy for some (including me . . .). And, it's not often that we are taught how to do it. We are afraid of what we might find in our deepest, dark spots--so we turn away and adopt behaviors that enable us to deny these parts of ourselves . . . We are scared we are deficient, broken, and not enough. But once we open ourselves up to dying to these parts of ourselves, we can be reborn. And it doesn't matter anymore what others say, think, or believe.

"Call me whatever you like; I am who I must be." 
~ Friedrich Nietzsche

I don't know about you, but I have been called some nasty S&!T(uff) in my life--very publicly, and closely in my circle. I suppose some of it's a bit true, but mostly not. What I've learned is not to defend myself, because that gives energy to the information, and it depletes me, and what I now know is that whatever someone else says about me is not really about me, but is a projection of someone's stuff onto me (just like my own judgement of others). I've been called many names-and it's really okay. These situations have made me better. They help me to define and know the truth about ME--which doesn't depend on anyone else. And, I don't always make sense or remain constant in my behavior--but that's okay, too. I'm human.
"Do I contradict myself?
Very well, then,
I contradict myself.
I am large, I contain multitudes."
~Walt Whitman

I don't know about you, but I TRUST THE WALT!
Not really, . . . I trust ME, the one and only Dana Lynne Curry (Bradach)! (note rhyme: ME & CURRY)
Love YOU!
Dana

Wednesday, November 4, 2015

tHe (en) JOY of GIVING!



Give yourself entirely to those around you. 
Be generous with your blessings. 
A kind gesture can reach a wound that only
compassion can heal.
 ~Steve Maraboli
DeaAr FuN & FrEe PeePsiEs!

This post is inspired by the Purpose Fairy--another blog I receive every week! Today, she wrote the following:
There are so many things we can all offer to those around us and believe it or not many of these things are free. If you have material things you would like to give away to those who have less than you do, give it, and if you feel like you don’t have any material possession to offer, give them your time, your knowledge, your love and support and many of the things you have that cost you nothing but they value a lot.
JOY OF GIVING
A woman who was traveling alone in the mountains found a precious stone in a stream.
The next day she met another traveler who was hungry, the woman opened her bag to share her food.
The hungry traveler saw the precious stone and asked the woman to give it to him. She did so without hesitation.
The traveler left, rejoicing in his great fortune. He knew the stone was worth enough to give him security for a lifetime.
But a few days later he came back to return the stone to the woman.
“I’ve been thinking,” he said, “I know how valuable the stone is, but I give it back in the hope that you can give me something even more precious. Give me what you have within you that enabled you to give me the stone.”
The woman smiled, “The joy of giving!”

What do you have to give? I personally want to make a commitment to give to every person I encounter . . . that can be as simple as a smile . . . or even eye contact.

What can you give today? Leave a comment and share your ideas!


Huggies!

Dana

Tuesday, November 3, 2015

bE (the) cEntEr(eD) (in ThE sTorM . . .)



"Within you there is a stillness and a sanctuary 
to which you can retreat at any time and be yourself."
Hermann Hesse


hApPy wEEeeEeEEee!(kend), y'aLL!

About BEing still . . . the thing about not being so dang bUsy, is that you get to hang with yoUrself, which is super awesome but can also be scary if you are one of those people who loves to BE bUsY (like Me!). 

One cool thing is, that if you can get used to checking in with yourself, you can be still no matter where you are--even if you are at the Mall of America, in New York City, or in the middle of crAzY bFf dRAma!

You know, every tornado has a center, and in the center of the tornado there is stillness. When we find oUrselves in the midst of a tornado, we can choose to go to the sweet spot of the storm and remain calm and cOOLor, we can enter the dRaMa fULLy and get sucked into the sTorM!

sTor(m)y oPPorTunity: This is especially true in miDdLe school . . . can you relate? I am an 8th grade teacher, and last year I ate lunch with some of my fLaVor-ite kids alMost evEry day (what up LuNcH cLuB %^#$%^#R%$%). One of my super fav girls was talking one day about her friends, and she said that in 7th grade, she got stuck in soSOSOoso SOSOSOso much drama because she tried to be friends with eVeryOne . . . and it got her in trouble 'cuz when she was friends with eVeryone she was friends with no One, really--AnD she got drAgGed into everything.

So, (as she told us), she decided to figure out who she wanted to hang with, and keep only those peeps close--and GueSs WhAt?

Her DraMa got much much much smaller  .  .  . 

Anyway, the point is (wait for it ... wait for it ...)

We choose our own busY-ness, and our own dRaMa

Personally, I'd rather be calm and centered than be out in the middle of other people's storms!

SwEeT dAy to aLL!
hearts!
 :0 ) dana

Monday, November 2, 2015

asK fOr wHat yOu nEEd, yO!

