wE R WeIrD . . . in a Go(o)d way!

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beware...the content of this blog may apply to grown ups ;)

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One thing I have said to my own kids and my students, too, is that:

everything happens for a reason.

We may not always know the lessons in the stuff that happens to us, and that's because we sometimes get so caught up and attached to what WE WANT TO HAPPEN!

In other words, WE WANT CONTROL, RIGHT????

FLASHBACK to my chubby, freckly, middle-school self: 

I can remember trying to get other kids to like me or be nice to me. That sounds so weird to me as I write it down as a grown up (although I must admit I still catch myself doing it!!!! YIKES! Please don't tell anyone!). But, as the amazing visual from notsalmon.com hints: We can celebrate our weirdness!

STORY: In 6th grade, I remember "liking" a boy named Kenny (last name to remain anonymous... shout out to Kenny if you're reading my blog!), and I wanted him to "go" with me" (whatever that means in middle school...). I gave him, like, over 20 packs of gum, wrote notes to him, took ridiculous detours through my school so I would see him between classes, and lots of other crazy stuff.

...what we do for love... ;)

GUESS WHAT?...Kenny never "liked" me back :(  sad face  and, of course, in my mind I made up that it was because I was chubby and freckly (he never told me that, though--he barely talked to me at all)!

DANG!@@#^%&% ...that was a lot of gum...

ANOTHER STORY: I know you can all relate---like, for example, thinking:

If I keep kissing butt to the kids who (I think) don't like me . . .

• maybe they'll stop treating me like crap
• maybe they'll quit taking my stuff or copying off my homework
• or even stop hating me on Facebook
• or at the very least maybe they will LEAVE ME THE HE(L)K ALONE! (I can remember actually praying about this one as a kid...)

When I was really in a fantasy land, the stuff I made up in my head was even more wishful--like, for example, thinking:

• maybe they'll invite me to their lunch table (that's a huge one!!!!)
• maybe I'll get to go to one of their sleepovers
• maybe we could go to summer camp together!

You get the picture, right?

Trying to manage what other people think or feel about us is living from the OUT:SIDE IN. Living from the OUT:SIDE IN is, quite frankly, a butt load of work. But here's the good news:

You can relax... (and actually, take a deep breath now! I am controlling you! LOL!)

Living from the IN:SIDE OUT, not the OUT:SIDE IN, is much easier! And, (top secret information) even some of the grown ups don't know this...but you can share it with them, if you think they are ready...

What I know now, is that I can't get other people to like me, be nice to me, or anything else! My job is to be myself (who, BTW, is very likable!), like and love myself,  and surround myself with others who like me for me. I don't actually have to DO anything--just be myself. Whew!

I wish I would have known this stuff earlier...(which is one awesome reason I started my blog, really). Actually, knowing now that this stuff is just plain out of my control is such a relief!

And guess what? I get to breathe, enjoy myself, and just be the best person/mom/teacher/friend I can be... and I think I actually do a better job of all those things when I am not freaking out trying to control things from the OUT:SIDE IN all the time!!!!!

Let me know what your thoughts and feelings are!

Love and Light,

Dana

Random Acts of Friendliness . . .

Facing my Fear . . . HeIgHtS!

Ripcord at ValleyFair

hEy tHeRe!

fEeLiNg BraVe!? Do you realize that when you face your fears and take risks your will be supported and caught by the You-Niverse. 

Scary? Not really ('cuz the You-niverse will catch you . . . remember?)

It's GO TIME!

You probably know by now that I don't really believe in coincidence, right? And that everything happens for us (not To us!...) for a reason---but we might not be able to see it at the time 'cuz we have a limited perspective.
That means we can trUst in our gUt and hEarT and act with courage!!!!
Have you ever heard of a random act of kindness? Well, I tripple-dipple-double-dare you to do a random act of courage in the next couple of days! Here are some ideas:

• tell someone how you feel
• do something you are afraid of (I'm going to ValleyFair on Friday and I'm going on eVerY rollercoaster and also the ginormous swing called the RipCord . . .  yikes and yeeeee-ha!)
• try something you have always wanted to try
• stick up for someone who is being bUgGeD by other kids (super act of courage)
• start a conversation with someone you don't know!

