LovE aLL of tHeM. . .

Dear fun & free folk!

Here is the message I got from the Universe the other day. It reminded me that I need to accept all the people in my life exactly as they are:

For as long as you wish to keep them in your life, 

Dana Lynne, whoever they may be, 

understanding them, as opposed to changing them,

will wildly improve the chances that they'll wish to keep you in their life.

Oh wow, how I love you -
    The Universe

I have spent a lot of time and energy in my life trying to change the people and circumstances around me. What I would like to do is work on accepting the people and challenges around me without fighting it all! 

It is all good; and, as my bestie always says to me, "All is well..."

I love life! All of it . . . the good stuff and the not so good (crappy) stuff!

Hearts!

Dana

aBoUt tHiS huMan sTuFF . . . i'M sOrrY . .

Dear funfreePpPS!

Relationships are such a delicate dance. One minute we are close and enjoying the warm intimacy of a friend, lover, or family member,  and then, to our dismay, one or both parties can hurt each other, saying or doing things that break the trusted bond between them. Trying to bridge back after the hurt and reach a new level of understanding of one another can be one of the biggest challenges in life---but also the most rewarding.

After members in a relationship have hurt one another or there has been a break in communication or crossing of a boundary from one person to another (what I call a disrepair), the relationship can become a place for growth and deepening when the parties are willing to come back together, share their feelings with each other, and renegotiate the rules of their connection. 

In some cases, the two people in a relationship need space--and it may take some time to get to a place where the relationship can benefit from honest and open disclosure of feelings and events that led up to the disrepair. Sometimes, people simply need to take time apart, lick their wounds, and move on to process with someone else other than the person with whom they experienced the disrupt (meaning friend, lover, family member, coworker). This other person could be a trusted friend, counselor, teacher, or family member.

I have been thinking a lot lately about saying I'm sorry, on the one hand, and then also the act of forgiveness, on the other hand.

I believe it takes great courage to apologize authentically. Like, I mean, from a place of true remorse and willingness to see the parts in myself that I need to look at and possibly change. It's not a place of I'm sorry, but you . . . 
It's a genuine place of "I hurt you. I'm so sorry. It was about me, not you. It will not happen again."
So, here is an amazing blog about saying "I'm Sorry, OK?" by Terry Cole. She provides us with a model that is clean and true. Check it out:

I’m Sorry, OK?
by TERRI COLE on AUGUST 4, 2012

“Do you want to be right or do you want to be happy?” ~ Dr. Wayne Dyer

This week I want to talk about the anatomy of an authentic apology. Do you know how to say you’re sorry and mean it? Let’s look at a couple of common ways people think they are apologizing but are actually not:

1. Do you say things like:

“I am sorry, but _____________” (fill in the excuse for your bad behavior here)

e.g. “I’m sorry, but I was tired”

“I am sorry, but YOU _____________” (fill in justification for retaliatory bad behavior here)

e.g. “I’m sorry, but you were annoying me.”

“I’m sorry, OK?” (Add frustrated not at all sorry sounding tone here)

“I’m sorry you think that I did something that I need to be sorry for.”

2. Do you act out your feeling of remorse rather than putting words on it?

A friend of mine told me that in 13 years of marriage her husband has never said, “I’m sorry,” but she knows he is because he acts nicer than usual.

An authentic apology does not include any qualifier after the words “I’m sorry.”

An authentic apology looks something like this:

“I’m really sorry, I was wrong.” (Stop talking)

“I am sorry. I should not have _____________. It will not happen again.” (Stop talking)

The key to an authentic apology includes saying you are sorry and allowing the other person to tell you what they experienced or why they are upset.

I want you to think about how you apologize and what you need to do to actually BE sorry and communicate it in an authentic and effective way

I hope you have an amazing week, and, as always, take care of you.

Love Love Love

Terri Cole, founder and CEO of Live Fearless and Free, is a licensed psychotherapist, transformation coach, and an expert at turning fear into freedom. For almost two decades, Terri has empowered companies, celebrities, professional athletes and individuals to Live Fearless and Free. Recently, Terri released her first CD “Meditation Transformation”.

