Monday, June 22, 2015

trUsT in it aLL . . .

“Life always gives us exactly the teacher we need at every moment.
This includes every mosquito, every misfortune, every red light, every traffic jam, every obnoxious supervisor (or employee), every illness, every loss, every moment of joy or depression, every addiction, every piece of garbage, every breath.
Every moment is the guru.”
- Charlotte Joko Beck
dEar fun & frEe oNes--
I have to admit that I lost it yesterday . . . I started to cry, and I couldn't really stop for awhile. Something just kind of took me over, and I had to let it out, and let it go.
I don't normally allow myself to cry--I usually just SUCK IT UP--but yesterday it actually felt really good . . . so I'm thinking that it was building up over time.
I'm not sure why I have figured that crying is a bad thing, and that nobody should see me cry (especially my own children), but after holding in emotion for so long, it kind of just pours out on its own, doesn't it?
I'm wondering if I let myself actually FEEL in little bits, maybe it wouldn't be so overwhelming when it hits (hey! that rhymed!). I mean, if I stay in touch with my feelings on a momentary basis, I would feel less sucked up in a storm of emotion (or am I just trying to control it, again? that's like SUCKING IT UP all over, isn't it?). 
I just feel what I feel, I guess. It's where I'm at, after all. MayBE I don't have to figure it out . . . mayBE I can just let it BE . . .
Today, I'm just gonna breathe . . .

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