Here's a video from

SouLPanCakE

(of the Oprah Winfrey Network) 

where some strangers got together 

and found some really cool stuff in common!

(btw, i have a confession . . . 

i am kind of shy with grOwN uPs! 

Ssshhhhhhhhhh . . . don't tell anyone!)

I don't know about you, but I would be really brave to get into a (random) ball pit with a stranger and start a conversation! Remember everything happens for a reason? Did you notice that the strangers found amazing and beautiful connections with each other?

Hmmnnnnn . . . cOiNcIdeNcE? . . . NOT!

Find someone you don't know and . . .

• Who inspires you?
• What is on your bucket list?
• What are three things you have in common?
• What are your plans for the future?
• What is something that totally changed your life?
• Talk about a fear that you have faced in life.
• MAKE UP A SECRET HANDSHAKE

OpEn yOurselF up to the mAgic, yo! It's everywhere!

Just sayin'!@

loVe sQuAreD!

;) dana

gOt sIgN?

"The peaceful warrior's way is not about invulnerability,

but absolute vulnerability--

to the world, to life,

and to the Presence you felt.

All along I've shown you by example

that a warrior's life is not about imagined perfection or victory;

it is about love.

Love is a warrior's sword;

wherever it cuts, it gives life, not death." 
- Dan Millman

Go(o)d Morning All!

Above you can see me wearing my favorite ring . . . and there's a beautiful story behind it & the symbol it bears. The symbol first found me in my mid-twenties, a difficult time of transition for me: my dad was dying, I was working at my first teaching job, and I had been in a very toxic relationship that was coming to an end. I found this symbol first when I was in Mexico for spring break--it actually was a bangle that hung on a silver chain . . . a necklace. I've never been a necklace person, but for some reason it spoke to me and I bought it. 

Have you ever noticed that sometimes, things find us just at the right time? Like, a book practically jumps off the shelf to you, or you overhear a message from someone's conversation that's just what you need to hear?

Anyway, the necklace bangle used to be square and plain, with no sapphires, no diamonds, and no ruby in the heart space. Here's the story of how I made it my own:

A few  years ago, I knew my relationship was coming to an end and I had to make a painful leap; I was exhausted & depressed, and I had slowly lost me--for which I take full responsibility, by the way--over the course of the relationship. I had to save myself, but I was terrified. Looking back, I know now that I had been terrified for years--and instead of feeling my sadness and fear, I was medicating myself with working too much, jogging endless miles, running from activity to activity, eating too much, not eating enough, you name it. I was sleep-deprived, spent, and hopeless; I felt my spirit slowly shrinking to an invisible dot.

I saw my necklace one morning, and something nudged me to take it to my  neighborhood jeweler and ask him to make it into a ring. We chatted for awhile, and I decided I wanted to round out the edges to soften it a bit . . . I didn't even ask how much it would cost. A couple of weeks later, a counselor friend of mine noticed my new ring; she asked me whether I knew what it meant and I said, "No. Not really." She told me it's a Celtic rune that means spiritual warrior, and a strong  symbol of protection.

She went into a drawer and pulled out a piece of paper (above) with my symbol on it. I got the chills over and over. It had "Algiz" written on the top of the page, and read:

Opportunity for growth.

Rapid development.

Protection.

Safe refuge.

It is a powerful rune of protection and, spiritually,

it symbolizes reaching up to the divine. 

Even in the heat of battle you are protected; wisdom & vision are your allies

I knew that it was a sign from the Universe that I had to dig deep, and go to a place of strength I didn't know was possible for me. And I did go there . . . to be continued tomorrow!

Don't you hate when people do that? 

Lots of Love!

Dana

eGo gO(aWaY)!

"Love is the capacity to take care, to protect, to nourish.

If you are not capable of generating that kind of energy toward yourself-

if you are not capable of taking care of yourself,

of nourishing yourself,

of protecting yourself-

it is very difficult to take care of another person.

In the Buddhist teaching,

it's clear that to love oneself is the foundation of the love of other people.

Love is a practice. Love is truly a practice." 

- Thich Nhat Hanh, Buddhist monk

Dear fuN & fReE Pps!