What have been your challenge in apologizing? Let me know in the comments!

More 2-morrow!

Love U loTtSa!d-dog

Got Health?

Last week I came across this amazing article about being healthy, and how it is each of our responsibilities to operate within our most optimum health in order to serve. Interesting that it always comes back to caring for ourselves before we serve the interests of others. Check out Pilar Gerasimo's call to revolution: Click on the link to see the full blog.

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A Manifesto for Thriving in a Mixed-Up World

Being Healthy Is a Revolutionary Act

Throwing off the chains of poor health and reclaiming our full vitality is both our individual right and our collective responsibility. And there is perhaps no more life-transforming choice.Being strong and healthy in an unhealthy culture makes you part of an empowered minority. It gives you freedoms and opportunities that poor health and fitness prohibit. It endows you with the energy, clarity and resiliency to fully enjoy your life, and to make bigger, more meaningful contributions in anything you do. Choosing a healthy way of life involves making some revolutionary choices, and it also has revolutionary results.

Because when you change your health for the better, you change the lives of everyone around you for the better, too.

In a very real way, you change your world.

Pilar Gerasimo

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How can you optimize your health and well-being? Are there any unhealthy patterns that you'd like to alter? How would your contributions change? Leave a comment and share your goal!

Lots of Love,
Dana

wE aLL R eNERgY!

hEY aLL!

My students and my own kids tell me every day how crazy, awkward, and weird I am. But I'm actually fine with it--'cuz it's true.

As my daughter Chloe, said to me just ten minutes ago, "Mom, you so cRaY-cRaY . . . and uBer-cRaY-cRaY . . . and . . . uR awesome and that's why I love you . . .". 

• Do you think she was referring to the fact that when we went to her diabetes appointment at the hospital yesterday--I got money from the cash machine and looked really surprised when it came out---I actually started jumping up and down, and raised my hands in the air and ran wildly down the hallway shouting, 

We're rich!

We're rich!

We're rich!

Woooo-hooo!

(it just seemed like the right thing to do...

we made patients in the hospital laugh out loud!) 

• Or, maybe that when we were on our way to the beach, we broke out in a random water-noodle war in the pathway complete with super stealthy Ninja-like moves and sounds? And then we moved it to the bandshell and pretended we were in our own movie?

So, so, so, fun . . .

and necessary for me . . .

if I want to be myself . . . 

and I am

fun

&

free

&

well,

ME!

(like my blog). . . 

Chloe and I like to be silly in public 'cuz we like to make people smile and laugh. That's why we hold hands and skip down the street, and sing out loud!

'Cuz super awesome positive amazing energy is

C**O**N**T**A**G**I**O**U**S!

If you don't believe me, check out this video about how negative and positive thoughts effect the arrangement of water molecules. 

It's amazing! And true!

Did you know that your body 

is made up of more than 60% water?

Imagine how you can

tRaNsForM your liFe

by whispering gentle LoVinG thoughts

to yourself and making

LoViNg choices

for beautiful and amazing yOu!

sO mUcH lOvE!

;0) dana-burger

ShiZZLe HaPPeNS: StAyInG pOSiTivE!

deAr fun & frEE oNes!

I have to admit that last week was a bit, well, trying . . . , one of my kids got into a tiff with their bestie (and, of course, I wanted to get in there and fluff it and make it better . . . ), and basically, everyone (including me) was MeLtIng dOwN. So, I went to one of my mentors, Marie Forleo, for some tips about what to do. Here's what she says:

How to Stay Positively Positive

( . . .or at least get there eventually!)

MarieForleo TV

In the middle of it, I was actually having mini panic attacks--like, when your heart pounds and your mind is racing and you really can't sleep 'cuz your way up in your head? I had to remind myself to . . . just . . . well, bReaThe . . . 

I also told myself through it all to trust that everything is happening as it should, and there's a bigger plan involved than I can see  . . . and it's true (more about that later!)

Anyway, I am so grateful for it all. And, I know there is a plan and we all keep on learning. 

So lucky!

Love,

d-doG