Yesterday I challenged all of us to be brave and one of the ideas I had to practice brAvErY (by that, I mean listening to your gUt and Ur heart) was to tell another person how you feel. . . to be honest, I have had a hard time sharing my feelings for most of my life. I think it started when I was a kid, actually, when gRowNuPs used to argue with me about how I felt (which doesn't even make sense, does it? how can you argue with how someone feels?). Others also used to tell me how I felt (did they crawl up into my head or into my heart?), or iGnoRe my feelings altogether.
So my emotional life sort of went . . .
. . . which means I stopped talking about my feeling 'cuz I didn't feel comfortable or safe.
Unfortunately, I even lost touch with how I felt 'cuz I would just
aRgUe wItH tHeM,
or pReTend they weren't there.
(sound familiar? . . . that's what I learned from the gRowNupS).
I don't really think they meant it, though.
Eventually, I kind of lost my ability to name or know how I felt about stuff-- which meant I was not in tUne with my gUt or my heart
(my two most important gUides, yo.)
So it's taken a lot of practice to get to know those parts of myself again,
which is secretly why I gave you
the challenge!ffPeePs: I dare you to share your feelings today--even if it freaks you out, or your heart pounds, or you think you are going to puke! I promise it will get easier!
Guess what? I still have tummy butterflies when I share my feelings. Luckily, I am getting braver, 'cuz the You-niverse is giving me lots of opportunities to share my feelings lately--both super awesome amazing happy feelings! and black hole-in-the-heart scary hidden cave-in feelings.
Remember that the we are given just what we need, no coincidences? Thanks You-niverse!
hearts and hearts and an extra hug for bravery!
p.s. One night before he died, I told my big brother (what up, Christopher!) that it bugged me that he hadn't looked at my blog yet . . . and guess what? He thanked me for telling him how I felt! . . . and didn't argue, ignore me, make an excuse, or anything! that was it! Whew! That wasn't soooo bad.