Dear Fun & Free Peeps!
Yesterday I shared that one of my Personal Codes of Truth is: I ask for what I need. Well, over the holiday break I learned a very important lesson about myself regarding this code. Where did I learn it? Of course, from my own children. Kids are so darn smart--way smarter about stuff than the grown-up grown ups. BACKSTORY: Let's just say that I am a bit "nutty" about keeping my house in order (cloaked term for perfectionistic). Any evening after work or any Saturday morning, you can probably witness me walking around the house for a couple of hours straightening things, wiping floors and counters, organizing cupboards and closets, cleaning out the refrigerator, and generally tidying up--- I'm in constant motion like the ENERGIZER BUNNY. It's actually pretty ridiculous to watch, I'm sure.
 And here's something even more ridiculous: As I'm doing all of this fussing, I am heaving great dramatic sighs like I absolutely loathe what I'm doing (even though I'm choosing to do it). Funny thing is, I actually remember my mom doing the same thing (sorry, Mom, it's true!$%^#?!); and sadly, I believe my own kids have repeatedly witnessed "the dreaded dramatic sigh" for years now.
So what does the sigh mean? Well, if I'm really honest about it, it means: 


 

  1. Can't anyone see how hard I'm working?
  2. Doesn't anyone appreciate me? 
  3. How come nobody is helping me?
  4. Why do I have to do it all?
  5. Can't anybody read my mind?
Another wIeRd point of information: I may make this "dreaded dramatic sigh" sound, even when I am alone! It's like I think I'm gonna get extra credit for all my suffering or something . . . how ridiculous, and dramatic!#&?!

Anyway, on with my story: Often when I am exhibiting this strange behavior, my kids ask me, "What's wrong, Mom?" or, "Mom, are you mad?" --to which I answer, "Nothing" or, "No, nothing's wrong" (because my kids should be able to read my mind, right?). How confusing!

When I sat with my kids having an allowance meeting, I shared with my kids that I am going to need more help from them around the house, and that the messes are stressful, and that I am getting tired of doing it alone; after all, we all share our home, and we could all share in caring for it, right?

GuEsS wHaT? 

My kids replied with an eager & resounding, "Sure! What can we do to help?" Then my son, Max, told me in a very straightforward manner, "Mom, you know, you run around the house cleaning and huffing, but you never tell us what we can do to help or what you need us to do!" And, of course, little sister Chloe chimed in agreeing, "Yeah, Mom, how are we supposed to know if you don't tell us? You can't just get mad without telling us!"

Hmnn . . . I guess people can't read my mind, and I need to ask for what I need, huh? AND DUH!  So, Max, Chloe, and I took some time to talk about a list of things we could ALL do together to run our household. And I've never been so tickled than now--to have so much help! 
           
Together, my kids and I are now:
  • folding laundry
  • emptying the dishwasher
  • putting away clothes
  • wiping counters & floors
  • clearing and rinsing their dishes
  • stacking the dishwasher
  • vacuuming & dusting
  • hanging up their coats, hats, & mittens
  • helping pack their lunches and preparing dinners  
  • AND MORE!
 All I had to do was ask!
Is there anything that you need to ask for that you ASSume others should already know? Leave us a comment and share your experience with us!
Lots of Love,
;0) Dana    

Sunday, November 1, 2015

tHeRe is No "I" in TeAm!

Are yoU a-Lone(r) or R U on a TeAm?

I have had the wonderful opportunity of learning about hockey for the past few years . I don't speak hockey, but I'm learning . . . 

It made me think more about the idea of being on a team . . . whatever that means. It could be a family team, a sports team, a work team, a parenting team, or a team of _______ (fill in the blank 4 u!). 

Sometimes, we think it's easier to do stuff by ourselves . . . as in, we have a lot more CONTROL, right? I know for me, when I do stuff by myself, I do feel more in control, but I ALSO feel more alone and it's more difficult and stressful, as well.

It's not easy asking for help, but you know what I've found? People TOTALLY want to help me when I need it---just like I love helping others!

And then, I don't feel so alone.

I think we're all supposed to keep looking and searching (or praying and being patient . . .) until we find our team . . . our TRIBE . . .our PeePs.

I can't imagine watching hockey or soccer and expecting that a single player is supposed to win the game. As my bff says, you can have individual skills, but it's the strategy of being a team player that wins the game. 

It's about WORKING TOGETHER---AND, maybe it's really not about winning after all. It's about doing your best, and working with the players (get the metaphor?) who are in front of you.

AND, that means you have to GIVE UP CONTROL (of the puck, the ball, the relationship or whatever . . .) and pass it to someone else--trust that your teammate will support you. You may not win but WHATEVER, yo!

So, who are the sweet, sweet members of your team? 

Be grateful for them, and the lessons they teach! A personal thanks to all the members of my team; we are a winning combination! I am blessed for your presence in my life!

YOU ARE NOT ALONE! WE ARE ONE!

Hearty-heartS!
Dana