asK fOr wHat yOu nEEd, yO!

Dear Fun & Free Peeps!

Yesterday I shared that one of my Personal Codes of Truth is: I ask for what I need. Well, over the holiday break I learned a very important lesson about myself regarding this code. Where did I learn it? Of course, from my own children. Kids are so darn smart--way smarter about stuff than the grown-up grown ups. BACKSTORY: Let's just say that I am a bit "nutty" about keeping my house in order (cloaked term for perfectionistic). Any evening after work or any Saturday morning, you can probably witness me walking around the house for a couple of hours straightening things, wiping floors and counters, organizing cupboards and closets, cleaning out the refrigerator, and generally tidying up--- I'm in constant motion like the ENERGIZER BUNNY. It's actually pretty ridiculous to watch, I'm sure.

 And here's something even more ridiculous: As I'm doing all of this fussing, I am heaving great dramatic sighs like I absolutely loathe what I'm doing (even though I'm choosing to do it). Funny thing is, I actually remember my mom doing the same thing (sorry, Mom, it's true!$%^#?!); and sadly, I believe my own kids have repeatedly witnessed "the dreaded dramatic sigh" for years now.

So what does the sigh mean? Well, if I'm really honest about it, it means: 

 

1. Can't anyone see how hard I'm working?
2. Doesn't anyone appreciate me? 
3. How come nobody is helping me?
4. Why do I have to do it all?
5. Can't anybody read my mind?

Another wIeRd point of information: I may make this "dreaded dramatic sigh" sound, even when I am alone! It's like I think I'm gonna get extra credit for all my suffering or something . . . how ridiculous, and dramatic!#&?!

Anyway, on with my story: Often when I am exhibiting this strange behavior, my kids ask me, "What's wrong, Mom?" or, "Mom, are you mad?" --to which I answer, "Nothing" or, "No, nothing's wrong" (because my kids should be able to read my mind, right?). How confusing!

When I sat with my kids having an allowance meeting, I shared with my kids that I am going to need more help from them around the house, and that the messes are stressful, and that I am getting tired of doing it alone; after all, we all share our home, and we could all share in caring for it, right?

GuEsS wHaT? 

My kids replied with an eager & resounding, "Sure! What can we do to help?" Then my son, Max, told me in a very straightforward manner, "Mom, you know, you run around the house cleaning and huffing, but you never tell us what we can do to help or what you need us to do!" And, of course, little sister Chloe chimed in agreeing, "Yeah, Mom, how are we supposed to know if you don't tell us? You can't just get mad without telling us!"

Hmnn . . . I guess people can't read my mind, and I need to ask for what I need, huh? AND DUH!  So, Max, Chloe, and I took some time to talk about a list of things we could ALL do together to run our household. And I've never been so tickled than now--to have so much help! 

           

Together, my kids and I are now:

• folding laundry
• emptying the dishwasher
• putting away clothes
• wiping counters & floors
• clearing and rinsing their dishes
• stacking the dishwasher
• vacuuming & dusting
• hanging up their coats, hats, & mittens
• helping pack their lunches and preparing dinners  
• AND MORE!

 All I had to do was ask!
Is there anything that you need to ask for that you ASSume others should already know? Leave us a comment and share your experience with us!
Lots of Love,
;0) Dana