I took a picture of this amazingly cOoL bumper sticker a while back when I was running at a friend's cabin. It has two of my favorite symbols--peace & love! You may realize by now that much of my life's journey has been searching for peace and searching for love. I feel like I've looked eVeRyWhErE - - in friendships, in love & family relationships, in food & exercise, activities & unhealthy behaviors, and also at places like church, nature, & my place of work. 

Really, it never really occurred to me to look within mySELF for peace & love . . . until I was so exhausted from searching that I was pretty much running on empty, wholly depleted, and at the      

end

     of 

          my

               rope.

You see, I have always been THAT sort of person who takes care of others and tries to manage and orchestrate everything around me. 

WARNING! EGO ATTACK: Here's what I was secretly thinking: "If people depend on me and need me. then I must be okay and worthwhile and valuable & I can pretend that everything's just fine . . . even perfect . . .
What I've come to understand is that this is pretty controlling behavior, and here's why:

• I wrongly assumed that I knew what is best for others, and I could do _______ better & more correctly (NOT TRUE!)
• I did for others what they could have done for themselves, which teaches others to depend on me rather than doing for themselves (especially true for children, 'cuz parts of their self-esteem comes from them knowing that grownups believe in them and their own belief: "I can do it! I am capable!")
• If I did stuff for others with resentment (even though it was my choice), which sent a double message
• I played martyr and victim--unattractive!
• It was none of my business or concern to manage what others think or believe about me
• I was making myself sick from trying to keep everything perfect . . . PLUS
• I was not being Dana, or HUMAN, for that matter--don't people who act all perfect kind of tick you off, anyway? I must have made a lot of people pretty angry . . . and I am really sorry (had to do some major work around forgiving myself for this one and making amends to people ;)
• It also meant that I did not take very good care of myself, 'cuz I was too busy minding other people's busy-ness.

It's been tough and painful (understatement) for me to work on this issue in my life---why is it so much easier to focus on others than take good care of ourselves?  But the good news is--it gets easier. Now, I actually enjoy my own company (most of the time), and I am taking the spotlight off of outside stuff, and shining the light on some of my inside.

Funny thing, peace and love have been with me all along. I've just been too busy and distracted to listen long enough to know and feel it.

I am so grateful to be open to life's lessons. I know that each one is being prepared especially for me and that each experience and every encounter with another person is helping move to the next right thing!

Accepting it all (even myself!),

LoVe & hUgs!

Dana the Often and/or Sometimes Great

p.s. Check out this Kundalini meditation called Ego Eradicator led by the fabulous Gabrielle Bernstein

mIs-TaKeS!

Hey Ho ffPeePS!---

Whew! So glad yesterday is over!. . . I really put myself through a lot and I was miserable for a good part of the day!

Brief recap of my made-up drama: I screwed up by making an honest mistake (and nobody died, or was hurt... it really wasn't a big deal--lol...), and then my super evil mean inner (s)ELF started screaming at me in my head all day long (you know, the haTeR voice that says we are so stupid, wrong . . . and should be perfeckt?--not humanly possible) and she (my mean inner (s)elf happens to be a girl) SERIOUSLY WOULD NOT SHUT UP!

Anyway, GUESS wHaT? 

I pretty much filtered everything all day long through the lens of "I'm a screw up" and I seriously misinterpreted a lot of go(o)d stuff that was going on around me. I took things personally that were not personal, and I seemed to feel all the energy drain out my feet until I was completely exhausted by the afternoon...

That mean inner (s)elf is a total (bull)y, and I don't quite know what to do about her. Funny thing the awful crap we tell ourselves . . . cuz I know she's really (me)an & (me).

How do we make friends with the icky mean parts of ours(elves)? Maybe I'll. . .

• yell back or write her an eviction notice and tell her she is fired (but that's being mean, too . . . and that's not me)
• invite her to dinner and ask her why she is so mean
• buy her a mango smoothie and hear her story find out who treated her so yucky
• hug her and make friends with her

LIGHT BULB IDEA: I wonder if she is the same part of me that criticizes and complains about other people? Yikes...I think this is huge. I could get to know her a lot better... maybe I'll start by giving her name?

Good thing we are all works in progress!  What makes Life BEautiful is there's so much to learn, yo! And we are unwritten. . . 

SosOMuchoQuiero!

;) dana