Today my kids were all over the place, with their moods. Sometimes, I feel like THAT mOm, who wants to be peRfecKt, and who wants to raise happy, educated, "perfect" children, SO sometimes I get a bit freaked out when my kids are sad or mad (just like my own parents did...).
As in, eMotIons are good or bad? They just ARE . . .
Sometimes, I wonder if my kids don't share how they feel cuz I am such a sponge-slash-fixer. I don't let them be---I want tot make it BE(tter).
When I was growing up, things weren't that much different... as long as I was okay (and not sad or mad) my parents were okay.
And what I learned from THAT was THIS: If I wasn't okay, my parents weren't okay--which totally sucked for me for many reasons:
*I learned it wasn't okay to be anything but content and happy...
*I learned that my emotions weren't okay...
*I learned that feeling whatever I was feeling wasn't okay. . .
*and, eventually, (remember when I wrote to you about this before?)
my emotional life sort of went . . .
. . . which means I stopped talking about my feeling 'cuz I didn't feel comfortable or safe.
I even lost touch with how I felt 'cuz I would just
push feelings away
or iGnOrE tHeM or aRgUe wItH tHeM,
or pReTend they weren't there.
I couldn't even explain how I felt about stuff, NE more-- which meant I lost touch with my gUt & my heart (oUr two most important gUides, yo.)
I'm teaching my own kids the same crap-a-liscious stuff about feelings that I learned from the growNuPs in my LifE. Like, I want to swoop in and REscUE thEm and fIx their emotIOns when they are sad or mad (BTW: as I write this, I know in my heart and head it's totally ridiculous!--and it sounds cRaZy!).
BUT ( and a BIG BUTT!!!! hahahaha)--at least I'm learning and I'm catching my(bad)SelF in the aCT of rePeaTinG this tOtALLy GroSs pATTern!
So, I will definitely talk to my kiDs about this unHEALTHY fAmiLy pAtterN!
Then, they can CALL ME OUT when they think I'm doing it, 'cuz we're a team! And we are all working on stUfF... (our latest is interrupting . . . we have an INTERRUPTING JAR where we have to put in 10 cents when we interrupt another person in our family!!!!!
ya feelin' it? I AM ;0)