Does this picture make my butt look big?
This picture is what I do when I am sad.
Keep smiling. Pretend everything is okay.
Other ideas I've tried (among others . . .):
- not eating
- not exercising
- not sleeping
- not reading
- believing my thoughts
- arguing with my thoughts
Know what the hardest thing for me to do is? Move into my feelings of sadness. Too scary.
Will I ever come back? Will I die?
This is why I cry in the shower, in the bathtub, and when I am swimming. I feel supported by the water; I merge with the very tears that are coming out of my body and I am in a state of surrender.
My son has a move that he made up in the pool last week.
He floats on his back, puts his arms out like he is a cross, and repeats quietly in a low singing voice: "Water Jesus."
I think he's trying to tell me something. Kids are so darn smart before they begin to forget and learn all the grown up stuff.